So, I really don;t want to bring down my coworkers (who think I am overreacting and it is all hormonal) and family (we are all dealing with alot right now). I really need to "talk", but no I feel like I can't, and I don;t want to break down in front of DD3. I know you guys will understand....and hopefully have some advice....
So in addition to the baby "maybe" being small (which, I am surprisingly not overly worried about at this point). My dad has been really ill. He has a very rare form of cancer (only 400 known cases worldwide). It has been up and down with him, but there are really no more options available for him. He just started taking an experimental drug to help prolong his life, but there is no more hope of cure: the transplants did not work,.
He was admitted to ICU on Monday. He had almost no blood pressure, pnemonia (which is usually what kills a cancer patient), blood clots in his legs, and his heat keeps racing at dangerous levels- this is the main worry right now. He has been transferred intho the Heart Pavilion ICU (we are blessed to live near one of the supposed top "20" heart hospitals in the country). They are trying to figure out why his heart is doing this.
Basically, the prevailing thory is that there is so much going on in his body, that it doensn't know what to do and if "freaking ount". The "old" medicine is still in him, along with "new" medicine (the experimental one that may be causeing the heart issues, we don;t know), the radiation, and now pnemonia. They removed half a lung full of fluid from his lung.
The doctor called me Monday morning, estatic because he survived the night. (He was not expected to). They are still housing the crash cart in his room, just in case.
Daddy has called his sister, which is a big deal (he did not want people to know he was sick). He says this is the end. With that attitde it probably is, but who can blame him? He is still very faint and not "with it" alot of the time due to his very low blood pressure.
So here I am pregnant, and afraid my Daddy will never meet his newest Grandaughter. DH is taking off this afternoon to watch DD so I can go see Daddy (kids are not allowed in ICU), if it's not too late. I still have to call to make sure they will let a pregnant lady in. I don't know what to say to him. What am I going to tell my DD? She is only three and I don't know what to tell her. (She thinks my Dad hung the moon). I just want to go home and cry, but I come to work to at least keep me busy.
And everyone thinks it's "just my hormones".......
thanks for 'listening', if you made it this far!