Time outs

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Time outs

Are you using them yet? I will on occasion, but my girls still don't really know what it means, so it is more that I put myself in time out rather than them. Biggrin

We are working on counting with the girls, so that we can start using 1-2-3 Magic. I will admit that managing both girls behavior is very daunting. I struggle with it daily. The fights and jealousy are hard to deal with some days.

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Right now we have the "time out" chair in our house. So far it seems to be working, I guess. Usually Z just cries when he's in time out and tends to let himself out of time out so I have to put him back. It's seriously like Super Nanny and the "naughty step". HOWEVER, when Lexi is throwing her fits she goes straight to her room to cool off instead of going to time out.

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We haven't yet but I know it's close! I did 1-2-3 Magic with my girls but I'm hoping to figure out something else this time around. Nothing against it, it certainly works but it drove me mad that they'd wait until the last possible second (2!) to stop what they were doing. We'll see, I still have the book...maybe I need to reread it.

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We use time out to some degree. He kind of just sits there and cries but it does seem to provide a source of redirection.

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"mandi04" wrote:

We haven't yet but I know it's close! I did 1-2-3 Magic with my girls but I'm hoping to figure out something else this time around. Nothing against it, it certainly works but it drove me mad that they'd wait until the last possible second (2!) to stop what they were doing. We'll see, I still have the book...maybe I need to reread it.

My DH hates that too. I just have to remind him that kids will test limits. Yes, it is annoying that they wait until 2 to stop the behavior a lot of the time, but I find it keeps the arguing and frustration down. I think it also provides kids with consistency that is hard to do otherwise. They know what comes next after you start counting. There is no wondering what mommy or daddy is going to say next or how many times they can push the same behavior. They know they can only push it so far and then the hammer drops. You can even move big kids into losing privileges and not using time outs any more. That is where we are with DS. We also use timers and such for "start" behaviors. We just have to be more consistent with my DS again. We have gotten lax.

Honestly, I love that I can hold my finger up and not say a word. Isaiah knows exactly what it means and most of the time he will pull himself together and stop. Sometimes, I have to hold up two fingers. However, it is so much better than a power struggle. Oh, and I love that I can use it in public and rarely say a word or raise my voice.

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"melnzai" wrote:

My DH hates that too. I just have to remind him that kids will test limits. Yes, it is annoying that they wait until 2 to stop the behavior a lot of the time, but I find it keeps the arguing and frustration down. I think it also provides kids with consistency that is hard to do otherwise. They know what comes next after you start counting. There is no wondering what mommy or daddy is going to say next or how many times they can push the same behavior. They know they can only push it so far and then the hammer drops. You can even move big kids into losing privileges and not using time outs any more. That is where we are with DS. We also use timers and such for "start" behaviors. We just have to be more consistent with my DS again. We have gotten lax.

Honestly, I love that I can hold my finger up and not say a word. Isaiah knows exactly what it means and most of the time he will pull himself together and stop. Sometimes, I have to hold up two fingers. However, it is so much better than a power struggle. Oh, and I love that I can use it in public and rarely say a word or raise my voice.

What comes next??? When I do "1-2-3" if they don't stop by 3 they go to time out. Just curious what your, "after 3" is.

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"MrsRiggert" wrote:

What comes next??? When I do "1-2-3" if they don't stop by 3 they go to time out. Just curious what your, "after 3" is.

When DS was little it was a time out. Now that he is almost 8, it is the loss of TV or video game time during the week. 1-2-3 Magic is time out oriented, but they do discuss other things you can do with older kids.

Do you all have a designated time out spot in your house? We do not. DS just knew that he was to sit where directed and be quiet. Usually it was on the stairs, but sometimes it was in a corner.

I have a feeling that with the twins, we will need two designated time out spots in every room. :shock:

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We have the "time out chair" which sits in the same spot in the dining room at all times. Except the few times Zayne or Lexi tries to move it in an attempt to get out having to do time outs. (yes, they hide the chair and say they can't do time out)

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We also have a designated time out spot, it's kind of between the two main rooms where we spend most of the day. But if we're in their bedroom or at my parents house, I have just designated a spot for them to sit in time out. I also find it very hard to manage the boys behavior. I have 123 Magic and read through it once when they were younger, but I should read it again as a refresher. Usually the boys will cry and try to escape from time out, so I have to sit there and gently but firmly hold them in. I dont know if that does any good or not, but it does redirect them!

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With the girls they had a chair in their room that was designated for time outs. I'm thinking when we start them we're just going to have him stand in a corner in whatever room we are in, facing the wall. I think that's the only way I could supervise and make sure he's doing what he needs to be doing since there are now 3 other kids that need various things too. Plus in the next few months we'll be moving the boys into the same room, so I can't do it in his room in case Isaiah's napping when he needs a time out and we have NO room for anything time out specific in our living room or dining room

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So far all I've done with her time out is sit her on the chair/ couch or in my lap to get her to calm down. For the most part she's a really good kid, her out breaks are never really bad that I need to put her in a Time out.