How do you deal with the hope?

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raingirl28's picture
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
Joined: 09/03/07
Posts: 1347
How do you deal with the hope?

Well, after almost 2 years of "should we/should we not?", we are going through with IUI and Clomid. I have my setup appointment with the RE on Thursday to start next cycle. Of course, this is if nothing new was found in our second round of testing (new SA and genetic screening).

I know how important a positive attitude is for these types of things and I really want to just spend the whole month in the "it will work, I know it will" positive mind frame. But at the same time I'm really scared of the crash if it doesn't work.

I'm a very level headed balanced person. I don't like to get home hopes up for that reason, but I wonder if my "what if" personality and thought patterns might actually be doing more harm than good?? It's not that I'm negative, but I always have to view everything from both sides, the good and the bad.

Anyone have any tips for remaing positive but for also surviving the crash if it doesn't work? Should I just convince myself and my body and my brain it will work, then accept that if AF shows I will be an emotional wreck?

We only plan on doing IUI once, then demanding further testing for our "unexplained infertility" diagnosis. We don't have any plans for more IUI unless further testing warrants it. (and our doc won't give Clomid without monitoring and IUI)

combatcutie's picture
Last seen: 1 hour 52 min ago
Joined: 04/04/07
Posts: 2391

I wish I had some words of wisdom, but after trying for almost 7 years, no matter how hard you prepare yourself, it is still hard. Good luck

Last seen: 2 years 7 months ago
Joined: 12/01/10
Posts: 997

I think what I've learned from my TTC process this past year, and am still trying to put into actual practice, is to stop putting life on hold just in case the good or the bad happens. While it gets harder to schedule life around planned procedures (IUI, IVF), do make sure to plan some time for yourself and your significant other to do something that you enjoy, even if it is something small, regardless of the procedure outcome. My little thing is that DH and I go out for sushi when AF shows up - it takes some of the edge off my frustration because sushi is something I know I would miss while pregnant. I do have some grieving time with each BFN but the sushi is my own way of resetting so I can face the new cycle.

I forget where this quote came from but I think I heard it recently on a show or something, "It will turn out okay in the end, and if it's not okay yet then it's not the end" Now while this could mean that we have a long journey ahead of us it gives me hope that there is a good ending looming somewhere out there even if it not the path I planned to take originally.

Coastieswife's picture
Last seen: 3 years 8 months ago
Joined: 08/06/08
Posts: 408

I found that just better preparing myself for if it doesn't work helped a lot. I would allow myself to be dissappointed for a set amount of time (usually a day or two) and then make myself move on. I would always go into the next cycle with renewed hope and that was always good. Good luck! Ill be stalking you!!!!