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  1. #1
    Posting Addict rickydiculous's Avatar
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    Default Our Stories

    I'm editting this post to include everyone. Feel free to share your story here. Sometimes just talking about it helps.

    Teresa

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    Posting Addict rickydiculous's Avatar
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    Default Post from previous board

    2002-02-16

    My name is Teresa and it is coming up to the one year mark on my husband, Richard's death. We have a son who is now 2 named Ricky.

    My husband died from a heart attack while he was driving.... he had pulled over onto a side street and passed out in the car....by the time he was discovered and rushed to hospital he could not be revived and he had respiratory failure.

    In the past year I have had much anger... blaming myself for not taking care of him better, blaming him for not taking care of himself better, blaming myself for letting him go out that night.... but I have since learned that the anger only hurts me more and that it's pretty futile because it's not going to bring him back. I know he loved me and his son and I love him to no end, but he is gone now and I'll have to wait to hug him in my dreams.

    Please share your stories those of you who belong on this board. We are here to support you in your time of need, celebrate with you as you pass the milestones with strength, and cry with you as your strength falters. Death of a spouse is a pretty difficult journey to take, but with guidance and support from others who understand and empathize, hopefully it will be a little easier.
    My Guardian Spirit Richard 03/18/57 - 02/18/01
    "Life is hard, it's harder if you're stupid"

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    I'm sorry to hear this Teresa, I didn't know you were a widow. I know he is still with you in spirit but I know you long to hold him again. I just by chance saw this addy of the gifted children board and came to visit. My dh is still living but I think I take him for granted sometimes...thanks for opening my eyes

    {{{{HUGS}}}}}
    Marya~host of Multi-Racial/Cutural bb

    Muny age 14, Katie age 10, Kendyl age 8, ^Korionna Jolie 1998^ Korbyn age 3, & ^Kathryn Devine October 15 2004^

    James Carl Shelby 1930-12/27/04 RIP my precious grandfather....I will always love you!
    James Carlton Plum 1922-4/20/04 RIP my precious grandfather (adopted)....I will always love you!

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    Posting Addict rickydiculous's Avatar
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    Kokemuma, thanks for posting. That's very sweet of you. I know that my Richard is with me whenever I need him, but occasionally I just wish I could get a hug.

    But I am thankful for the greatest gift that any person could share.... my son.

  5. #5
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    Default Death of my Fiance

    I came across this site as i was doing a search on how to deal with the loss of my fiance. Today makes exactly one month since he passed away. He was 27 yrs old and had lupus with kidney failure. He was on dialysis. The acess site for his dialysys was going bad and the doctors felt that he had a new one placed in his arm. He was resistive to have this procedure done. I begged him to do it so that he would stop having bleeding problems after each dialysis session. He agreed. They put a temporary acess catheter in his chest which began to bleed 7 hours later. This was suppose to be an outpatient procedure. The doctors could not get the blood to clot so he was admitted overnight. At about 2:30 am April 1, 2004, he was taken to emergency surgery to have the catheter removed. After that he continued to bleed and ultimatly had to have a tube placed to help him breathe since he was bleeding eternally. 24 hours later he was dead. I was told that the blood was surpresseing one major vein in his chest that caused him to have a heart attack.
    I am devasted. We were together for 10 months. I was 7 months pregnant at the time of his death with his son. I am still pregnant and the baby is healthy despite my emotional condition. Our relationship was shakey but in the last months, we had worked through all the issues and had set a second wedding date and focused on our future. I am trying to be strong in order to bring this baby in this world. It is so difficult. All I can think about is the time we wasted being irritated with each other or arguing. The last images I have is the last breaths that he took with me holding him.
    I don't know how to get passed this and not feel guilty for making him have the procedure done. We could have had more days or maybe one more month but at the time I thought that it was the best thing at the time. I know that God has a plan and even though from my religion's perspective we were living in sin and shacking up and having premarital sex. We created a son because the lord knew that his daddy would not be here and now this is his legacy. Ultimately I have no regrets but I just need to get rid of this guilt I still feel...

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    Posting Addict rickydiculous's Avatar
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    Hi, kulinroli,

    Welcome to the site, and welcome to the board. I do hope you come back. Although it's rather quiet on this board, I find it quite helpful to write down and share in how I am feeling. For the longest time I felt a lot of guilt (and often I still do) about how I could have helped my DH with a better lifestyle so he wouldn't have had a heart attack.

    But am now after 3 years finally coming to peace that I really couldn't have done anything; it was his life. And in your case, ultimately it was his decision, I'm sure he was in as much pain over the procedures as you were in watching him have them done. Guilt after your beloved's death is just another step one must get through, you will do it, and as with everything, it will take time.

    I hope you will return to this site... I have found a nice little community on a bunch of the boards here.. but when I need that time to reflect, I come back here and hope even if there aren't that many posters, that if someone reads these boards and is my position, that I will have helped in some unseen way.

    and best of luck with your new baby. You'll see, when he/she is born, suddenly you will have a constant reminder of your love for each other.
    My Guardian Spirit Richard 03/18/57 - 02/18/01
    "Life is hard, it's harder if you're stupid"

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    Peace be with you girls and peace be upon your loved one who have left so early.
    They are still with you and love you.
    take care,
    joie

  8. #8
    Posting Addict rickydiculous's Avatar
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    Default



    New changes are coming to these boards and there's a chance of losing some threads, so I'm bumping the ones that are pretty old.

  9. #9
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    Default Thank You

    Well, you're not the only one anymore. I'm so glad that I found this part of this site.

    I'm relatively new to pregnancy.org, but that's only because I'm just 13 weeks pregnant (my due date is 30 Sept). In all the happiness that surrounds this time in a persons life, I find it difficult to not be enveloped by sadness. My husband of 6 months was killed when he lost control of the tractor trailer he was driving on March 3. He was an excellent driver, and no one really knows why he lost control. But he did.

    I would welcome the chance to chat with anyone who needs comforting. I know that I'm going through this for a reason - I just don't know the reason. I'm looking forward to holding my baby in my arms - the last and most perfect gift my husband gave to me.

    Thanks,
    Sincerely,
    Sarah Ewald
    Glenwood, AR
    Getting ready for round 2

  10. #10
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    Sarah Hi, I'm Jennie. I lost my husband August 4th 2004 to a rare form of cancer. Some days it still feels raw and fresh, other times it feels like years ago. I was left with a 3 year old daugher (jordan) and an 18 month old son (James Jr, we call him JD). Jordan is now 4 and JD just turned 2.
    Teresa is a great person and a wonderful comfort. Feel free to post here or PM either of us if U want something private. "T" has helped me to know that some of the things I have gone through was "not just me".
    I'm hoping you can find more happiness in this pregnancy and I am so sorry for your loss.
    (((HUGS)))
    Jennie mom to Jordan 1/01 and JD 3/03
    Married Best friend James 6/27/92, lost him 8/4/04


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