My brother's wife passed away in her sleep on feb 28. I am having a very har time coming to terms with this b/c she was the same age as i am, 25. She had been sick for about 4 years and in my heart I know that this way she's no longer in pain. But I am still finding it difficult to even deal with her loss. I know if I don't deal with it, one day I will have a meltdown. I hope that someone can help me.
I am so so sorry for your loss. I know what you are going through. My grandfather died in November. We watched this strong man slowly wither away to nothing from dementia. the thing that helps me cope is a couple of things. First, I think about how he was suffering and now he is with his parents, brothers and sister now. He also got to meet my baby sister for the first time. I also think about all of the good times we had together. It will be hard for you for some time but rest assured, It will get easier with each passing day.
I can relate to what you're going through. My brother's wife commited suicide in 1998 when she was 25 years old. Her and I were so close. It took me about an hour at the viewing just to get in the door. And then probably another 30 minutes to walk up to the casket just to pass out. It's so hard to lose someone who means so much to you. But I will tell you that it does get easier as time goes by.
I had a lot of guilt for the longest time because about a month before she died, she had actually told me she was so upset (My brother and her were having some problems) that she wanted to kill herself. I had talked to her for a long time about it, and in the end of our conversation, she was making sense again and had told me she wasn't serious about doing it just that she was so upset at the time. But there's so much more that went behind the story.
I hope that you are doing ok. If you ever need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to pm me or e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org