New -- My Dad is dying

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New -- My Dad is dying

Hello. I'm not sure if this is where I fit in just now or not, but I need a place to deal with everything.

My Dad has had stage 4 terminal colon cancer for 3 years. He fought hard, but he is now in his final days. Since last Friday, he's went down fast. He was talking about coming to visit the last time I spoke to him (on Friday), and yesterday (Wednesday) he was in a hospital bed on medication that keeps him asleep so he doesn't feel the pain. He isn't eating or drinking and he has a living will that says he doesn't want a feeding tube. While you can never really say, I really think we are down to just days.

It's obviously hard on me, but I also have a 12 year old brother who lives at home. Dad has always been the one he could talk to. Mom is understandably crazy right now, so he can't really talk to her either. I took him out on the porch last night and asked him if he knew what was happening. He shook his head yes. I told him it's okay to cry. He started bawling. :cry: I huged him, and we cried together. Also yesterday, he had to go with my grandma to get fitted for a suit for the funeral. How in the world does a 12 year old boy deal with that?

I'm hurting myself, but I am so concerned for my little brother. How can I help him cope? Mom is going to put him in couseling, but I also want to help him as much as I can. Dad was so worried about dying and leaving Austin. He told me to watch after him.

Thanks for listening.

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Dad passed last night (july 13) at 7:30pm at home. :cry: It was very peaceful. He just took one last breath, and went. He wasn't in any pain. I'm very very sad, but at the same time, I know he is in a better place. Sad

Meghan's_Mommy's picture
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:bighug:

We love you, Julya...and we're thinking of you.

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:bighug: I'm so sorry for your loss, and will definitely keep your family in my thoughts :(. I will look in the morning and see if I can find in my library a good book for loss of a parent.

I know ds is rather resolved about it, since he never knew his dad. But he still gets really sad sometimes.

I'll try and check in tomorrow.

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Thank you all.

I seem to be getting worse, emotionally, as the days go by instead of better. Maybe it's because the funeral is getting closer. It is tomorrow night. That will be very difficult for me.

My Dad was such a special man. He never met a stranger, and he was always so jolly with a great big smile on his face.

Here is a pic of me and Dad when I was a child:

My little brother cried and cried the first night. Since then, he has been staying at our house. He won't go home. I really think he is in a kind of denial. I think, by staying here, he can pretend everything is okay and Dad is still home. He has to go home eventually though. Pray for us.

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Your dad sounds a lot like my dad. I just wanted you to know that I'll be praying for you and your little brother and family. My dad died May 3rd of this year and it seems like the second month was the worst. If you ever want to talk please feel free to PM me.

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I am so sorry for your loss.

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I am so sorry to hear about your loss, I am currently going through the same thing. My grandfather has just been diagnosed with a terminal illness, kidney cancer after he was non responsive to all the treatments. I will pray for you and your family. :bigarmhug:

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I'm late seeing this, but please know that you've got a wonderful support group here. :bighug: Please drop by anytime you need to "talk".

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I wanted to say I am very sorry to hear about your loss. I am 24yrs old and lost my dad 2 yrs ago VERY UNEXPECTEDLY. He was 53yrs old and collapsed on a golf course when he was golfing w/ friends. He never regained consciousness and we had him on life support for a day and a half. The dr.s gave him no hope of surviving b/c his brain was swelling b/c of the lack of oxygen. He had a massive heart attack b/c of an irregular heart beat which he/ we never knew about. The cappy thing was that he was just at the dr.'s office for a full physical a month before. His death was truely a shock to everyone since he was one of the healthiest people I know. (Heck! He was probably healthier than me.)

I miss him everyday and the way that helps me get through his death is to tell my stories about him. I don't like to think of him as gone, but rather that he is up at our (ex)cottage where he loved to be all the time.

I just wanted to say that I am sorry and I know what you all are going through. It isn't easy for me or anyone else that losses a parent. I am just sorry that my dad wasn't able to walk me down the aisle and watch me get married or see my choldren. But I kow he will be able to see them and I know he was with me the day I got married (I made sure of it with pics of him and a memorial at my wedding). I also have pics of him all over my house so I feel that he is watching me here too. Just make sure you make time for you to grieve and deal with your dad's death and talk about it to the ones that support you. Please feel free to talk to me anytime: [email]equestsarah81@hotmail.com[/email]

Again, I am sorry for your loss..... :bighug:

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I am really late seeing this, but want to offer you some more :bigarmhug:. It is so hard to loose a parent. It has been 3 years since loosing my dad. My thoughts are with you.

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Its really hard time for you and difficult to deal with your grief. I m very sorry for you going through this situation. I know its the serious problem for your father. I m really worried heard about your brother.
You have to take weight of your family on your shoulders after death of your father. Its your first responsibility. I think your father depressed from the tension of your younger brother. You should going to grief counseling group. This is the best way to deal with your all problems and grief. I hope its really helpful to you and also for your brother. You give console to your father.
Parents are responsible for children future but now he is in critical situation.
Now you need to be strong and give console to your family because you are older son of this family. Never loose your hope. I pray to God for you and for your family.
(((((((((((HUGS FOR YOU))))))))))