new here and dont know where to begin

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my2littlemen's picture
Joined: 09/04/05
Posts: 53
new here and dont know where to begin

hi everyone my name is lynn and i would like to share my story. i have had a few very rough years, begining in may 2002, my father died of cancer, in which i watched him suffer for many months.
my stepfather, that raised me, died in june 2004, and i watched him pass away in the hospital. after my stepfather passed, i then started caring for my mother, who had really become lost after his passing.
my mother passed away in april 2005, and i also stayed with her until she passed in the hospital. i couldnt bare to leave her alone, it was a joint decision among the four of us children to let her pass away comfortably after being very sick and giving it all she could. this was very devastating to me, and taking her off of her machines was not only painful, but i still feel like a part of me is also gone with her. i decided to post my feelings because it seems to be getting worse, with the approaching holiday, and now my sons only living grandparent and a second mother to me, is also very ill. im really looking for support from others who also feel this way, and im looking for somewhere that i can express my feelings. i still live in my mother and stepfathers home, and it feels so empty without them here. this is their home, and it doesnt feel like a home without them. with the holidays approaching, i dont know how i will cook dinner without them. this is also my first holiday season that ill be cooking turkey and ham. my parents used to do it every year. i just feel so lost, and really heartbroken.
God Bless, Lynn

Joined: 08/27/02
Posts: 2

Lynn, I'm so sorry for your losses. My father just passed away a few days ago so I am new to this board. My prayers are with you and your family during the holidays.

my2littlemen's picture
Joined: 09/04/05
Posts: 53

(hugs) sorry to hear about your father, thank you for the kind words, it feels better to share my feelings, and im hopeful that this holiday season will turn out ok. ill be celebrating this season in my mom and stepfathers old tradition sort of in rememberance of them, and im hopeful that will make it easier on everyone. god bless!

mujul79's picture
Joined: 01/22/05
Posts: 1843

I lost my mom Aug 2004. So last year was the fist year without her for the holadays. I wanted it all perfect. Cooked the things she would have, had the family over to my house. Did it up mom style. I know she would have been proud of me but this year.....

I am going to go on vacation to FL for Thanksgiving and let somone else cook. I need to start my own traditons while still holding on to her in my hart.

my2littlemen's picture
Joined: 09/04/05
Posts: 53

i agree that next yr i will start my own traditions, but i think that it makes things easier for everyone emotionally to have that piece of her for this yr. ive decieded not to make everything that she made, but add my own favorites as well. it is going to be difficult, but i am preparing myself for it, slowly. god bless

Joined: 11/12/09
Posts: 18

So sorry for your losses. I pray for them to the eternal God to keep them in entire peace and bless you and your family. Please come out of this grief as soon as possible for your health and enjoy everthing in your life . As souls never die only the they changes their bodies.