I have been dragging posting this as we have been working through. My dad (84) has been diagnosed with cancer. We are still working to find out more information following one surgery to remove some and a flurry of tests. He has another surgery coming up the first week in November for a second area of tumors.
First it was a battle to get him to share the news with my mom. As you all know she's had so much on her with my brother's failing health and that of her sister (my aunt that I shared with you), and her brother (my uncle -- that I don't know if I had a chance to tell you about.)
My dad reallllllllllllllllllly did not know how to tell her nor did he want to. They have been together for so very long.
After working through that with him, the next step has been sharing with all the kids. Over the years, we have had conversations about death (and our beliefs) which I am grateful for. Right now, there is no long term prognosis but unfortunately we know that we can't all live forever and cancer definitely takes a toll. I know that there is rarely a time when we are ever ready to let go.
As close as our kids are to my parents -- especially the older ones -- these were some tough discussions that I'm certain will be ongoing. Just keep them in your prayers as well.
So true- we know we will have to deal with death of a loved one at some point but I don't know that anyone is ever 100% ready.
My 5 year old has a definite curiosity about death/dying right now, though nothing in particular has sparked it that I can tell. She is often asking how old I'll/she'll be when I die, or where people go, or why people visit cemeteries, etc etc. This morning her baby sister slept in a little longer than usual, and she said matter-of-factly, "If I were you, Mommy, I would have thought she was dead, since she wasn't waking up for so long."
Anyway, I'll be praying for you and your family as you work through end-of-life as a more tangible possibility.
I see it's been over a month since this original post (sorry, I'm not as good about making the rounds to "my" boards these days!); any update on your dad? How did last month's surgery go?
Sorry. I've missed this board and wasn't sure if anyone was checking back anymore. Dad had his third surgery last week. They spaced things out due to his age / health and in an attempt to reduce the risks.
It has been a juggle here with them all. My uncle (my mom's brother) got moved out of the hospital into a hospice care center this past week. He may be transported to yet another location soon. (FTR, how the elderly are treated disturbs me.
My parents celebrated their anniversary this week. All of our kids got together and created a book that they then taped each one reading a page dedicated to their grandparents. It was *not* a perfect recording -- as it captured those moments of squeals, giggles, nudges to get 'better spots', etc. All that made it PERFECT for them. (Plus -- they couldn't return it!!!)
Thanks so much for the prayers and for boosting the posts here! I love seeing you all!! ((((((HUGS)))))
What a cute idea for an anniversary gift! LOVE it!
Agreed on how the elderly are treated. I work in health care and catch glimpses of it when we send patients to extended care facilities for further rehab. It just isn't a priority in our current political system, to fix this broken system/mentality. What can you do?