I was diagnosed last week with PCOS. I have been TTC for months and have not had a period without meds since I discontinued BC. I went a doctor after 2 months and they said i would be fine and gave me Provera as that would jump start my periods... didn't work. Next doctor gave me Clomid and said I would surely ovulate... didn't work. New doctor ran the tests that they others were supposed to run and found out I have PCOS. I have been placed on Metformin and told that we would wait and see. She won't put me on Clomid for at least two months. I guess I am really struggling. I know that there is a possibility I can't have kids and that there is a possibility that I can and that it just might be harder.
I feel like if I were ovulating that it would feel that at least I have a chance but since I currently am not its been tough. I know if I ovulate that it will be harder to get pregnant, I know that if I get pregnant I have a higher probability of miscarriage. I just feel like this isn't supposed to happen to me.
To top off everything, my SIL had a baby the day I got my diagnosis. She has been bugging my husband and I for months to have a baby so her baby can have a cousin. She is very irresponsible with most things in her life and today I got to visit her in the hospital with the new baby and she was talking about how she wanted to have another one by this time next year. I just can't muster up enough strength to pretend to be happy for her. I feel that I can barely handle the disappointment and devastation I feel and that I feel that I have let my husband down. How is Metformin going to be any different and make me healthy enough to have a baby again. I am doing the diet (which is miserable enough as I love all things that are carbs) I am doing the exercise. I feel like crap and there are no guarantees that any of this is going to work. If anyone has encouragement about Metformin I could really use some right now.
I understand exactly how you feel. My story is very similar - I got off BC in Dec and didn't have AF until April or so. The OB/GYN said, "Oh, the BC just needs to get out of your system." Then, he had the audacity to tell me "not to chart" becuase "it will just cause you to delay ovulation when you stress out." Well, had I charted we would have figured something was wrong.
Then I didn't have another AF until September. Finally, changed doctors and found that I had PCOS. I was devastated. I had that same feeling that it was a "death sentence" for being a biological mother. I tried two rounds of 50 mg Clomid with timed intercourse - nothing. Then, that OB\GYN quit without saying anything.
At that point, I took it upon myself to go to a RE. The one I found was spectactular and, as you can see, by the siggy - made it happen. (Typically, I would not leave it up, but I wanted to show you it can happen).
My point of this story is that I felt very depressed and was "so sure" it would never happen. I had the same guilt you did re: my DH. He was very supportive, however, and understood it was like him a "sinus issue" - just in the different part of the body. It's not like we "caused it." Plus, if there is one infertility disease to have, PCOS is it!! It is one that can be "fixed" (by ovulatory stimulators) and can be managed. Don't give up hope. My advice would be to schedule with an RE now - they know so much more than GYNs about it!
Read about PCOS, do the "PCOS diet" and know you're going to beat it. It took us 19 cycles, but we did!!! GOOD LUCK. PM me if you need anything!
Thanks... over my initial freak out and coping with the low carbs. Hope things get better soon. Started metformin over the last week, will be up to 2000mg by the end of the month. I started spotting yesterday, I don't know if that is normal or not, any ideas?