My mom just passed away about 2 weeks ago. It still doesnt seem real. It was completely unexpected and a huge shock to everyone. She was only 54 and died in her sleep. when I found out I didnt want to beleive it...I thought there was a mistake or that my brother was making it up for some reason. I'm 27 and still feel like I need my mom. I wish I could call her on the phone or go and see her . I'd do anything for one last hug. I hope she knows/knew how much I love her and how much she meant to me. I keep breaking down and crying at the strangest times. Like at DS's school when I was helping in his class yesterday... I just started to cry and I couldnt stop...or last night when I made spagehtti for dinner just like my mom used to. It was my favorite and I loved when she made it for me. I made it just like she use to and I had a quick thought to call her and tell her and then I remembered that I couldnt. It's all very hard to absorb. I dont think DS really understands. He'll ask if we'll ever see her again. The last time I talked to her was 2 days before she died. She called me on my cell phone while I was visiting my brother in CT. She told me that whenever I go far away she gets a sick feeling in her stomach and she doesnt like being that far away from me. She worried that if somthing were to happen that she wouldnto me t be able to get to me. Who knew that 2 days later that somthing would happen to her and I would be far away. I feel awful too because when I was talking to her I totally blew her off and said I was busy and couldnt talk right then. If only I had known that it would be the last time we ever spoke. With mothers Day coming up and everything it makes things even harder. Right before I found out about my mom...I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom and thinking about what I'd get her for mothers day and thinking about how I needed to remind her about coming here for memorial day for a BBQ. As soon as I walked out my brother told me. I just don't know. Well, I'm sorry...Seems as if I've written a book here. Thank you so much for listening.