Feeling a little lost
Hi everyone. My name is Emily and I am currently pg with baby #2. I had a csec with my DS due to him being in a frank breech position and 10 days late.I had a "easy" time with it and healed wonderfully. With this baby my ob group has a policy of a repeat csec (esp since my pelvis is "untested"). They have all been really open about the idea of me changing practices to a group in the area that would allow me to attempt a vbac but, I'm not sure what to do. I love the idea of attempting a vbac but I know it is just that, an attempt, there is no guarantee that I wont end up needing another csec. I love my ob group and know that they are, in the long run, looking out for the best interests of the baby and myself. I just feel lost. I would hate to change practices and then end up uncomfortable with the drs or still end up needing a csec anyway. Like I said I love my drs all 4 of them are wonderful and make me feel so comfortable. I think at this point I am ok with staying where I am and doing a repeat csec but, it's a bit scary too. I don't know if I really have a question in here. I just need ideas, opinions and support. Please help me feel a little less lost and a little more sure of my decision.
:bighug: I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. The only person who should be able to make this decision is you. It's NOT their decision to make. They are NOT looking out for you & your baby because they're pushing you into something that is less safe for both of you. You're right, there's no guarantee that you can VBAC, but you don't know if you can do it if you don't try, and about 75% of those who do try, can do it. Those are pretty good odds, and even higher than the first-time vaginal birth rate considering that over 30% of first births end in c-section.
Here are a few things you might weigh in making your decision:
* the size of family you want to have. Multiple VBACs are safer than multiple c-sections. Some OBs even limit the number of c-sections they'll do to 3 & try to force you to have your tubes tied during your 3rd c-section. :(
* how well you heal & how well you handle pain meds.
* your support network for labor. It sounds like you'll be bucking the trend & you'll need a lot of emotional support, as well as someone to remind you of your rights & your wishes & ask for a moment to think things over if someone says you need a c-section. This might be your DH (if he's supportive & strong) or a good friend who's given birth vaginally or you can hire a doula.
* your support network for after birth. You're going to have a newborn & toddler to care for, and healing to do. Do you have someone (or a few people) who will be able to help (and I mean really help) after the birth, or will you be on your own after a day or two? If you're recovering from major surgery, you're going to need more help and for far longer, than with a vaginal birth.
* the hospital. Is it VBAC-friendly, or hostile? Do they have residents on duty? Do they have a good VBAC rate? A lot of women who don't have a supportive doctor but who do have a good hospital choose to stay with their doctor for prenatal care, and then use the hospital's residents during their labor & delivery. It's a bit tricky because you're essentially lying to your OB, and you have to find an excuse to forget to sign the c-section consent forms. :cool: But there's no rule that your doctor must deliver your baby, so you can simply tell the hospital that they are not to call your doctor.
* scheduling. A planned c-section is certainly convenient. :p If your only after-birth support is coming from out-of-state, or if your DH can only take time off if he requests it in advance, then a RCS might be the right decision to make.
* the other doctors. Have you heard good things about them? Bad things? What is their VBAC rate? Have you had a consult with them to see how you feel with them? Is being "comfortable" with your doctor, who probably won't be there for most of your labor anyway, an important enough consideration for you to not make a move? Could a doula provide the comfort factor during labor that you might feel you're missing with the other doctors?
* letting baby pick his own birthday. Even if you decide a c-section is the right choice, you don't have to schedule it. You can wait to go into labor & then go to the hospital for a c-section. This ensures that baby is fully baked, gets some of the good hormones from labor before being born, and you're not picking his birthday for him. It can also make for an easier recovery for mom, since your body knows that baby is on the way out, there's not so much stress from suddenly being not pregnant. This choice also gives you the opportunity to play things by ear, see how things go, and if they're going well & you feel good, you can just let labor keep going & have your baby. :p
I hope some of this helps you. Again, I'm so sorry you're feeling lost. No one should feel that way about their care providers. They're supposed to care for you, not make you have to think about switching to someone else.
I'm so sorry to are having this issue/feelings.
I'm a c/s momma. I'll be having my 4th in January. And I am very confident in that decision.
With DS#4 I was given the option of VBA2C or planned c/s. I seriously pondered the option until I was 28-32 weeks. Up until that time I thought I might try a VBAC. But I wasn't passionate or married to the idea, you know. Just thought, well, maybe. Then I got huge, uncomfortable...and really started thinking about my history.
I have never gone into labor. My first was 2+ weeks late and after 48 hours of Pit, I had only progressed 1-2cm and baby was in sure distress with no waters and miconium. So emergency it was. With #2 and #3, twins, it was an emergency at 38 weeks due to growing discrepancies and TTT. Thank god for those c/s because they saved my children's lives, this I am certain.
