Dipping My Toes In...

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verdouxkai's picture
Last seen: 10 months 2 weeks ago
Joined: 03/05/07
Posts: 827
Dipping My Toes In...

Hi guys, I don't know if anyone here remembers me, I've been kind of off of pg.org for almost a year now...so here's my re-introduction.

I'm Amanda, I'm 30, and DH Brad is 31. We started TTC in 2007...and we've been trying off and on since. I had a m/c in late 2009 with a blighted ovum, and then a chemical pregnancy nearly a year ago. After that I needed a break.

At the same time, DH decided to go back to school. He was miserable in his job, we had moved to the DFW area for him to take a job that just wasn't working out. He had been dreaming about finishing his psychology degree for years, so I told him to go for it now or never. The fun part is that he had to move back to where we were living previously (150 miles away), because the credits from him going to school before would not transfer (private Christian school) anywhere here without adding 2 years+ to the time-line. I had in the meantime found my dream job here in DFW...so we decided to live apart while he finished up. I'm not alone, I'm living with my brother. DH should be done with school in December, then he'll move back here and we'll find our own place.

Throw in there the fact that our house never sold, and money got tighter and tighter last year, so we had to file for bankruptcy. Let's just say 2010 was a crazy mess of a stressful year. I had no interest in TTC, and my eating got crazy, which is not good for PCOS. I gained a bunch of weight, and started drinking more than I usually do. Nothing crazy, but noticeable.

Fast forward to January. My sweet little nephew finally lost his battle to cancer on January 1, 2011. He would have been 5 on January 31st. This event, coupled with other things that had already been on my mind, somehow snapped me out of my depression that I had been in (but don't think I had really admitted to myself), and I felt like really trying to "live" again. I started a strict diet and exercise plan, and have lost 34 pounds since January.

I realized a few weeks ago that I am about 10 pounds or so away from where I was in 2007 when I actually started getting AF on my own...those with PCOS know that that's a pretty big deal. So, the baby thoughts have started creeping back in my mind...

I don't know how often I'll be on, I got so obsessive about TTC before, and I don't want to jump back in to a cycle of hopes and disappointments this time. DH and I aren't even going to be trying in earnest until June...but I am starting to monitor cycles and use Provera to induce AF when I'm supposed to be having it. My first priority right now is to get healthy and make a baby-friendly body for when we start trying...

Sorry to verbally vomit on here. Like I said I don't know if anyone will even remember who I am, I just wanted to maybe dip my toes back in the water and get ready to plunge in soon...

:goodluck: to everyone, I hope that we all can share our love with a precious one soon.

turtnjay's picture
Last seen: 4 years 1 month ago
Joined: 02/24/09
Posts: 2095

I remember you! Glad your back and feeling better about life and it's ups and downs.

Congrats on your weight loss and I really hope AF starts on her own for you.

{{{{big hugs}}}} to you and your family for your loss.

natelukesmom's picture
Last seen: 3 years 5 months ago
Joined: 02/08/09
Posts: 538

Hi Amanda,
I do remember you! Sounds like it was a bumpy ride in 2010. My 2010 was tough too. I really hope 2011 is better for us! Is it hard living away from your Dh? I couldnt do that so I give you props girl!

yipeeladybug's picture
Last seen: 3 years 4 months ago
Joined: 01/18/06
Posts: 1214

Amanda!!! I missed you! I was wondering how you are doing. *hugs* I'm so sorry you've had such a difficult 2010, but wow! I am so inspired by what you have been able to do....esp with the weight loss! I hope to be like you, I need to lose a little myself!

I'm so happy to see you back here on pg.org. And it's understandable, we are always here for you, but if you need time away, it's totally cool.

reneakelly's picture
Last seen: 3 years 7 months ago
Joined: 06/22/02
Posts: 154

Hi Amanda big hugs to you. Im sorry you had such a rough year and the loss of your nephew I cant imagine. I am glad to see you back. I hope and pray you get your sticky bean soon. And yes I remember you.

