Case with feeding tube made me think of mom

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mujul79's picture
Last seen: 1 year 11 months ago
Joined: 01/22/05
Posts: 1843
Case with feeding tube made me think of mom

I just let my mother go, in Aug. I was 38 weeks prego and of course wanted her to see my baby and she wanted the same. But when your body gives up on you even your will to live is not going to always be able to keep you alive. My mother died with cancer in her brain. She went to treatments everyday and they only made her tired and sleep, we decied to stop them. She spent 13 days only taking a few sips of water she had decied to stop eatting. We could have givin her a feeding tub but decided not to, becasue it is natural when you body starts to shut down that you stop feeling hungry or eatting. She had brain activity and was able to talk and let us knwo if she was thirsty but at the end she even stoped askeing for that. Life weather we want to admit it or not ends.

She was only 49 and about to she her first grandchild, I was not 100% sure at the time what to do. She had a DNR but we kept her cuffy gave her O2 and morphine until she passed. At the end she was in alot of pain she we gave her twice the amout of morphine and she went to sleep. But I don't belive I "put my mother to sleep" like she was the family pet, and I can tell you why. Only a few days earler she seemed to be in the same pain and we gave her the dubble dose and she went to sleep but 8 hours latter woke back up. After seeing that I belived she would not die until ready and all we where doing was keeping her pain free.

You will never know what it is like to watch a loved one live in this state unless you live it. My views on it have changed in the last year. I loved my mom so much and wanted her to help me as I was becomming a mother but you can't do things for people for your own needs, you have to do what is best for them (there chooice). I personal would have wanted the tube but she did not so we did not do it, even thougth at the time Dad was 100% incharge of her medical care and she did not have a will.

Someone else posted above and I agree, this was my mothers body but not my mother, she had been gone a while.

I feel for any family about to loose a member but I don't think it is up to us to decied when a person dies. I feel bad that it has lasted so long for this family. HUGS to them.

Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 05/05/03
Posts: 47

I agree with you, sorry it reminds you of your mom. THat's what we went through with one of my grandpa's. He had a stroke and wasn't found for 2 days and it put him in a coma. They had him on life support for about a week and a feeding tube and then the family decided to pull everything. There was no point in keeping him alive for him just to be in a coma with very little chance of waking up. After everything was pulled he died 3 days later.

On this case, I really think they should just let her go. Her poor family. I really don't think that it's right for the courts to get involved in things like this. THey do all the time. I never really thought about anything like this before but now I have made it known to all of my family that if it were to ever happen to me, let me go. I wouldn't want to live like that and they shouldn't want me to or have to deal with it.

Last seen: 1 year 6 months ago
Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I know all too well how hard it is to make the decision to pull the plug so to speak on a loved one. In June it will be 2 years since we made that decision with my dad. He had a stroke on a Thursday and on Sunday we had them to take him off of the resperator and within about an hour he passed on. It was not something that he wanted so we abided by his wishes. It is soooo hard to let go but prolonging it doesn't make it much easier. IMHO

Last seen: 6 years 10 months ago
Joined: 11/12/09
Posts: 18

I feel very sorry after getting info of your mother's loss. I think it is very difficult to you enduring time like this. I pray for her rest in peace and may the God bless you and your family.