I feel raw

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Joined: 09/15/02
Posts: 61
I feel raw

It has been a week sense he passed and I just don't know what to do with myself. I am going to BIL and SIL's tonight for dinner. DD loves to play with her cousins. MIL had me over with the kids last night for dinner. I am still making 100's of phone calls, trying to get the credit cards and everything straightened out. You hear about identy theft and all of that.
I went to the morturary yesterday and picked up the death certificates. Pieces of paper in a manilla envelope, I also have our marrage certificates and birth cirtificates in the same.

In sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, for better and for worse, as long as you both shall live....... Boy did we do all that, I was just expecting it to last longer than 12 years Sad

I'm just not sure what to do now. It hurts to look at all his clothes in the closet, I'm not sure if it would hurt more to look at an empty closet. A friend of his family's was at the service. James and her son were in band together in high school. They grew up down the street from each other.... Anyway she offered to make a quilt out of his old tee shirts if I wanted, we went to lots of concerts, and lots of trips to Lake Powell over the years. I was just planing on wearing them until they wore out, but I like the idea of a quilt. Hopefuly that way they won't wear out as fast, I can keep a part of him with me longer.

Can I ask how long some of you waited to "empty" the closet and dressers? I was going to have his brothers do it with me, that way I don't have to do it by myself, and also if there is something they want, I would rather it go to them than the Good Will. Keep it in the family. KWIM?

rickydiculous's picture
Joined: 02/14/02
Posts: 140

Jennie, go with the feelings. There is no right or wrong. Just what feels right. And there is definitely no time frame for when you have to do things. I moved about 5 months after DH passed because Ricky needed more space. But after moving 4 times in the last 3 and half years, I still haven't thrown out most of DH's wardrobe, although I gave some possessions to family who would appreciate it. Take it slow, hon, you don't have to do it all at once. And you don't have to do anything until you are ready! :comfort: Hugs!

Joined: 09/15/02
Posts: 61

Thanks. I go back and forth between feeling numb, raw and in an almost surreal fog. Am I ever going to feel "normal" again?

rickydiculous's picture
Joined: 02/14/02
Posts: 140

It will be like that for a while. But eventually you will find a new normal. Just don't rush it. :comfort:

Joined: 02/18/02
Posts: 6

Well I waited till just a few months ago and my husband died on 7/17/03. I just did not see a reason to do it. I felt closer to him and having his presence throughout the house seemed to help me. I kind of think it was some false sense of hope that he was not really gone but whatever it was it worked for me. I remember leaving his dirty clothes on our bedroom floor for a month and anything else I could just as he left it. Take your time and you will know when it is right for YOU!