I haven't really dealt with this...

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Joined: 03/18/02
Posts: 4
I haven't really dealt with this...

Maybe this is the right time for me... I've kinda been pretending everything is fine, and I haven't dealt with it at all... I've lost three relatives in a fairly recent amount of time. The first to go was my Uncle George... He was the uncle I def. knew best. I have so many memories of him. He was a good man. He was loyal and kind hearted. He died of lung cancer. He had the fast moving kind and passed away several months after he was diagnosed. He never got to see my children. Nicholas was born, but his wife, my aunt thought it better not to bring Nick around and disturb him, and I understand and respect that. She didn't have services for him because they had already said goodbye by the time he passed away. Next, my great-uncle Oscar. That man was amazing. I always remember him as a huge mountain of a man. He drank his milk with ice. He died around my birthday, so my mom didn't tell me for a few months... Guess it just kept slipping her mind... Last time I saw him, he was in a wheelchair, but he was onrey as ever. The day after we saw him, they got the news that he was going downhill again. He got to meet Nicholas, and for that I'm very grateful. He was a wonderful, caring man. He lived in TN, so there would have been no way for me to go to his funeral... At the end of June, my Aunt Peggy passed away. My mom went out for her services, and again didn't tell me. My father told me when I called to see if my mom wanted the kids and I to come visit before she left to visit her family... My dad informed me that my aunt had died. When I showed remorse in her passing, my dad was like... why do you care? I never liked the b---- anyway. She never did anything for me... and told me all this bad stuff about her... Not the most conductive way for me to handle my grief, but it is what I was given... So, now I don't know if I'm just emotionally bankrupt, or maybe I don't care as much as I thought I did. I loved all three of them, and I am sad to let them go... Unfortunatly, none of them were all that close to me... And that saddens me, and reminds me of how fragile life is... and how we let such easy opportunities to spend time together pass... I wish I had the money and the means to visit my grandparents. I know soon they too will leave this Earth, and will have never met my children. I think it is important to have family and to know that family. I have a very large family, but I don't know most of them... and that's sad. The family I do know, I don't know that well... I wish I could just have the chance to tell my family how much they mean to me... I couldn't say anything to my father... it would be laughed off, or made fun of... and I don't know that my mom would care... My brother def. wouldn't... So I guess all the real family I have, I tell every day, every hour, as much as possible that I love them... My son, my daughter, and my beloved husband.

mujul79's picture
Joined: 01/22/05
Posts: 1843

I feel for you and I am sorry for all of your losses.

I am on my way to NY becasue my mother is dieing.

Read my post called "new about mom" if you want to know the story it is on the Sept 2004 birth board.

Joined: 03/18/02
Posts: 4

I'll post this is a separate thread later, but my brother just passed away... he was in a motorcycle accident, and it is killing me... I loved that guy so much... I miss him... My parents are letting me help in every step of this, and that's great... it is helping me say goodbye... I love Joe...

tinaruger's picture
Joined: 09/28/02
Posts: 82

I am very sorry for all of your losses. I know it does not feel fair. Just remember that they are all in a better place looking down on you and your family with light in their eyes and tons of love.