Today was hard.

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Joined: 05/05/03
Posts: 47
Today was hard.

This was the first Thanksgiving without my grandpa. I really miss him and it just wasn't the same. In tradition my grandpa always said the blessing before we ate and he wasn't there to do it. I also had some film developed today that I had no idea what was on it. When we got the pictures back there were pictures of my grandpa and Paige right after my grandma started chemo treatments. I haven't had the strength to share the story about him yet but I think I do now, so I am going to share it.

A few years ago my grandpa was diagnosed with lung cancer and went through numerous chemo and radiation treatments. He went through this for about a year. Paige (dd) was the light of his life. He wanted to spend every possible moment with her and it really hurt him when he couldn't hold her. After a lot of treatments, the cancer was gone and things were looking better. My grandpa was going to get to see my son. So I thought. A few months later the cancer was back and it had spread all over his body before they could catch it. He was give 6 months to live. He spent the last few months in and out of the hospital and was getting weaker by the day. We would sneak Paige into the hospital to see him and it always made him feel better. June 23 my SIL came to my house and woke me up and said that we needed to get to the hospital. My aunt had called and said that my grandpa wasn't doing so good. When we got there he couldn't wake up but I know he knows we were there. I went in and sat with him talking to him for a while and he squeezed my hand to let me know he knew. The doctor came in and out a few times. About an hour and a half after we got there we were sitting outside with my grandma and one of the nurses said we needed to come in. We ran to the room and they explained that his heart was slowing and his body was shutting down. It wouldn't be much longer. Me, my grandma and my aunt sat on the bed and told him goodbye and that we loved him. A few minutes later he quit breathing and a few minutes after that the doctor came in and told us that his heart had stopped and that he was gone. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. I have lost people before, but no one ever that close. Exactly 3 months later, On September 23 my son was born. My grandpa never got to see him. I wish Paige could know how much she meant to him but she was only 8 months old. He was a great man.
Thanks for letting me share my story.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Becky I am so sorry. I know how hard the holidays can be. And how hard it is to watch someone you love leave you. I was by my dads side when he left us. This was my second Thanksgiving without him and it is still very hard. BIG HUGS hon. If you need someone to talk to I am here for you.

tinaruger's picture
Joined: 09/28/02
Posts: 82

I am so sorry. your story really hit home. I am glad that you were able to be there with your grandfather when he died. I am confident that next thanksgiving will be a little easier. the "firsts" are always the hardest. Thank you for sharing your story.


Joined: 05/05/03
Posts: 47

Thanks, This was the first time I have really been able to talk about it. It's helped a lot. Just knowing that I have people like you guys to talk to helps. Thanks again.