Lets talk more sex... lol!

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Starryblue702's picture
Joined: 04/06/11
Posts: 5454
Lets talk more sex... lol!

Hey girls, so I'm sure you remember from my pregnancy that I was totally into DTD ALL OF THE TIME! I don't know what's happened? Maybe it's the fact that I haven't slept through the night since Trystan was born (8 weeks tomorrow, BTW!), or that I had to go back to working full time on top of that, or having four kids now, or having to spend every minute of my precious two days off per week cleaning my filthy house... but I so am not in the mood. DH keeps trying to mess around with me, and sex is the farthest thing from my mind after I'm up twice in the night feeding T, then getting back up at 6:30AM to get ready for work, working all day, getting kids from school, doing homework, playing with DD, and feeding T at least 6 times inbetween there! Once I finally get T down for the night I'm absolutely exhausted, and the last thing I want to do is (graphic TMI warning ahead) go down on him (he's been bugging me about that)!!!! OMG I'm like, are you freaking kidding me? If you really want to do me a favor, YOU can go down on ME, then after you're done with that I'll fall right to sleep and YOU can get up with Trystan all night long before you go to work!!! *deep breath* Anyways, is anyone else dealing with a DH/SO that won't leave you alone because they just don't get how unbelievably tired you are?!?!?!

JuneorJulyBaby?'s picture
Joined: 10/20/08
Posts: 2479

Wow wasn't expecting this post from you Krystal.

Anyways, I was the same way with Nicholas...it is like nature's birth control. I have 2 weeks until I am 6 weeks pp and dread sex.... it hurt so bad after Nicholas.

We got DH a subscription to playboy after Nicholas was born.... Our sex life wasn't back to normal until 9 months pp after I stopped bfing.

Starryblue702's picture
Joined: 04/06/11
Posts: 5454

:jawdrop: I could never do the Playboy thing lol... I'm weird about porn... I basically forbid it lol!! I know what you mean about it being super painful, my first was just like that. I'm sure with me it's just a hormonal thing, too... I just hope I don't feel like this too much longer, or DH will probably think that I have a BF on the side!!

AshnBill's picture
Joined: 11/06/06
Posts: 5333

Ack! Wasn't expecting that post, either. Our sex life is back to normal. :eek: But, I don't work. That *would* be exhausting! I am up about 4-5 times a night between Vivian and our 3 year old...but somehow sex fits in there? Weird.

I'm going to be pregnant right away. I just know it.

.hilary.'s picture
Joined: 01/31/10
Posts: 1505

Oh dear...not what I expected to read either!! Sorry to hear how busy and crazy things are for you right now Sad

And for me, considering I still can't even walk without pain...uh no. Nothing here! :o

HaganBaby's picture
Joined: 10/17/07
Posts: 334

I so don't want sex at all. lol I'm buying dh playboy too I think and go to Sam's and stock up on tissues. lol sorry I'm punchy from lack of sleep

_Jessicah_'s picture
Joined: 04/21/11
Posts: 1973

I'm just too exhausted. With DD I had such horrific tearing that it was forever before I was even brave enough to attempt sex and when we did it was horribly painful so it was a long time before we ventured down that avenue again. LOL I think I'd kill my husband if he was pressuring me for any type of sexual activity. I am only 4 weeks PP at this point and I don't see it happening any time soon. At least not until Ryan sleeps through the night or DH starts getting up with Ryan in the middle of the night to feed him.

Joined: 04/10/11
Posts: 1703

I'm not either, Krystal. That's ridiculous. If no one is screaming, why would you do anything other than sleep? Besides, I can't ever imagine that ever ever ever never now that my front and back were once one gaping hole now separated by a few stitches.

PAmom2boys's picture
Joined: 04/29/09
Posts: 1494

Well we have DTD 2 times and I don't really feel like doing that either much. Once baby goes to sleep give me about 30 minutes before requesting sexual favors. One: to make sure we don't get interrupted and two: I cater to four other males all freaking day. I need a break. Three: I probably haven't eaten dinner yet nor have I showered. How could I possibly be desirable. ROFLLol

sugspop's picture
Joined: 02/22/07
Posts: 1418

I'm into it, so this isn't that much of a problem for me. I just don't have the time or energy to do it as often as either of us would like. Life is overwhelming right now, so I'm totally with you there. And you had to go back to work so soon... I'm still on maternity leave! But being home alone with the two kids is totally exhausting. I can't get anything done and my poor DS watches way too much TV.

Starryblue702's picture
Joined: 04/06/11
Posts: 5454

I swear I don't know what he expects from me. As I'm typing this, Trystan is grunting in his bassinet even though I've fed him twice in two hours, Liberty is running around in her panties, Max is in the tub, dh is doing whatever he's doing... And I'm so tired... But not too tired for you girls lol! maybe he'll finally understand how I always felt when he would turn me down all of the time during my pregnancy!

sugspop's picture
Joined: 02/22/07
Posts: 1418

I hear you and I only have two kids!!! Hoping for a routine schedule sooner than later... sending you a big hug!

