I thought for sure I had posted on one of these "why do you" threads before . . . ?
Anyway, I intended to BF even since before I got pregnant. During my pregnancy I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, and the meds the doc put me on were fine during pregnancy but hadn't been fully tested for BF'ing. I did a TON of research and determined that based upon the dosage I was taking, I should be fine to BF. Ashlyn was born by c-section due to "failure to progress" after induction, cervadil, pitocin, AROM, and a full day of labor. She seemed to latch on OK right after she was born, but the LCs determined I had flat nipples so we used a nipple shield. That worked OK for a couple weeks but I was so stressed between trying to get her to nurse with the shield, pumping in between to get my supply up, and trying to keep her full! Needless to say my UC flared up badly and about 3 weeks PP, the doc put me on a steroid and upped my other meds. Therefore, I had to stop BF'ing/pumping. I was really bummed as I had looked forward to being able to BF, but my little girl is doing incredibly well on formula and she's a happy, healthy baby girl.
I posted on the 'why I bottle feed' thread, but I'm glad we have a seperate thread here, because there's definitely a difference between pumping and bottle feeding EBM and FF. I know, I've done both!
Maddie was born very quickly and 5 days before my scheduled induction (gestational diabetes). Even though she was my first, we almost didn't make it to the hospital. My nipples were never particularly big or pointy like most women's but I was told they'd work for bf'ing, and I had always intended to do so, right from the start, until she was a year old. That was the plan. Motherhood shreds all your plans and writes better ones, as I've found out.
I didn't have time for an epidural, so I had to go unexpectedly natural, and the shock plus the hormones flattened my nipples completely. The nurses said that happens sometimes, and sometimes it's permanent and sometimes it's not. Mine was.
My baby was always a bad latch; her baby nurse said she was the "worst combination of lazy and impatient" she'd ever seen. The nurse wasn't trying to be mean ( but imagine how my horrible hormones and I took that). After many horrible baby wail-filled attempts at nursing w/ several lactation consultants holding my breasts for me - so dignified, right in front of my in-laws, how lovely - we finally consented to Maddie being given bottles in the nursery. At least she'd have food. She couldn't nurse, so at least I could sleep at night knowing she had a full tummy.
I pumped and pumped and pumped some more, and that lasted 2 weeks. I gradually had to supplement more and more as her demand increased and my supply didn't. She still couldn't latch on right and a pump isn't a baby, as far as stimulating supply. I was constantly holed up in my bedroom either pumping - painful! - or attempting to nurse my baby who just wailed and thrashed and couldn't find the 'nipple' right in her own mouth. (She did this w/ bottle nipples too, for the first few weeks and still does occasionally so it's not just my breasts, at least. It's her too, poor baby.) After 2 weeks I'd been on my own during the day taking care of her and pumping all the time. It came to the point where I would often have to decide between pumping so my baby could eat ebm and not being able to care for her, or giving her formula and holding her and comforting her when she cried.
I was miserable, guilty, and constantly beating myself up for breastfeeding not going they way it 'should' for me and my baby. I guess I had to choose between holding a happy, comforted, baby with a tummy full of formula, and painful pumping 8-10 times a day, spending all that time away from my baby - who would be screaming for food and mommy.
Guess what I picked.
The first time I gave her a bottle we'd been trying to nurse for over an hour, her wailng, me sobbing, DH not doing too well himself but trying to comfort us both - and I finally told him to break into the sample of formula from the hospital and make a small bottle. I gave it to her and - I swear to God - looked at me and SAW me for the first time. She just seemed to be saying, "You DO give me food - you DO love me!"
I still feel guilt sometimes, and I'm still sad sometimes that we couldn't breastfeed, but DH is really grateful to be able to feed her, too, and I haven't encountered nearly the "disappointed in you" reactions that I thought I'd get when I stopped.
You do what you have to do to make you and your family happy and healthy, and that's the end of it.
Blogging is good for the mommy soul.
My reasoning is technically medical but since I still havent gotten my meds its not. I'm bipolar and was on a drug that was not safe for pregnant or nursing mothers so I stopped the day I found out. Had some issues with my bipolar since being off them but not much. i knew in order to go back on them right away aftrer I had my baby I would have to ff her. Okay no biggie. I had no real draw to bf anyways. So here is is 4 weeks later I'm not back on my meds and wont if at all for another 2 weeks. She is a mostly happy and very healthy lil girl. She went from 6lbs 11.8oz at birth to 7lbs 12oz at her 3 week appointment. I know she has gained even more weight and length since then since she is outgrowing some of her preemie clothes, newborn clothes are still HUGE on her. I dont feel bad at all that I wasnt able to bf at all since she is healthy and growing. I only had one time where I even thought about bf but its not for us.
