I am 22 and my SO is 44, he has a 12 year old daughter and I have a 2 year old son. I am 8 weeks pregnant with our first baby together. In a confusingly long situation to explain i am in florida and he is in california. he will be here in june and i miss him. Well i have bipolar and am now pregnant after 6 mos trying and finding out my uterus is tilted forward and lays on my bladder. it was a surprise because of the move (we had decided to stop trying and wait a year the month before we moved/concieved. i am happy and scared but i know ill be ok. but i feel concerned for the relationship between my SO and I. he has recently stopped checking on me during the day and goes to bed before i can call at night. yesterday he admitted hes scared.
Te back story of his fear: his daughters mother carried their second daughter until 8 months when the plecenta abrupted and they lost the baby but still had to do the delivery. they had names picked and a room all set up. so upon her birth/death he was very torn up. he was counceled for 8 months after samantha's death.
So I understand why he may pull back a little but it hurts me and scares me. I don't know how to handle this, i want to tell him to suck it up and get over it because his daughter died 7 years ago. and im due so close to her death that i am terrified my baby will be born too close or on the same day. I feel hurt and angry and I just want to scream " hey! im the one carrying this thing so far away from you! i have had a loss too! get over what happened enough to allow yourself to be happy about this baby!" but i know saying such a thing would be very selfish. someone help me please?
(I should point out that he says hes happy and wasnt hiding how he feels. He was upfront and honest when i asked how he was dealing with everything and feeling about the pregnancy. and his distance didnt start until the last week. we found out at 6 weeks that im pregnant)