OK... already wanting sex!! (QOTD: Monday)

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Starryblue702's picture
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OK... already wanting sex!! (QOTD: Monday)

So I know it's no big surprise to you girls that I'm totally crazy with hormones and want to jump DH's bones lol! Trystan will be three weeks old tomorrow, and I know the Dr always says to wait six weeks, but I just don't see why!!!?? I had no tears or any problems down there... the baby came out in one push so it's not like my va-jay-jay went through too horrible of an experience during L&D! Six weeks is the standard time frame for EVERY woman, and I just don't see the need to wait that long when everything feels perfectly fine down there! DH won't come near me, and every time we start doing anything more than a little peck of a kiss, he backs off and says that he wants to stop! He's like, "I can't believe you're getting mad at me for looking our for your well being and making sure you're completely healed before we do anything!" I don't care about whatever mumbo-jumbo he's talking about, I just want some sex and I can't believe he's holding out on me! So here's my question to you ladies that are BTDT moms... did you wait the full six weeks to DTD, or did you go ahead when you felt OK before your time was up? Do you think it matters either way?

JuneorJulyBaby?'s picture
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Krystal, how did I know that there would be a post like this from you?? Smile

To answer your question, we waited the full 6 weeks and then a few more days until the dr. cleared me for sex. I felt fine but it HURT pretty bad when we tried so we stopped. I had a 2nd degree tear during birth. Honestly, sex hurt for me for the first few minutes up until Nicholas was about 8-9 months old. I would just bear it for the first few min and then be glad that we did. I don't know if breastfeeding had anything to do with it but we were using plenty of lube, etc. so it was definitely something physical with me causing me to hurt.

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They want you to wait for other reasons too. Everything inside needs time to heal and close up and waiting will prevent infections and stuff.

I will be waiting all 6 weeks at least because we are waiting until my IUD is in. I agree with Angela though, it hurt me for the first few months after ds1 and dd. I think bf'ing does have something to do with it. The hormones involved really mess me up I think.

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I think they wanna be sure your cervix is closed! it has to go from 10cm all the way back to closed, it might not quite be there by 3 weeks! I would wait another week or two! I remember dying to go swimming after having Luke and they said I really needed to wait the 6 weeks to be sure everything was closed. The last thing you want is a uterine infection. i dont think i have ever once had sex and it not been painful. I'm a bit jealous. I usually can't even walk for a day I'm so sore.

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We're waiting the full six weeks and then some. I had horrible tearing with Brynna so I was sore for quite some time after I had her. And after we finally DTD I thought I would die. It was worse than losing my viginity. So I will be in no hurry after this baby to DTD either.

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I waited 6 or 8 weeks with Evan and probably will again. But I had no real pain after Evan.....I had a side wall tear and that was my main reason for waiting - making sure that healed all up. This time I don't have a sidewall tear but I do have a small tear and I want everything to heal all up (and I'm still bleeding). But I'm hoping I don't have some of the pain you ladies have had - I didn't with Evan and I'll be bummed if I do this time!

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We went way past the 8 weeks I was told. I was in so much pain down there that it wasn't even an option. I assume it will be like that again.

ETA that I agree with PPs - your OB isn't as worried about if you tore or not, but everything got stretched out and needs time to get back where it needs to be. You don't want to DTD too early and risk injuring yourself.

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Damn... not one of you?!?! Lol, I know what you're all saying. I waited the full time with my first because I tore badly and was cut, and i waited with my second too (although no tears)... but with dd we did it after about three weeks and everything felt great! I feel even better with this baby which is why Im so confident, but its a no go lol! I get what you're all saying though... thanks for the input ladies!

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Lol poor Krystal! You could always call your doc and ask for a special dispensation Biggrin

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Ok, I'll be the odd ball. LOL!

With our son we waited 3 weeks. My OB was perfectly fine with it when I went in for my 6w pp visit and she asked. She said as long as it was comfortable for me, 3 weeks was fine.

Now, this time... Blush We DTD at 11 days pp. OMG. I can't believe I just admitted that. BUT, **but**, I didn't have a single tear this time around so no stitches down there or anything. And the next day I was tossing some papers about sex after pregnancy and read that you shouldn't dtd if you're still bleeding. I am still bleeding a tiny little bit. Whoops. So, we'll wait until I'm done bleeding before doing anything again. Lol

Okay. Now you guys know way too much about me. Smile

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Totally lurking Wink but we dtd 4 weeks postpartum with #3 and #4, I wanted to as soon as 2 weeks but dh wouldn't plus at that point I was still bleeding. My midwife said if you are done bleeding it's pretty safe as long as you are doing something for birth control. I had similar births; fast, no stitches or complications.

