So I need to vent
It's not often that I have someone trigger me to be upset for more than a few days when it comes to comments about TTC, but I have been triggered and I need to vent to get it out of my head somewhat so I can focus on my work and not call her up and yell.
My mom called me up the other day and told me that I need to get rid of my cats (we have two) because the kitty litter dust that sticks to their fur is what has caused the miscarriages we've had (or so she thinks). I told her that I did not feel it was the case and that the litter is cleaned by DH - she told me she did not care, that she felt that I owed it to her to get rid of them. She then proceeded to tell me that she's upset that she has to be the one to hear from her friends that they all have grandbabies to spoil and that she is tired of them asking her when will I have children.
On a side note - my mom is a grandma, my brother and his wife have two children but my parents are not allowed to see them because my sister in law does not like my mom and dad as they don't have alot of money.
Growing up with my brother, I was always the one seen to my mom as a failure to her -- even though my brother is allowed by his wife to come out for a 3 hr visit 4-5 times per year and she's not allowed to see his children, she still sees him as the 'wonderchild'.
How do I tell her politely to shove it and to fkn wake up and realize that infertility is hard to deal with and that her added pressure and disapproval is not welcomed. How do I tell her that the chances of us having a child is very low - that the majority of pregnancies for a woman with PCOS ends in a miscarriage in the first trimester. I've given her SOO much information to read about PCOS but she tells me that it makes no sense to her . When I try to explain it she gets mad because she thinks I am just trying to make her feel stupid.
I am seriously at whitts end. I thought mother's were susposed to be supportive when it comes to the tough schyte... I just don't get it anymore. DH thinks I should just brush it off and ignore it.
If it was not for her heart condition (she has angina attacks and has had a few heart attackes which are brought on by emotional stress) I would tell her to shove it. Ugh!
Any suggestions ??
Thanks for letting me vent - I appreciate it.