How often do you go to the gravesite?

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rickydiculous's picture
Joined: 02/14/02
Posts: 140
How often do you go to the gravesite?

I think this past Sat. was the first time in about 18 months. Last time we went they were fixing the walkway above DH's interment wall, so we couldn't go up to it.

This Sat. we went, put heart stickers on, and read the wall. It made Ricky feel better. But it was biting cold so we only stayed for 5 min.

HockeyTownMom's picture
Joined: 05/20/02
Posts: 417

I don't go often enough. But when it's nice out and I have some extra cash, I go to my Grandparents, Brother, and my Aunts/Uncles graves with flowers. They are all next to each other. I take the kids with me and tell them about our family there.

Joined: 11/26/05
Posts: 1

Hi....I go see my dad...not too often. I find it too painful. When I go there I am reminded that he's gone...

Joined: 09/15/02
Posts: 61

James' ashes are in a really nice box/urn. it is kept on our entertainment center. I haven't told Jordan that's where her daddy is yet, I don't want to freak her out or give her more nightmares than she already has Sad

mujul79's picture
Joined: 01/22/05
Posts: 1843

My mom is in NY and I live in GA so every time we go up I go and bring flowers.

Joined: 04/21/03
Posts: 1

Just found this board...my sister died in a car wreck 3 and a half years ago. I HATE going to her grave. It's so weird there. I've been: when we buried her, when they got her gravestone up, with my dh and son, once, and once with just my son. Every time I go, it's just the saddest place in the world for me. My heart starts beating really fast as soon as I drive into the cemetary. Now we've moved away from there, and I don't know when/if I'll go back again. Probably sounds terrible. But I can't think any positive thoughts of her there, and I'd rather not go there and only be able to think of the negative, and then not be able to get it out of my head for days and days.

Amanda

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I go to Peter, Samuel, and Patick's grave several times while we are home. We live in Ohio and they are buried back home in Pa. Dh and I have taken Luke and Noah to see their brothers...it is the only times that I can have all my quints together. When the weather gets nicer I hope to take them and get a picture of them at their brothers' grave. My mom goes every week if she can. She is so sweet to decorate their grave for every holiday for me. She just put up the Easter baskets that I made for the boys and their Easter flag. It makes me feel a bit better to know that they are visited by family and that in a way they are celebrating with us. I know that there are many people who go to visit them. The quints are very special to a lot of people in our home town...they prayed for us while we were in the hospital.
So, while it is a sad place for me, because I have to leave my darling babies, it is also the only place that I feel completely whole because I am with them again.

Joined: 11/18/02
Posts: 2

Hi. I lost both my parents within 8 months of each other. My Dad suddenly on 10/01/04 and my Mom to Ovarian Cancer on 5/25/05. It has been a struggle for me,my siblings and our children. I go to the gravesite more often then they do because I live closer. I go twice a month. I have a hanging plant, statues, a solar powered garden light and heart shaped rocks up there. I find that on a "hard day", I can go there and pray. I find comfort there. I'm sorry for everyones losses here. I know we will see our loved ones again someday.

Joined: 11/18/02
Posts: 2

Hi. I lost both my parents within 8 months of each other. My Dad suddenly on 10/01/04 and my Mom to Ovarian Cancer on 5/25/05. It has been a struggle for me,my siblings and our children. I go to the gravesite more often then they do because I live closer. I go twice a month. I have a hanging plant, statues, a solar powered garden light and heart shaped rocks up there. I find that on a "hard day", I can go there and pray. I find comfort there. I'm sorry for everyones losses here. I know we will see our loved ones again someday.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I went to visit my nephew in March. Twice actually once for the anniv. of his death and then 9 days later for his birthday. I visited my dads too while there. He is just below my nephew. I should go more often than I do, but I hate taking the kids there. Especially my DD she just gets so emotional when we go. I hate seeing her in that much pain.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

My sister was not buried. I think I am glad that there is no gravesite to go to. It's been three years and I will probably cry every time I think about her for the rest of my life. I do believe in life after death and that the grave did not win.
Every time I hear Kenny Chesney's song about loss, the verse "What would you name your babies?" just kills me. Then the song comes on "God only cries for the living" and it reminds me I'm the one who is hurting, she is not, and someday, our family will be together again.

Joined: 10/25/01
Posts: 567

My dad's ashes were just buried a week ago and I have been four times, of course we live in the same town so that helps. I take flowers to my friend Michelle's grave once a week(same cemetery), so I will be going at least twice a week.

Joined: 08/13/06
Posts: 2

My mother died 2 years ago and i have not been to her grave at all. I feel so bad but i am just starting to live again and to see that might bring me back to the beginning
Hannah

Joined: 08/25/06
Posts: 1

My son Mitchell passed away 3 1/2 years ago at the age of 12 , he had a cancerous brain tumor Sad . we visit him every sunday ran or shine snow storms and all.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

i know this is an old post but i wanted to comment. i havent been at all. i drive down the road hat the cemetery is on and panic. i cant do it and now i wonder if i ever will. i think i will go crazy if i go their.

Joined: 06/27/09
Posts: 50

I didn't do something special for going there. I just go to my grandfather's grave and burn a candle on his grave. Its give me some relief and I remind my grandfather. I thought he is always in my heart and I can't forget him.
My best friend lost his grandma and he also doing same work like me. Its the best way to remind our loved ones and they would alive in our memories.