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My vajayjay burns just reading this ladies......DAMN!

Veni Vidi Vici's picture
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I'm 2 weeks now, so we will be having sex ASAP!!! I have been craving it for a week now! I'm not bleeding and all closed up, so that's all the go ahead I need. Go ahead!

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"lesleynka" wrote:

My vajayjay burns just reading this ladies......DAMN!

ROFL - same here. Although I just messaged this to DH earlier: "i need more prostaglandins,please and thank you" But its definitely NOT for the fun of it, this is strictly a business transaction.

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uuugh we had a business transaction the other day. It took the entire day to stop hurting... and I STILL didn't have a baby.

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Lol, we had 3 business transactions the weekend before I was induced. I thought for sure it would help get things started. When I found out there was no change to my cervix, my first thought was "I had sex 3 times for nothing!??!?! Damn!"

And to answer the question, I'm still bleeding a little but we will probably wait the full 6 weeks, but that's just because I tend to be a rule follower, lol.

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waiting the full 6-weeks here. Of course my vajajay saw no action during the birth...I still am in pain from my c-section. My stomach muscles hurt too. I think we waited last time, not sure (6-years ago). I'm also bleeding still *ugh* hate this part!

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When I didn't lose anymore plug this morning I figured the romp last night was pointless. LOL Poor Dh.

I told him last night that a VBAC means having sex way sooner than a csection so he needs to help me out here already.

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I just can't make myself do it! LOL Hubby was asking last night but I am just miserable and couldn't do it. Today is the poor guys birthday so lets hope I can muster up something for him later but I work a 12 hours shift today.

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Jessicah - I wasn't in the mood either. When Dh walked in the room I just said "this is business, not pleasure!" LOL We just laughed because really, its so hard to do these days that its more work than anything.

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especially when you say "No you can't kiss me!!! how do you expect me to do all this PLUS breathe?????"

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OMG I cant even imagine, but I had an episiotomy 8 days ago and NO ONE is getting close to there!

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*Lurker*

With DD1 I waited 8 weeks because I was scared and didn't really want it. I tore a little with her (only had like 3 stitches I think).

With DD2 DH and I wanted each other SSSOOOOOO bad. We did other stuff in the shower and he said he didn't want to DTD until I stopped bleeding to avoid infections and such. Sure the other stuff wasn't as good as DTD but we did end up DTD a little bit around 4 or 5 weeks after DD2 but we finally DTD the whole time (the others were when we just couldn't help ourselves but then he would stop) about 5 1/2 weeks because it was his bday lol.

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LMAO you girls are too funny!!! I think I'm gonna tell DH a little white lie tonight, that I called the doc and she said it was OK! I stopped bleeding last week, so I should be fine. I think what made it worse was DH going and buying 4 different types of condoms (no joke!) and then not letting us use them... WTF?!?!?! I know for a fact we only waited about three weeks with DD, so I don't know what his problem is?! All I know is I'm crazy horny and possibly losing my mind!!!

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It's still really good for us. I dont think it's necessarily helping, but I am dreading not being able to do it so I'm getting what I can.

How did it go krystal? Have you tried crowne condoms?

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Well... I finally got some last night! Thank God... I was about to lose my mind lol! It was actually amazing, I can't believe how much I missed kissing my husband while we DTD! We hadn't been able to do that for months because he couldn't reach me lol. The only bad thing was that the condom only stayed on for about five minutes before I took it off of him. I think it's so bad because we've NEVER used them (hello six kids between us lol) and when I wasn't pregnant I was on the pill... so we both HATE them. I swear it's like he can't feel anything with it on, so we did the pull out method... which I KNOW doesn't work so well, but we couldn't help it lol. Oh well, this just means that he needs to get to the "snip" doctor extra quick!

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Im actually feeling pretty good in this regard so we may try it before 6 weeks. ill probably wait until the bleeding stops.

Im glad it was good for you! we have both liked the trojan thins. i dont even feel it. And obviously, be careful with pull and pray. unless of course you want to add one more. Lol

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After this pregnancy you couldn't pay me to do the pray and pull method. Mine will be wrapping his up and I don't care how he feels about it.

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I hate condoms as much as DH does so I am going to rely on the minipill to keep us safe until the V has been confirmed. And breastfeeding Smile

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Lol "pull and pray"... I like that! I think between doing that and BF we should be OK until his snip... it's always worked before (BTW with this last pregnancy, there was no pull lol.. I was just way off with my timing!)! I might go with the pill that they put you on while you're BF until he's all done with the snip... don't you still have to wait a month to be sure they're all gone?