Aggiegirl06's picture
Last seen: 4 years 10 hours ago
Joined: 03/31/09
Posts: 567

AMANDA!! So glad you are back!!!!!!!

:wavehello: :wavehello: :wavehello: :wavehello: :wavehello: :wavehello: :wavehello:

SnowWhite9028's picture
Last seen: 8 months 4 weeks ago
Joined: 08/10/08
Posts: 738


Amanda!!! I've been wondering about you! You haven't updated us here in forever! I've missed you friend! :bighug: Congrats on losing 34lbs! Yahoo That's amazing! Can't wait to cheer you on to your BFP! Smile

Lizbet22's picture
Last seen: 1 year 7 months ago
Joined: 04/01/09
Posts: 2859


That is some journey you've been on....well done on pulling through everything and coming out the other side...stronger then ever!!
I too have missed you massively as I already said in PM.

I truly hope your BFP doesn't keep you waiting.

Love you sweetheart.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Last seen: 2 years 10 months ago
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859

I remember you! Welcome back and CONGRATS on the 34 lb weight loss! I would love to hear what kind of diet and exercise program you used Biggrin

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your nephew... :bigarmhug:

Does your DH ever get to come see you, even for just a weekend?

JuneorJulyBaby?'s picture
Last seen: 4 years 10 months ago
Joined: 10/20/08
Posts: 2479

Hi Amanda! Congrats on your weight loss and I hope that your body kicks it into gear and you get preggo right away Smile GOOD LUCK!

raingirl28's picture
Last seen: 2 years 11 months ago
Joined: 09/03/07
Posts: 1347

*hugs* after a crazy 2010 and early 2011! Welcome back!!

Congrats on the 34lbs weight loss!! What's your secret because that is awesome, especially with PCOS where I hear it can be hard to lose!

Since you've been trying a while - come and mingle over at the TTC 2+ years board. Liz has revived it and we are becoming a happening little bunch over there. Smile

verdouxkai's picture
Last seen: 10 months 2 weeks ago
Joined: 03/05/07
Posts: 827

Wow such a response! I'm so happy to see some familiar faces!

I'm trying to remember all the questions, so if I forget something please remind me, lol.

As for the weight loss, I'm actually following a pretty strict plan. Since I don't have many distractions these days (no husband to tempt me with bad foods, and my brother is always out of the house with friends or his GF), it's easier to stick to than it would otherwise be! My basic rules are to have no more than 1200 calories per day, and work out for at least 45-60 minutes each day.

I have thrown in some other rules of my own to try and combat the PCOS and just for general healthiness. No processed flours, pastas, etc, and just for kicks - no red meats for now.

Of course I deviate sometimes, but not much. Like I mentioned I think it's easier for me because I have no distractions, and having this program to follow keeps my mind busy and motivated. My main goal is to do this without investing any money (mainly because I have non to spare, lol!) on diet gimmicks, gym memberships, etc. The most I've spent was this last week buying a swimsuit to go lane swimming. Wink

Let's see...oh for DH and I, yes we do see each other regularly. Last year we were going back and forth every weekend, but since gas prices have gone up, we usually see each other for a weekend every 2 weeks. We trade off on who goes to see who each visit. He'll be here Friday, I can't wait to see him! I think I have it a little easier than he does right now, I've made some great friends up at work, and of course I live with my brother, so I'm not alone too much...he's not one to go out and socialize with people he meets at school, so he feels a bit lonely more often. Lol, we've been together since I was 14...married for 12 years in August, so we are both kinda fish out of water without each other.

Let's see, I think that's actually it, I can't remember if someone else asked anything else, lol. I am happy to be back at least partially, I am almost ready to try this mess again, ever since I started thinking about it the other week, I am getting a little more excited about trying again. I know we were meant to be parents, and I know that when the time is right it will happen. Biggrin