L+D... what will you do with siblings at home?

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L+D... what will you do with siblings at home?

I just started thinking about this!

My parents live two hours away, and DH's live 4 hours away. Luke will go to my landlady's house when we leave for the hospital.

I plan on taking full advantage of the two days I get in the hospital after the birth. Our women's center is like a hotel, its fabulous. Those two days, just me and the new baby, are the best! My DH will be able to take the whole week off as well.

My mom offered to take Luke for the first week... and I'm really considering that!! Our house is too small to have any extra guests, and the help would be GREAT!!!!!

my MIL has offered but she is a teacher and will still be in school. I'm glad honestly!! I do strive to be patient with her... but she makes me BONKERS!!!

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My mom lives really close by so she will watch DS while I am in labor - either in the waiting room or somewhere nearby. While I'm in the hospital he will come up for about an hour a day (maybe longer if he is well behaved) and my mom, granny, MIL or DH will have him when he isn't there. If DH is home with him - which is the plan for the evenings - then my mom will be with me at the hospital. And vice versa. I would prefer DH to stay with DS at night so he doesn't feel left out for those 4 days.

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Idk, girls may be with their dad or one of their aunts.

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I have asked my sister to drive down for the birth too. She was here with my DS and I loved having her here. She lives about 4 hours away, but last time she made it down in plenty of time. My Mom and Dad live 45 mins away and will be around too. Between them and my DH, we should be pretty covered. It is likely my Dad will do most of the babysitting of my DS, then my DH will be home with him while baby and I are in the hospital. I have definitely thought this one through and have all my peeps in place haha.

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Thankfully both our families are within 15 minutes of us. So we will have plenty of help while we are at the hospital for the laboring process. The plan is for DH to stay with the kids at home at night and he will bring them to the hospital for an hour or so during the day to visit. I think I am going to have trouble getting Brynna to leave because to her this is her baby. My mom has also said that she will take Brynna and I know Little Billy's grandmother will be willing to take him as well so that Bill can have some extra time with Ryan. I am so thankful for having the close knit family that we have.

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"Carolyn85" wrote:

my MIL has offered but she is a teacher and will still be in school. I'm glad honestly!! I do strive to be patient with her... but she makes me BONKERS!!!

My MIL lives across the country and she came out when my DS was born in advance and it was more of a pain than anything! One of my few requests of my DH this time around is that she doesn't come out until a couple of weeks after baby is born! This is our last and I want that time to just be us. Then she calls and wants to come out with her husband (who sadly is a controlling jerk) and stay with us! I was horrified! But luckily my DH is too and was like "this isn't a social visit" so hopefully that will all work out. Hope this doesn't sound too awful, but that would be a horrible situation to have to host them in our house for a month while we are adjusting to new baby.

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"sugspop" wrote:

My MIL lives across the country and she came out when my DS was born in advance and it was more of a pain than anything! One of my few requests of my DH this time around is that she doesn't come out until a couple of weeks after baby is born! This is our last and I want that time to just be us. Then she calls and wants to come out with her husband (who sadly is a controlling jerk) and stay with us! I was horrified! But luckily my DH is too and was like "this isn't a social visit" so hopefully that will all work out. Hope this doesn't sound too awful, but that would be a horrible situation to have to host them in our house for a month while we are adjusting to new baby.

I feel your pain on this one. My MIL lives in Florida and DH's brother is planning to fly her up to visit us for the week between Christmas and New Year's. I am just praying I have the baby before then, but having her in our house won't be a help. We will have to "entertain" her and I told DH he better plan to be off work and not even think about leaving me home alone with her!

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"sugspop" wrote:

My MIL lives across the country and she came out when my DS was born in advance and it was more of a pain than anything! One of my few requests of my DH this time around is that she doesn't come out until a couple of weeks after baby is born! This is our last and I want that time to just be us. Then she calls and wants to come out with her husband (who sadly is a controlling jerk) and stay with us! I was horrified! But luckily my DH is too and was like "this isn't a social visit" so hopefully that will all work out. Hope this doesn't sound too awful, but that would be a horrible situation to have to host them in our house for a month while we are adjusting to new baby.

I know it's hard but your DH should just flat out tell them no. I know that's his mom and such but sometimes you just have to be blunt with people. Nobody wants to "entertain" people after they've just had a baby. I'd tell them they are more than welcome to visit for a few days, one week or whatever you're comfortable with a few weeks after the baby is born but that's it. Other than that you want to be at home bonding with just your hubby, son, and baby.

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We'll call my parents when I'm in labor so they can come to stay with our son. They live less than 10 minutes away, and if they happened to be at work they'd be about 30 minutes away. Dh will come home to be here at night and do the bedtime routine with our son...he didn't stay overnight w/me at the hospital last time around either. I don't mind, and I'd be more comfortable having him here with Miles at night.

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2 plans:

Plan 1 vaginal birth, spontaneous labor:

My MIL lives 45 min away and will watch Nicholas until my parents get to our house (they are 3 hours away). If need be, my friend offered to watch Nicholas until she could get to our house. Then my dad will watch Nicholas at our house while my mom and MIL are at the hospital (in the room) when I give birth. I want Nicholas to come visit his baby sister but just a quick visit- 30 min tops each day. He is too young to expect to behave with nothing to entertain him. My parents will take care of him and I will send DH home a lot to spend time with him.

Plan 2, C-section

I will need someone in the room with me at all times after baby is born. It would be nice if DH took the night shift and was at home with Nicholas during the day when I could have my mom at the hospital with me and Emily. Also, MIL and my mom won't be allowed in the operating room.

