Here is my story, sorry it took me so long to post about all this. Up until now I didn't really have the courage to do so.
In the last few years I have lost numerous people that have been close to me. Almost 2 years ago I lost my grandpa to a long, hard battle with cancer. I know he is not in pain anymore but it still hurts. We were so close and my little girl was his pride and joy. He never got to see my son, I was 6 months pg with Lane when he passed. I still think about him on a daily basis and I know my daughter does too. I catch her looking in his old chair when we are at my grandma's house, she will look at it and say papa, and she just gets this huge grin on her face.
Since then I have also lost my great grandma, an uncle, and an aunt. But even those weren't as hard as the last.
Last month, I lost my best friend. She was 19 a few years younger than me, she still had a full life to live. She had a liver transplant last year and her body never adjusted to the new liver and she was always in the hospital. I still can't really talk about what happened without bursting out in tears. I miss her so much. She was so good with the kids and they loved her to death. She was on life support for that last day and a half, and on the last day they were going to take her off the machines, but she didn't let them. She died 10 minutes before they were suppost to turn the machines off.
It was 3 weeks after the death of my 6 year old daughter that I found out I was pregnat with my 3rd child.
I am a single mother, 26 years old. My oldest daughter, Alisha passed away on October 6th to a super bacterium that sent her into toxic shock. She lived a live full of doctors, procedures and surgeries. Alisha was born 7 weeks premature with a birth defect called Gastroschisis. She ultimatly recieved a stomach, pancreas, liver and small intestional transplant when she was 8 months old. It was October 4th and she came down with what I thought was the flu. By the 6th of October, her heart just couldnt hold out any longer and she succumbed to the infection in her blood. It has been hard on me and my 4 year old, Carlee but we are taking it day by day. I have hope after learning I am now carrying a child. There is a bit of grey area when it comes to the father of this child. I guess I am just looking for a place to relate, to vent, to share stories and meet people. I know it is going to be hard and I am extremly scared. I also know Carlee and I will be ok, that this baby will be ok. I am due June 24th, 2007. Anyway I look forward to getting to know you all, I think this will be good for me.
I shared my story last year with the other board I'm on here, but now am hesitant to put it on the web in case anyone is looking for it . . . my parents were murdered many years ago - that's about as general as I can make it and still provide some information.
If you would like me to share more information, pm me and I will - it seems only fair since I have read your stories.
((((hugs)))) for all of us dealing with loss.
Well, unlike you, my fiance did not die, but my mom did. My mom died on July 24, 2006. She was 52 years old. I was 16 years old. She was diagnosed with breast cancer during the summer of 2000. She had three surgeries, chemotherapy, and radiation. She wanted to live to see me graduate from high school, and college, and get married and have children. I know she loved me and my sister, and that she tried really hard to be there for us. I will always love my mom. I still miss her every day, especially now that I had a miscarriage. I wish she could have been there to hold me, but I know that she was looking down on me from heaven.
My daughter was 3 months old when my son was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor that mesastasized to his spine. My son had surgery and was started on very agressive chemo. He was on treatment for 11 months and I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was reluctant to seek treatment but had too a month later. After all I had a hubby, son and daughter to live for. My son lost his battle 3 months later on February 20th 2003. I miss him so much. I have a huge void in my heart and wish he was here. I am a cancer survivor as well, just hit 5 year mark.