Question for those who've suffered a loss

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Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
Question for those who've suffered a loss


My 16 year old cousin died this previous Friday in a car accident. She was my Aunt Anne & Uncle Randy's only child, because they found out after having her that they couldn't have any more. Needless to say, they are having a very rough time of things.

While I was growing up, "Auntie Anne" was my absolute favorite aunt, and I was always at her side. There are more pictures of her holding 3-year-old me at her wedding, than of her and Randy. While my heart cries for her, I can't even imagine what she is going through.

My husband and I are expecting our first child in April. We are considering using my cousin's name, Allyssa, as the middle name if our child is born a girl. We would like to ask Anne and Randy first before doing this however. How and/or when should we broach this topic with them? Any thoughts?


Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I really think she would be honored to have you name your DD after her DD.

I had a son die 3 months ago and my MIL had a DD die when she was 3 days old and DH was 2 years old. We had always talked about naming our daughter Katie after her but thought that would be too hard on MIL because she is the type that swept it under the rug for many years. When our son died DH told her that we thought about naming a DD Katie and she said that would be really nice! So if we have another girl her name will be Katie Alexandra after DD's sister that died and our son's middle name (Alexander) that died.


augusta26's picture
Joined: 08/05/05
Posts: 158

I would ask them if you can honor your cousin by naming your baby after her. Tell them they don't have ot answer right away, if they want to think about it. SOme people feel funny baout it, some people don't. But make sure you ask them in a no-pressure way.

Grieving people can have unpredictable reactions.

Joined: 11/12/09
Posts: 18

I am very sorry for the death of your cousin in car accident. It is very difficult and critical time for your Aunt and Uncle. I think you must help them and serve them as they have no child further. It is good idea to name your baby like the name of your cousin.