Starryblue702's picture
Joined: 04/06/11
Posts: 5454

I'm slowly getting back into the mood... Maybe tonight we can fool around... If I'm not absolutely exhausted lol! I think what I'm really wanting is a date night out. It's been so long since we've done anything just the two of us... Since before the baby was born. Dinner and a movie would be nice... Now just to find the money for that! I think if we has some one on one time we could get back into the swing of things.

sugspop's picture
Joined: 02/22/07
Posts: 1418

I hear that! Why is it so hard to get out on a date with your DH after kids! It will be a while for us sadly. It is hard to come by sitters here.

mlle_carrie's picture
Joined: 07/17/05
Posts: 1134

We have such a weird sex life to begin with. DH is not a super sex-charged guy...once a week is plenty for him, but I think we are both missing the intimacy. We probably haven't done anything since I was about 6 months pregnant, soooo we will probably try to at least do some fooling around soon (not sure if I am ready for penetration yet...ouch!) He asked how we are going to do it. I think he is weirded out by the idea of messing around while Evelyn is sleeping in the same room and things probably won't really take off until we move her to her crib in her own room. I guess we'll see. Part of me really wants to do it, but I am so tired and like everyone mentioned, if I have a little nugget of free time, I want to eat or shower or just sit and relax. Plus, I am typically a mess at any given moment of the day...not sexy at all!!

JuneorJulyBaby?'s picture
Joined: 10/20/08
Posts: 2479

i wonder how we will have sex too because emily sleeps with us in bed. i'll probably put her in the crib, close the door and let her cry. with nick we would wait till he was napping in the bouncy and turn him around so he couldn't see us LOL

_Jessicah_'s picture
Joined: 04/21/11
Posts: 1973

With Brynna I was totally creeped out by the thought of having sex with her in the room. It felt so weird to me.

Starryblue702's picture
Joined: 04/06/11
Posts: 5454

I don't have any issues with the baby being in the room. Hell, Liberty slept in our room all last summer because my parents were living with us and using her room... so we always had to wait until she fell asleep on her little "blanket bed" on the floor before we could do anything... so Trystan being sound asleep in his bassinet doesn't bother me at all! With me it's just about finding the time to actually do anything. I swear the only time that seems remotely possible to me is after one of T's nightime feedings! It's the only time when the whole house is quiet and all of the other kids are asleep and have zero chance of walking in on us... but I'm just so exhausted at 2AM that the thought of waking DH up to DTD instead of going back to sleep is absolute craziness. I think the most frustrating thing is that DH has really been slacking on the intimacy... like he doesn't remember what gets a woman in the mood to DTD in the first place. The couple of times that we have fooled around, he's squeezing my boobs really hard and rubs on me a little bit, with no kissing, and he thinks that's going to do it? He used to be so good at the kissing part, I don't know if he thinks that because we're married with a ton of kids now that he doesn't have to work for it? And anytime I tell him that I need a little romance to get in the mood, it just annoys him... like he thinks that he did kiss on me when he knows that he didn't. Anyone else's DH like this? Men are always so good about the romance in the beginning of a relationship and then just get sloppy with it. I compare it to women who look a certain way at the beginning of a relationship/marriage, and then stop doing their hair, makeup, and dressing nicely after the kids come! It's the same thing lol!!

mlle_carrie's picture
Joined: 07/17/05
Posts: 1134

I'm with you Krystal. Having the baby in the room with us doesn't bother me at all. Heck, she doesn't know what's going on! I think it's funny that DH is weirded out by it, though I have to admit that I felt the same way when I was pregnant. Something about doing THAT and having the baby wiggling around in between us made sex kinda weird for me when I was pregnant.

My DH is not very strong in the "romancing" department, but then again, he never really has been so it's nothing new or different. He usually wants to dive right in and I sometimes have to tell him to slow down and give me some time to warm up. But he really tries when I ask him to slow it down.

Starryblue702's picture
Joined: 04/06/11
Posts: 5454

I really wish that DH would dial up the romance. I think it's probably been two weeks now since we've done anything, and only about three times since Trystan was born. I really don't know what to think. Then last night he comes home and he's like, "Jon (our friend) wants to go see Mission Impossible and he invited us to come... do you want to go tomorrow?" He knows full well that I couldn't care less about that stupid movie. We haven't been to a movie together since September, and certainly haven't done anything since T arrived. So now tonight I know I'll just tell him to go ahead with Jon, when I wish he would be like, "Honey, is there a movie that you would like to see, because I'd like to take you out tonight? I know it's been a while since we've had a date night and you've been worked to the bone between work and a newborn, so lets do something together." Yeah, I know, that's too much to ask for from a man... but I can dream.