mom's story

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mujul79's picture
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mom's story

This year: 2004

New Years Eve I got engaged and New Years Day I got a BFP. We called everyone and told them we where engaged and getting married in March. I was a happy time, and mom guessed I was prego becasue we had talked about a May wedding and now it was going to be in March. LOL neve could get much past her. I started to plan the wedding and pick out a dress. Two weeks passed and I get a phone call. Mom has a mass in her kidiney and they think it is canser her kidiney is not working but she is getting another oppion. A few days pass and I get another call mom is having surgery and I need to go home. ( I am in GA, mom is in NY)

I went home and mom had her surgery that next day. After 12 hours of wating the Dr. comes out and tells us she did well and they think they got it all, but that it was stuck in her vana cava and thats whey the 7 hour surgery ended up being 12. I cried, and called DH and told him the good news.

A few weeks passed and all test came back that moms canser was gone and she came home. And the chest x-rays where clear. I stayed in NY and finished planing the wedding and taking care of mom while DH was sitll in GA. 5 weeks after mom's surgery I married the love of my life and although mom was not feeling well she stayed till the end of the night.

We did a circle of friends thing at the end of the wedding where all our friends stood in a circle around DH and I and said somthing to us. Mom said to me. "Thankyou so much for the last month. Know you can always come home and bring anyone you want, you know little. I WILL MISS YOU MOST"
I am so lucky to have that on video. The nest day DH and I went back to GA.

5 weeks pass and I get a call. Come home ASAP mom is having surgery in the morning the canser is back and in her vana cava and hart. They are doing open hart surgery and vina cava transplant in the morning. I got to her bedside at 1am and spent the night in her room. She was not expecet to live through the surgery or without it. I spent the night watching her sleep but the best part was that my aunt worked in the houspital and brought a dopler up so mom could here my baby.

The next day was hard I could not belive we where back in that watting room again. Durring her sergery I learned that the Dr.s where refusing to do the surgery saying it would kill her but without it she was told she would live only weeks. She told them that was not an option she had a grand baby due in sept. I cried she was going thourgh all this for me adn my baby, that was a lot to deal with. Lucky for us she pulled thourgh like a champ and I stayed with her for 4 weeks until my baby shower in May.

I have pic's her her at the shower all proud sitting next to me in her wheel chair (we had the shower moved to a meating room inthe hospital so she could attend) She was so tired and went to her room after gifts and did not stay for games or food but I was lucky to have her as long as I did to enjoy the day. A few days later DH (who had come for the shower) and I went home to GA.

End of June I get a call mom has cancer in her hip and they are going to do radation on it. 10 Days of radation and her scans show it is gone, awsome news.

I just moved into a new house in July so since she had no dr.s visits until the end of July she came and spent a week with me. All she did was lay on the sofa and spend time with me in the hosue but I was happy she got to see the house, nursrey and the bedroom set she paid for as our wedding gift. I will always rember that trip.

2 weeks passed and every night I talk to her on the phone always have at 9pm since I moved out. But somthing is deffernt she keeps telling the same stories over and is acting strange that was a WED. Sat dad brought her to the ER and I get a call from her "I have a tumor in my brain" I kept asking her if I needed to come home she said no she was fine they where just going to do radation tratment on it since it was not in a place she could be opperated on.

Then the worst things started to happen she was lossing her memmory. She would call 2 or 3 times a day and tell me she had a brain tumor. It was so hard to have to hear her tell me over and not knowing she had not told me hours before. That is when I decided I had to go home. Being so prego now I was not aloud to fly so my brother came and got me from NY.

I was caring for mom at 35 weeks prego this was not easy. After taking her to 3 days of treatment and watching her get worse after evey one becasue it was taking all her strength and then she would sleep for 12 hour after we decided to stop the treatments. We knew it would be a short life now treatments or not and I wanted her to be awake as much as she could durring that time not in a coma like state from the radation and meds. After we stoped treatment she did not have to take as many meds and that was good because it was hard to get things into her. I spoon fed her and helped her back and forth to the bathroom for a week. We prayed for me to give birth soon, so she coudl see the baby.

