Will I ever be able to live a normal life?
After the car accident, my whole world was turned upside down, and I honnestly don't know how to cope with the loss of my son, or with the loss of my SO. I wish I could put on a smile, and atleast pretend that I'm gonna be fine, but, I can't. I'm not normal anymore. I've been using alcohol and drugs to avoid dealing with everything,when, in the end, it only makes everything worse for me.
But, nothing is normal. Even though all of Trenton's things are packed and put away in storage, and I'm living with my parents now(for the time being) there ares till constant reminders. My parents haven't taken down pictures of him(which, I don't want them to do, but that's one). If I see babies his age, I cry, I look at my stretch-mark filled stomache, and realize that, he'S gone now, if I'm in wal-mart, I automatically still go to the Baby section, and try to remember what Trent needs, and then break down crying when I realize, he's gone. It can be very embarrassing at times.
And with my SO, his friends come around, which remind me of him, and I haven't gotten the strength to take off my engagement ring yet.
I'm going crazy.