Here is a link a friend posted on FB. It may help some with the grieving process.
Personally I can't stand when people write about how horrible things are for c/s moms. Yes, I get it some mothers do feel differently than I do. But if I say that I am completely fine with the decisionto have 2 c/s, people feel sorry for me. They either assume I am uninformed or uneducated about the dangers of a c/s. No I am not. For me it was the right decisions. Or people assume I am "too posh to push". Yes I have awesome insurance, but that didn't affect my decision. I don't think I should always have to justify having a c/s.
I mean I get it that not many people see things like I do, but I never hear from the people who are just ok with it it like me. I think there has to be someone out therelikeme I get it c/sisn'tabig bag of fun, but people don't need to paint it as dreary, miserable and the worst thing that will ever happen in your life.
Sorry I get upset about this, just like c/s moms on the other side of things. I just wanted to voice my opinion and let people know it is also ok to be ok with a c/s birth.
I have had 2 c/s. And I'm perfectly happy with the decision. In fact I just started TTC #3!!
Its been almost 2 years since my c-sec and I've always been fine with it. I know we did everything we could, I was informed, I had a birth plan, but a vaginal delivery just wasn't in the cards. And I was okay with that. I was fortunate enough to have a VBAC with my second child, but going into that I was fully prepared for the possibility that it might not be possible and that I might end up with another c-sec, and I was okay with that too. Of course having a c-sec wasn't my fave thing in the world, but neither was my VBAC and all the tearing I had. My c-sec was not the end of the world for me, and I did not beat myself up over it like I see so many women on here do.
And when we have a third kid I will be totally fine with however s/he wants to enter the world.
I had 2 and am perfectly fine withit. i physically could have a vaginal birth and I did not grieve over it. I too hate when the negative comments about it. I also hate when some calls a vaginal birth " normal birth" I get very defensive about it because I have been made to feel like I have to be.
but that it just me. i get that other feel differently.
Shortly after I had my first child, i talked to my mother on the phone. She asked if i had had a normal birth. I said,"well since it was first and only, it was 100% normal for me."
I have heard a lot of dissing of cs. Like it isnt a real birth and the women dont care as much about their babies and are less of a mother. Trash talking either way is bad(ncb or cs), i dont like it. Everyone is entitled to their feelings but no one should be mean, kwim?
Sorry for the typos ivam on my phone and i hate auto correct.
I agree. I had two and I'm fine with it. Did I try for a vag birth, yes. Was it in the cards for me and my daughter, no. She's here, she's healthy and I healed. Do I sometimes wish I'd been able to deliver vaginally? Yes. Does it bother me, no. However a child is born, is perfectly okay with me.
me and DH 09/06/05
Alicia Marie 07/06/08
David John Courtenay 14/10/09
DSDs Portia 2001 Lexi 1999 Cassondra 1989
I had 2 c-sections... the first was an emergency one, the second was a scheduled repeat c-section. I have never had a moments guilt/remorse/sadness/whatever you want to call it over either. I don't feel I lost out on anything by not having a vaginal birth. I knew it was best for me and my baby. IMO, the MOST important thing is a healthy mom and baby. With my first one, if it hadn't been for the c-section, then me and/or dd may not be here. With the 2nd, it wasn't a decision made lightly... it was discussed with dh and my doctor multiple times and the decision wasn't actually made until the very end. With that one I got the "you're going to chicken out" comments from my sister/mother and I'm sure my SIL had a few thoughts in that direction too afterwards
C-section birth is for sure birth. I mean I have had 3 and I promise my children didn't just appear magically. I think the point of this particular article is that denying that not ALL women are ok with c-section and may have real emotional pain associated with the birth experience. It should be OK to grieve afterward if that is what you need to do. Because for some people the "All that Matters" is really NOT all that matters. I am happy to hear that there are women who are ok with their c-section experience. And I am really happy that we have birth choices. I just wish that it was OK to not be OK with having a c-section and that people could understand that. I think understanding and compassion on both sides goes a long way . As a doula I support any women who makes informed decisions about their birth, regardless of the decisions that they make. It is their birth experience not mine. All that matters to me is we have healthy mom AND healthy baby and healthy mom means a mom who is ok with her birth experience.
Christy birth doula, Hypnobabies instructor, small business owner & most importantly MOMMY.
I have acceptance of my c section. I tried everything possible to avoid it, but in the end it was what was needed. My other option was not safe (drive myself over an hour while in labour to attempt a breech delivery). I am not estastic over having one, but am working towards being accepting of it. It was hard because having it caused a lot of issues, which in turn led to my MIL walking away from her son and grandson forever and I can't help but feel like the cause of it because I had the c section and hubby works crazy hours I needed help so she was staying with us.
Put me in the C/S yes please! group.
I think many treat birth as they do breast feeding and mistakenly (I hope) put this unrealistic vision in women's eyes. It's nit romantic, it's not beautiful...it's pain and work. Yes in the end what you get is beautiful the getting there is not.
But honestly, I think women are targeted by those zealots who preach not about healthy baby but about how if it's not natural you have failed. And while they nay nit say those words, they are definitely implied. O feel sorry for anyone who feels they were robbed of a birth experience because they had a C/S. My only hope would be that they can cone to terms with understanding they had a different birth experience.