Lost of FIL

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Lizzy1216's picture
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 02/28/03
Posts: 9
Lost of FIL

My FIL passed away on Feb 19, I was 37 wks and 3 days pregnant and my BIL wife was 6 weeks pregnant. It is not fair that he missed my DD by only 6 days. I was schuduled for induction for well over 2 weeks when this happened. He knew that his newist grandchild would be born, and he did not make it to see her. He wasnot sick it just happened. Its hard to believe that we will never get to see him again. My older children have a hard time understading that grandpa is gone. We didnot take tham to see him because they are to young and he wouldnot want them to remember him that way. Was I wrong for not taking them.

My dh and his mom have a real hard time dealing with the lost and its expected. Now from all the stress my MIL blood pressure has gone so high that its at stroke levels and she's only 44. My Dh is way to young to have to deal with this.

tinaruger's picture
Last seen: 3 years 7 months ago
Joined: 09/28/02
Posts: 82

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to lose a love one. Especially with a little one ready to be born and they are no longer able to seem them. First thing i want to tell you is that you are not wrong for not letting your kids go and see their grandfather. You did what you thought was best for them. I know that they may not understand and they may feel resentment but as they get older, they will understand. I went through that when my uncle died. I could not go to his funreal or see him at the hospital and I blamed my parents for a long time for it but now that I am older, i understand. Do not be so hard on yourself! As far as your MIL goes, has she seen a doctor? they may be able to give her some anti depressants until she is no longer grieving or cAn cope with with life without her loved one. My mom lost her father in November and it made her physically sick with a back ache that lasted for over 2 months. Grief can do so much to a person. Right now, she needs to feel all the love and support she can get from you. Just be ready to listen to your MIL, husband, and kids if they need to talk. Make sure that you have someone you can talk to also. I am here if you need anything.