No matter what I have my ideas: 1) Nicholas will be at HOME with someone for most of the time, besides just quick visits with mommy and sister. 2) only my friend, mom, MIL, or dad can watch Nicholas. I do NOT want my FIL watching him.

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We don't have family close. So I have to have a few people to rely on. I freaked last pregnancy b/c I got so worried about finding a complete stranger to leave my kids with. I finally found a nanny service which paired us up with a few nannies and we interviewed, chose 2 and regularly started using her so the kids and I were comfortable. We still use one of those nannies pretty regularly but we also met another one at the kids soccer class. She was on the job for another family but we got to know her over the summer and the kids just love her! Also now with my oldest living with us all the time now I feel comfortable leaving the little ones overnight with him. Then daytimes I can have one of two nannies available to helP my oldest or to just take over if it's a school day.

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My mom just came in from New Orleans, she will be staying here for a few months Smile I love her! She is so supportive of Dh and I and all the kids. We are so thankful for her help! Seriously I have no idea how I would do this without her!!!!

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We will take DS to MIL/FIL on our way to the hospital. Depending on the time of day that this little one comes, DS will spend the first night with grandma/pa or DH will bring him home. The only problem is that DS has not spent a night away from his mommy....

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"joyjim" wrote:

My mom just came in from New Orleans, she will be staying here for a few months Smile I love her! She is so supportive of Dh and I and all the kids. We are so thankful for her help! Seriously I have no idea how I would do this without her!!!!

Lucky girl Wink My ex-MIL was like this, but I wasn't willing to keep the ex around just to keep her around. Miss her though.

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I don't know yet. My FIL will be coming in from SC to meet the baby, so between him and my mom I hope to have dd and ds taken care of while I am in the hospital. Once I am home, it's all me (and dh of course, but he works nights) again though.

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My MIL can't get off from work to come sit with DD, so we are making our own plans.

Now, if the baby comes early over Thanksgiving...the whole family is at a wedding and it will be up to DH and I....

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"mlle_carrie" wrote:

I feel your pain on this one. My MIL lives in Florida and DH's brother is planning to fly her up to visit us for the week between Christmas and New Year's. I am just praying I have the baby before then, but having her in our house won't be a help. We will have to "entertain" her and I told DH he better plan to be off work and not even think about leaving me home alone with her!

Ha! I know it! And my MIL is a very nice lady and not too intrusive or anything, but I want some alone time with my family! And we don't have the biggest house in the world, so she would totally be up in my space. And it isn't just the "entertaining" part... I know how she is (lazy and no self direction), so there would be all the extra cleaning and cooking!

"_Jessicah_" wrote:

I know it's hard but your DH should just flat out tell them no. I know that's his mom and such but sometimes you just have to be blunt with people. Nobody wants to "entertain" people after they've just had a baby. I'd tell them they are more than welcome to visit for a few days, one week or whatever you're comfortable with a few weeks after the baby is born but that's it. Other than that you want to be at home bonding with just your hubby, son, and baby.

Yea, it would be a totally different story if they were staying at a hotel or at someone elses house. My MIL's husband isn't my DH's biological dad or anything... she married him just a few years ago. He is so obese he can't even get on an airplane, so they would have to drive across country and if they did that they would extend their stay. Luckily my DH was already saying no way after he hung up with them when they called and asked and said to me if they wanted to come see us, they can come this summer. That was awesome and I didn't even feel like I had to argue any points with him. I just feel bad for him bc they (meaning his MIL) put him in a spot to be the bad guy. She is so disappointing sometimes...

Thanks for the comments ladies. I don't mean to hijack this thread or anything, but it feels good to vent about this. It just happened on Monday, so it is still kind of fresh.

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I'm having a home birth, so if labor is fast and during the night like last time, then I will just let my 3 yr old sleep through it. Her dad lives just down the street, so he can always take her any time, and my sister and mom both live by his work, so he can drop her off there if he needs to go in.

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I am due december 1st, and DD's dad is planning on taking her on vacation for a week just after my due date, so that will work out nicely!!

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Our families live 20 minutes away and on the way to the hospital. Since this is a planned c-section they will come with us to the hospital and wait in the waiting room with my mom. If I happen to go into labor before and have to hurry to the hospital- my dd will be 13 and can stay at home with her brother until grandma comes to get them or they would come with us as my mom is close the the hospital.

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"Carolyn85" wrote:

I just started thinking about this!

My mom offered to take Luke for the first week... and I'm really considering that!! Our house is too small to have any extra guests, and the help would be GREAT!!!!!

Great idea!! Glad you have that option!!

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Wow, 2 days AFTER baby is born? My hospital kicks you out 24 hours after baby is born... not that I mind. I have vaginal births with no complications, so by the time a day has gone by I'm ready to get out of there! My kids will go to my mom's house during L&D. I was induced with the last baby, so it was easy to plan and drive them over. With this baby, who knows? It all depends where I am when I go into labor, where DH is, where the kids are... there's a hundren possible scenarios and I guess I won't know for sure how we'll do things until thos contractions come!

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"Starryblue702" wrote:

Wow, 2 days AFTER baby is born? My hospital kicks you out 24 hours after baby is born... not that I mind.

It certainly makes sense to want to get home, but you could stay 48 hours if you wanted ...
http://www.dol.gov/ebsa/publications/newborns.html

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"Starryblue702" wrote:

Wow, 2 days AFTER baby is born? My hospital kicks you out 24 hours after baby is born...

They keep you here for 48 hours unless there were problems or complications. That's the minimum!

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Pretty sure the minimum is 48 hours at my hospital as well.

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I'm itching to get out after 24 hrs I don't sleep well at the hospital so 2 nights is too much!