missing mom, dad and baby

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Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
missing mom, dad and baby

Hi my name is Robin. I am new to this site, but have posted on the miscarriage site plenty of times. I am having a hard time right now. My mom died in 1987 when I was 12 years old, then my dad died in 1997 when I was 22. In June I had a m/c to a baby girl.
I feel like everyone I love goes away. The death of my daughter has brought back some horrible feelings of the death of my parents. I miss them so much and wonder what life would be like if they did not die.
I feel betrayed that they left me when they did and I am angry at God for taking them. I never had these feelings before. I don't know maybe I never really grieved them and now that I am in the process of grieving my daughter I am remembering them. All I know is that for the past two days all I do is cry. I thought I was past this in my life. I am 32 now, I should not need my mom and dad, but I want them so badly.
As for my baby I miss her to but I know I did everything I could to keep her. I just don't know how to get out of this funk that I am in. I want to be happy but something keeps pulling at me. How do you get passed the disappointment and sadness that life hands you?

Tanylisa's picture
Joined: 08/30/07
Posts: 770

Hi Robin, I'm so sorry to hear about your losses, you replied to my post and I just happened upon yours here. I also feel cheated and was angry at god for taking my parents when I still needed them, and although I'm 34, I still want and need my parents. There is so much I still wanted to ask them, and especially my mother who always had advice that made sense when nothing else did. I never really fully grieved for my mom and dad yet, my sister died in 2002 from homicide and I think, even 5 years later, that I'm still in denial that she's gone, and in order for me to deal with my parents deaths, I need to deal with hers and it's just too painful and overwhelming. I just try to take one day at a time, I can only deal with little pieces of grief right now before I push those feelings away. I wish I could be of more help, but just know your not alone (Hugs)

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Thanks it is nice to know that I am not alone and that other people feel the same. I hope we both find peace one day and that the pain is not so hard to deal with.


butterflykissesx6's picture
Joined: 06/28/07
Posts: 509

Hey there -
Just wanted to add that I feel some of the same things you are feeling.

I lost my dad, June 2005, to a brain hemmorage. He fought for his life for nearly 2 months....it was soooo hard when he left. Only 65. *sigh* I think of him every day....with a baby on the way I feel so sad that he/she will never know this WONDERFUL man. He was the best grandpa EVER.

I think we go through waves of grief, a certain date, anniversary or for me, things going bad in my life is when I think of him the most probably because he was my rock...I could go to my dad for anything. It has been hard.

(((hugs))) ~Laurene

shmyela's picture
Joined: 12/25/05
Posts: 692

I haven't posted here before (I don't think - possibly this time last year).
First - (((hugs)) I have a hard enough time dealing with the deaths of my parents, I can't imagine the pain you have now with the loss of your baby girl. (((hugs)))

And no, you are not alone.

And if it helps - I'm about to be 35 - and still cry from time to time about losing my parents - sometimes in anger/feeling cheated, sometimes in sorrow.
I keep waiting for it to feel right to 'move on' and not feel like this - especially in November (when they died) - for some reason I have it in my head that it would mean I've healed . . . but I don't know if you ever really heal from it.
Sorry so long - but no . . . you are not alone (((((hugs))))
I hope and pray we all find peace with our losses - someday.

Joined: 06/27/09
Posts: 50

Hi Robin, Welcome to this forum. I m very sorry for your horrible losses. You can trying to get another baby because it heals your grief and You will find a new hope. My friend also suffered from this situation and shes also really hurting from her baby loss.

We need our parents. We never forget them and can't live without our parents. Its so difficult for us. I understand your feelings. Be strong and move on. God always with you, don't think he take your daughter. We are nothing against Gods power.
May God Bless you.