Last year, I won one of the giveaways from Preg.org. It was the Financial Peace bundle from Dave Ramsey. Missy J asked me awhile ago if I'd consider posting on this board at the beginning of the year. Well, things were a lot busy w/ 3 and a new baby at the beginning of the year so I'm just now coming around.
Just a little background about me. DH & I have 4 earth children & 1 babe in heaven. We are very thankful to not have debt except for our house and we're hoping to keep it that way and work towards paying off our house so that we can be totally debt-free. His job has to do w/ the automotive industry and there have been LOTS of cuts at his place of employment--a 5% cut across the board, people let go, further pay cuts & hours cut for some which equals further loss of wages, etc. His company is doing all that it can to stay above water and ride things through. Thankfully at this point, his position is such that he would probably be one of the last to be let go. However, we know there is not any guarantee that the company will be able to ride out these tough times and it's possible that he could end up losing his job or the company closing. We're sure hoping it's neither.
I'm looking for others to come on out and start posting. It doesn't matter where you are financially, it would be great to have you here. Whether you're needing encouragement, advice, want to celebrate achievements,
need to vent, have advice to give, I'd love to see it buzzing around here.
So please come join in!! I'm anticipating that it can be a great journey towards reaching our financial goals!!
Monica & John 5/20/2000
DD1 (9), DD2 (7), DD3 (5) DS (2) & 5 Babes in Heaven
Monica -- how awesome to see you here! Thank you so much for encouraging participation. I would love to see if we can recruit more from throughout the site. If you would be interested in learning more about hosting please drop me a note at email@example.com
Everyone - thank you too for joining in as well. This is an issue that is near and dear to my own family and I would love to see others find their way out of debt and *into* living!
I also like the idea of this board, although I realize it is a topic people don't like to talk about.
Anywho, about me: I just finished grad school, which of course means I am in lots of debt. And now with a baby on the way, the pressure is really on. Luckily, I have a new job which pays well and has good health care. I have recently paid off my car and am hoping to have a few other bills under control by the time the baby arrives. I don't want my child to be raised in a financially strapped home, as that was the way I was brought up, and I'd like to make a change. Maybe if I have a support group, it'll be a little bit easier to stick to a financial plan. Good luck to everyone else moving toward a debt-free life!
This is not an unkown topic for me. I was given the total money makeover book a few years ago. I read it and used it to set up a budget but never did the baby steps. We did a lot of cutting back. At the time we only had 1 baby and no car payments. Everyone had health and DH and I both had jobs. At the time we used it to pay off our store CC's. and since we have stuck to the budget or so I thought.
In April the gas was almost cut off and with the help of the church we where able to stop that. I have not worked more then 6 hours a week since Heaht was born and in my denial that anything was wrong I just let this one ooops slide.
June 9th when talking about bills I learned DH had not paid the car note (we got a used mini van when expecting baby #3) in my quest to figure out how we did not have this money to pay the bill I started my search for the " lost" money. Dh kept telling me one day the money was in the bank and then the next time he looked it was short 200. It turns out that while I was prego and now involved with taking care of Heath I let DH take over the bills. Nothing was getting cut off and while I knew things where tight I also knew how our budget looked and never questioned. We talked about me quiting my job and redid the budget. It looked like I could and so June 1st I resigned.
Then bill collectors started to call me, and I at first just gave them DH's phone # saying I don't do the bills. But when this started happening daily (one company called every 6 hours) I started opening DH's mail.
I learned he has 3 CC that I did not know of with balances on them. We are now 6k in more debt than I knew of and the money was going to him paying his payments. When confrunted and asked how long this was going on he said 18 months and when asked how long he thought he could keep it from me he said "well I was doing fine until you quit your job" I brought in 600 a month when working and we only needed 250 of that to pay the car note the rest SHOULD have been going into savings. We talked about everything from buying used cars and anything more then $20. I was under the faulse impression that I knew where our money was going.
I was feeding our family of five with$170 a month, buying shoes and cloths at good will, we had no luxeries and DH was not brining things home. As far as I knew he was eatting PB and J every day at work like we where at home. This turned out not to be the case, and he was going out to eat, and buyng other things to hang out with the guys on nights I thought his buddies where paing for it. I am hurt and upset about it all. I am now in NY to get some distance and he has taken on a 2nd job. It is not so much the money but the lies and the party life he was living while I was struggling to just feed the kids at home that pisses me off, and now he is working 2 jobs and going to school so I and feeling alone when it comes to all things children related. This is a huge relationship strain.
I just listened to TMM on CD for a refresher on my drive to NY (BTW my dad paid for it) and we set up a budget before I left. I have taken DH's cards and left him with cash to get gas in his car and left. I have also taken over all the bill paying and set up auto drafts from our account so the money will be gone for the bills that are nessacarties.
Emotinaly I am hurting I feel he did this to his kids and they miss him so already that he not only stole money from them for food but he has caused basic nesataries to be turned off as well. And now because he has to work this 2nd job they get to see him even less.
I can use the TMM to fix the bills but I don't know how to fix the lost trust in our relationship over it.
I am thinking of not only doing and emergancy fund for the family but one for myself with the little baby sitting money I make on the side. But then I think that is no better then the lies that he did by keeping money from us.
Last edited by mujul79; 07-07-2009 at 10:46 AM.