Her memory was gone she had no short term memeory the last few days she would forget that she could no longer get out of bed to use the bathroom and had to be told each time that it was ok because I had a pad under her and I would change it. She stoped eatting too, I could get a few oz of water down her a day and maybe to suck on fruit using the baby safe feeder but that was it, no meds nothing. I just sat with her and talked to her holding her hand 24 horus a day.

I was 37 weeks and could no longer care for her alone becasue I could not lift her and that was hard for me, but doing what was best for my baby I knew I had to let others help. We asked for hospice to send a daily nurse.

The daily nurse never had to come. Mom started to have a hard time breathing that night and we gave her morphine. Witg me on one side of her and my brother on her other and dad in the room she stoped breathing and My brother felt her last hart beat min's latter. I kept telling her over and over that it was ok that she could go.

I gave bith to a wounderful baby boy 16 days later, and we named him Peter her maden name.

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Juls, I know this has been hard on you, and I am so sorry for your loss, you have had to go through so much. I don't know how you did it. You are a very strong woman. If you ever need to talk feel free to pm me or you can email me at [email]acceb437@hotmail.com[/email]. I will do whatever I can to help.

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i read all your updates everytime you posted them.. I really don't know how you did it.. You are such a strong person to be able to do that

Lizzy1216's picture
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Great big HUGS. i'm so sorry. we lost my FIL 6 days before my Isabelle was born. i understand some what of how hard that had to be. again BIgs HUgs

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I am so very sorry. Your mom sounds like an incredible lady. I know that you have memories of her to cherish. It is so hard to lose a parent. I never thought I'd feel such pain in all my life. My thoughts are with you.

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I am sorry for your loss. You are an amazing woman and your mom sounded like an amazing woman. Enjoy your baby. You are in my thoughts.

tina

mujul79's picture
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Bumping becasue I am having an I miss my mom lots type of day.

mujul79's picture
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Wow it has been months since I have been back to this board but every time I do I read this and I have the NEED to bump it. Like if I don't and it gets lost then I lose more of her. How silly is that?

rickydiculous's picture
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:bighug: you're welcome to everytime!

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I completely understand! I would do the same thing!
Lynn

mujul79's picture
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Today Peter was sitting on my lap and I told him I had to read him a story. Like I have many times in the past. I read the above and when I got to the last line he said "Me?" I said "yup you are the baby in that story and that was all the stuff your grandmother my mommy did to see you before she died. But she died and it was sad but she loved you all so much." He looked at me and said "yea it is sad, I love her too"

mujul79's picture
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I had a custom PBPD http://www.potbelliedpigdesigns.ca/home.html made in memory of mom and it is done and should be shipping tomarrow!!!



It says mom's name Lorraine above the lobster!!!

I wanted to post a few pics of right after we put moms ashes in the water. Not the best as we did it at sunset and this was after it was dark but you can get the Idea of the view of the light house we have when we visit. These are also the pics I sent to pbpd and she used for her inspiration.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...g?t=1203536815
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...g?t=1203537033

As soon as it comes I will get pics of Tessa in it.

rickydiculous's picture
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:bighug: That PBPD is cute!

ashamom27's picture
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I have tears in my eyes reading this, she fought SO hard!
Big Hugs!

mujul79's picture
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Some days it was a wold ago and others it was yesterday. Having a new baby brings me so close to her each time I wish I could experience some of my motherhood with her.

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I m very sorry for your loss. I know its very hard time for you and your are really a brave women. Your mother was amazing lady and you are too. My prayers and wishes always with you. You are in my thoughts.

mujul79's picture
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I have to get pics up I just had pics of Heath taken in that diaper and the sweater set mom made for the baby when I was expecting Peter.