My story is long. I will try to make it short. In a nutshell...
My dad turned 50 in June. He was diagnosed iwth cancer of the lungs when our baby was 1 week old. He died exactly 2 months later. On my 30th birthday no less. They gave him approx 1 year he lasted 2 months. I secretly think there is more to it than is beign told. He was married to his wife for 8 months. I have always been daddys girl. I'm seriously thinking I need therapy or admitted to a psych hospital. I go on these screaming and crying to where I am hysterical and hyperventilating with the urge to run from myself thinking he's going to call or come through the door. But I know he's not. I get so sick I literally throw up. I have all these things of his around the house. I really just need to talk to someone. I can't hardly put it online how I REALLY feel for fear someone I know will see it and things get back to one place or another and people start fighting. I just feel alone and not comfortable with the whole thing.
Would you bug bomb a house if someone had cancer there? And was on radiation and chemo? 3 days later he would die? Is that normal.
i'm a hysterical person. WHAT DO I DO. I have no dad, he's gone. Who am I goign to call, who am I going to run to, look up to. WHAT DO I DO. WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT, oh god I need help.
Have you sought any counselling? When my DH passed, it was counselling that kept me sane, and probably saved my life. When one experiences a profound loss, a grief counsellor is definitely beneficial. And he/she may be able to help you answer the questions you have.
Feel free to PM me if you want to speak privately.
Im so sorry about your dad. My dad and I were also close and he has been gone for 5 years now. I would cry everyday because I missed him so much. It may help you to talk to a counselor. It does get easier to deal with over time. I hope you feel better soon.
I am so sorry for your loss. My dad and mom died 10 years apart from eachother. My mom in 1987 and my dad in 1997. I was very close to my dad. I helped him through his chemo and was his caregiver. I was also with him when he took his last breath. It does get easier, however I just lost my daughter to a m/c and all the loss feelings have flooded back to me. I miss them more now then ever before. I am in counseling and on medication for anxiety and depression. You really should find someone to talk to it may help.
I am thinking about you.
I m so sorry for your loss. I think its horrible loss for you because we love our parents. I know you can't forget your father. My friend's mother died with cancer and hes also suffer from same situation like you.
I tried to console him but hes crying all the time. I also suggest you for be strong and move on because life is very long and don't be depressed. My prayers with you.
May God bless you.