This is such a weird feeling for me. I have always loved Christmas time and it was even that much more special last year when we had Olivia. Lately, every time I hear Christmas music (super excited for Michael Buble's new Christmas album) or think about Christmas I get super sad yet super happy at the same time. It's the craziest feeling. It's like I'm on a yoyo, super happy at one moment and then super sad the next. I guess a big part of me is wondering if I will ever be as happy as I was last Christmas when I had Olivia. Is that crazy? I know Christmas will be amazing this year with Olivia (she loves ripping paper and boxes ) but what if last year was the high point? It makes me so sad to think about that. What if I never that happy again?