I did it again

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Joined: 09/15/02
Posts: 61
I did it again

I woke up this morning and my first thought was I needed to tell James something, then I remembered. I dreamed about him last night. I can remember his smile and the look in his eyes when he was ammused with something I had just done.
I went to the chiropractor yesterday. Everyone there is wonderful. He even came to James' memorial service. I told him that I am so sore that I felt like I needed Carlos to come over to my house for an hour. Carlos is a massure that James and I met through the office, he worked for my chiro for a number of years. He now comes to peoples homes. James and I once a month would have him come over and work on us. Carlos was at the service too....... I told my chiro that I felt guilty about even thinking of calling Carlos and getting pampered for an hour. Everyone in the office told me that I need to take care of myself now and that massage is good for body and soul and that James would not want me walking arround in agony and chances are he would call and make the appointment for me if he could.
I hate this!

rickydiculous's picture
Joined: 02/14/02
Posts: 140

Dreams are wonderful things. I dreamt a lot of Richard in the first year. It helped a lot. Even now when I dream of him, it makes me feel better that he is still so close to my heart.

It took me over a year before the first thought in my head was not about DH. It's been 3 years and I still call him my DH, even though legally we are not together anymore. I'm not sure I can say life will ever be normal again, just different, and you learn to live with it. And eventually you stop feeling guilty for having the joys in life. And you learn to enjoy them alone, or with a new partner. But there is no rush, it's still so new for you. ((hugs))

Joined: 02/18/02
Posts: 6

I agree with what everyone was saying, take care of yourself! I had my first dream on Valentine's Day this year and it totally felt like he was really here. I think it was his gift to me ugh just thinking about it makes me cry!