I just read you story. I had to say that your sister and my mom had the same B-days. How was it when it came up for you?
AUG 26 last year was the day my baby was a day old but this year was so much harder. My baby was not a NB baby, my mom had not seen his last year or any years to come. The worst part was I forgot her b-day is in my phone so the day started with a phone call telling me it was her birthday when realy it was not somthing I wanted to cellabrate her not making it to. She would have been 51. She passes away 16 days before her 50th last year.
I'm so sorry, your wound is still so fresh.. Only one year. The first Birthday is so hard. Every time my sister's B'day rolls around I think about where she would be in her life, would we be celebrating it together? ect. She is forever 17 in my mind but no matter how old I become, she is still my older sister.
There are times throughout the year when we are reminded of our loved ones.. Their Birthday, Their "Angel Day" (the day the passed away) and any other significant day such as a family tradition.. We remember them everyday, every moment of our lives but they really stick out in our mind on these particular days. People will tell me, "She wouldn't want you to dwell on her, you should be doing something that makes you happy" Well, it does make me happy to do things for my sister. I love taking her flowers, taking her a special card or just sitting in the grass beside her and reflecting. This is healthy in my mind. The only advice I would give you is to follow your heart. Do not base your actions on what others think is appropriate or "normal". You will deal with your mothers passing in a unique way, as we all do. It is important to focus on your living family and enjoy them thoroughly, but it is just as important to maintain the friendship and love that you shared with your mother.
I apologize for the ramble.. I hope your Mother's Birthday was a peaceful day for you. If you ever need to talk, please feel free to PM me. Take care, I will pray for you.