Hello Lizzy, I m so sorry for heard about your father. I know what you feel in this time. I lost my uncle 3years ago and I really hurting. I miss him very much and can't forget him. I understand your feelings. Its really hard and difficult time for you.
When we lost our loved one, its very painful to us. You can trying to deal your grief with grief counseling. Its the best way to deal your grief. I pray to God for relief your grief and decrease your pain.
May God Bless you.