Welllll i started to breast feed, but the medicine i take for my epilepsy i cant breast feed on it. and i tried to not take my medicine, but i started to have siezures. so know i have to take my meds. and i cant bf but its ok. as long as my lil one gets milk and is growing, then im fine w/ it.
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I am choosing to formula feed for both medical and personal reasons.
Medically, I am worried that my baby will not get enough nutrients from my breastmilk, due to dietary restrictions that I have. I have IBS, and cannot tolerate some foods, especially during a flare-up. Also, during flare-ups, my body has a hard enough time meeting my own dietary requirements, let alone supporting those of a nursing infant. I have had flare-ups in the past, during which I have lost 5-10 pounds at a time, and during which I eat very little, not exactly the best recipe for successfully nursing an infant.
Personally, I just do not feel comfortable with the idea of breastfeeding. Although I feel that it is a wonderful and beautiful thing for those who do it, it is just not for me, and I feel that I can just as easily lovingly formula feed my baby. I formula fed my first daughter, and she did quite well, is very intelligent, and very rarely sick. With our first daughter, my husband loved participating in her feedings, and I do not want to rob him of that opportunity this time around. He formed such a close bond with our first daughter through feeding her, and I want him to have that same opportunity for bonding with our second. We have both decided that formula feeding is what works best for us, for a variety of reasons, certainly not the least of which are the medical reasons that I have outlined above. Even if it were not for those reasons, however, I still feel that I would be inclined to formula feed again.
Originally posted by MizzCoco on 6/11/2006:
I've had such a hard time these past (almost) three weeks of my sons life because I wanted to BF SO bad, but due to complications directly after delivery I wasn't able to BF exclusively and had to supplement feed and hardly had any milk (no wonder my poor son was throwing a fit after 10 min) I am now bottle feeding. I feel incredible guilt about not BF even though I know it's not my fault, I can't help but feel like it is for some stupid reason. I was just wondering what everyone's reasons for bottle feeding were.
Originally posted by Peggy9 on 6/11/2006
my reasons for formula feeding is that its just what i wanted to do...i didnt want to breastfeed becuase i didnt have the urge too..(okay i did have the urge a few weeks when he was first born)but it went away quickly.I didnt feel comforable with it.Im enjoying feeding my son this way and i think if i had breastfed i wouldnt enjoy it as much.He has been formula fed since day one.My reasons may seem selfish to some but they arent meant to be.
Originally posted by twinsanity on 6/11/2006:
My twins are preemies, who were born at 30 weeks. They were tube fed until 34 weeks and then had poor suck reflex and poor latch because they were so small. After 12 weeks of pumping and trying to get them to latch, my milk supply was almost non existent and I was exhausted and depressed. I had to formula feed or end up with a nervous breakdown. It broke my heart and it still does but I KNOW it was the right decision. I needed be able to eat and sleep in order to take care of my babies and I couldn't do either while trying to nurse and bottle feed two infants and pump every three hours 'round the clock. Some things aren't meant to be and formula was invented to feed babies whose mother's couldn't BF. We shouldn't feel guilty about doing the best we can for our babies. Mama needs to be happy and healthy for baby to happy and healthy.
Originally posted by jemmak on 6/12/2006:
I bottlefeed because breastfeeding didn't work out for me, or rather, I couldn't figure out how to make it work. I wrote it here if you'd like the full gory details:
Denise, like I wrote in another thread--please know that I can be here to listen if you need to talk about these issues.
Orginally posted by:steubified on 6/12/2006:
I am going to bottle feed (formula feed). My first reaction to any bf'ing is borderline disgust (sorry that I offend ppl, but hey, you asked). I have been introduced to it very poorly by other people; aka, popping out your boob in public right in front of teenage boys and sensitive children. I also just don't feel comfortable with the thought of feeding my baby that way. I do know that it is better for the baby to bf, but I do also know that formula is the NEXT best thing--so why not? I also found out that with my hx of depression, PPD is something I'm going to be definitely fighting. I will have to get back on my natural meds right after birth to fight the PPD, and you absolutely cannot bf while on them, so that's the reason I usually tell ppl when they ask about bf'ing.