Now, there's no telling what it holds for you, as they say, every pregnancy and every labor is different but, with DS#4, I'm am thankful once again that I decided to go with a c/s. It was definitely the right decision for me. He had his cord tightly wrapped around his neck and the he was in such a position that the doctors had to climb up on the table and practically lay on my belly to get him out. I cannot imagine a TOL would have ended in anything except an emergency.
I have always had easy and perfect recoveries. Within a week I'm walking to the park and doing housework. I was back to exercising at 2weeks PP. For me, it'll be another c/s.
As for doctors refusing to do more c/s, maybe it's just my doctor but they have never even mentioned it. What are they going to do? Refuse you services? I doubt it. And they can't force you to tie your tubes. That requires more paperwork, too, just like c/s and VBAC. All require signed consent and disclosures. I know here in California, you have to sign consent at 28 weeks and then it has to go to the hospital and through boards and then they call you to confirm..., yada yada yada.
But, I do agree, you have to decide what is right for you. Think about it, talk to your partner and family, maybe they can all help you put your thoughts together. If you are considering a VBAC maybe you can go meet the other practice doctors before deciding? Just be honest with yourself and what you really want.
I'm also in California, and I could name doctors in Sacramento who have said exactly what I wrote above, to friends of mine. One of them even said he wouldn't show up for her c-section if she didn't consent to having her tubes tied. And having been involved with ICAN* for many years, I've heard the same thing from women in other states, too. I've also heard of OBs who won't take patients who have had more than 3 c-sections. It's wrong, and I think forcing women into any medical procedure they don't want should be illegal, but it happens. :( It's worth an ask to one's doctor because it's not always information they share up front, and it might sway a woman's decision-making one way or the other.
Originally Posted by turtnjay
* It's not letting me do a link here. The address is www.ican-online.org
Being right outside Sacramento myself, I'm appalled to hear that. It is worth asking, I guess I am very lucky that my doctors don't see it that way. I was told about the paperwork procedure IF I wanted to tie my tubes this time around and I declined.
If a doctor refused to attend my birth due to my NOT consenting that, then they would not be my doctor. Plus, arriving at the hospital in labor, someone will do it. And they can't just tie your tubes while you're in there.
Kind of like if you really want a VBAC but your hospital says no. If you show up in labor and refuse, nothing they can do except have you sign a load of papers and give you care.
Thank you ladies. I have a lot of thinking and soul searching to do. Which is not made any easier by my hormones lol. I really appreciate everything both of you shared with me. I will keep you updated on what I decide to do.
Thought I'd chime in too.
I had 2 vaginal and my last was a c. I think you still have enough time at 19-20 weeks to go to another practice and meet the docs to decide if they are a good fit for you. If you hate them you can return to your current practice and do another c-section if you want to.
Having had both there are good and bad to both. I do think it's worth a try to do a VBAC if you can.
That being said it really is your choice. Don't let anyone push you either way. If you think you want the VBAC then get a referral from your current doc. If your doc really is good they'll refer you to someone who is likely to be a good fit for you.
GL - I'd love to hear what you decide. I hope the rest of your pg is stress free.
I am finding that with this, my second c-section, they are trying to force me to get my tubes tied. I have heard of so many complications with the tubal from having it done and even more from having it done with a c-section. I don't think all practices are the same but I really am not sure what to think. I think that you need to consider what is best for you and your family, plus listen to what your body tells you.
I had a lot of questions for my dr at this last appointment. She was so great about all of it, I asked about so many things I had to write it all down lol. As far as having to have my tubes tied or anything like that she said they are comfortable with do as many as 5 c-sec, she said if I wanted to have more than that she wouldn't tell me I couldn't but she wouldn't suggest it. I want no more than 4 so I'm good with that. She just really firmed up my decision that I am in the right place and the baby and I will be taken care of above all. She did give me the information about 2 other practices in the area that would let me try for a vbac but, at this point I don't think I am going to use them. Thank you all so much for your input and support! I really appreciate it more than I can say, so many people have treated me like I am crazy for not just accepting what the drs have said and for making sure it is right for me. Thank you for not making me feel like that here you really are wonderful. I'll keep you all posted on the rest of my pregnancy and hope to get to know you better :bigarmhug:
I'm glad you've made your decision and that you are a peace with it. That's what is important!
I'm glad your doc was informative and open to what you were saying.
GL to you - I hope the rest of your pg is wonderful and that your c-sec goes very smoothly with a quick recovery!