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yes theres sometime you have to wait and test that theres no spermies. i dont know how long the wait is.

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There is an OTC test you can buy to test it. Its like an HPT.

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I think I read that the wait period is one month to be sure that they're all gone. I'm kind of ashamed to admit that I'll be really sad when he does it. I know we have a lot of kids and I really don't want any more, but just the thought that it's PERMENANT, and that I'll never carry another child for the rest of my life makes me sad a little...

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I'm totally okay with our permanent BC decision. I feel very lucky to have carried 5 boys. I never imagined having so many and it's definetly all I can handle. I think for us we are ready to move on from babyhood.

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Krystal. I would feel that way too. Even though we say we are ok with two kids I know if we made it permanent I would be really sad just in case we ever changed our minds.

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I want to make it permanent and yet I don't...I have no idea what BC we will be using. I totally want it now, but the headaches and boob pain plus the stiff neck would make it more awkward than being full term, lol. I have four kids and totally feel like we are done, but making it 100% is a terrible thought. So weird! Maybe I will feel better about it in a few months?!?!?

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I had to have an episiotomy and I had 3rd degree tears so intercourse is the farthest thing from my mind, though I am looking forward to doing other things eventually. I also think DH was quite traumatized by delivery, so it might take him awhile to be ready. We have to get this parenting a newborn thing down first.

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Carrie, I agree Sad with all my "complex" tears (dunno what that means) and episiotomy...there is no way I can even think of it. I am sad and scared I might never be able to do it again!! And DH reassures me he doesn't think any different...but HOW could be not?! Yikes.

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Carrie and Hilary... don't worry, you'll get back in the groove of things and want sex again. And I felt the same way about my DH watching the births, like he would never want me sexually again! I really think that deep down they see it as a beautiful thing and fall in love with us even more, watching us give birth to their children (at least this is what I had to tell myself lol). DH never had a problem getting "back in the groove of things" once we did it for the first time after delivery. With my first baby (where I was pretty torn up down there) after the six weeks sex was no problem, like nothing had ever happened.

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Krystal, how did you feel after one week with that one? I'm one week out and still in so much pain. I can't imagine feeling normal again! At what point did things start to feel a little more normal?

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Hilary, I couldn't even sit down or take a poo for two weeks without crying! I made sure I used my spray bottle with super warm water every time I went potty, and I used TUCKS pads as well... and any meds that your doc gave you! After about three weeks I felt better down there, but not well enough to DTD. Like I said, that time, I waiting until I got the OK at my 6 week checkup to go down that road! The only comfort I can give you is that only my first baby was a bad experience down there... and that every other baby after that came out with the greatest of ease, no tears or anything! Once your body has been through it, it's no problem after that lol... at least for me!

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I mentally wanted it a week after I had the baby, but physically, no way! I'm still not sure I'm quite there, but I do want it... 2 more weeks... Wink

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We DTD again this morning... it was awesome... LMAO!

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"Starryblue702" wrote:

Hilary, I couldn't even sit down or take a poo for two weeks without crying! I made sure I used my spray bottle with super warm water every time I went potty, and I used TUCKS pads as well... and any meds that your doc gave you! After about three weeks I felt better down there, but not well enough to DTD. Like I said, that time, I waiting until I got the OK at my 6 week checkup to go down that road! The only comfort I can give you is that only my first baby was a bad experience down there... and that every other baby after that came out with the greatest of ease, no tears or anything! Once your body has been through it, it's no problem after that lol... at least for me!

Whew, this is reassurin, thanks!! I am feeling a bit better over the last couple days so I think I am in a better headspace about it all too Smile

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Hilary, I had an episiotomy and one internal tear and popped a stitch on the episiotomy. I felt just like you - scared and sad. It was worst painwise from day 5-10 as the swelling went down. I am now on day 14 and it has really got way better. I don't need painkillers anymore and I can barely feel it ever. I second taking LOTS of stool softener, the spray bottle and sitz baths (DH can buy one at the pharmacy) with epsom salts. It really does get better. I also found that wearing a big pad was bothering the stitches a lot so I would often just sit in bed on an old towel with no pants or underwear to let air get to the wound. I also put a blow dryer on low and cool and dried things off down there to help healing. and most importantly, stay ahead of your pain pills. The hospital had me take 2 tylenol extra strength and 2 ibuprofen alternating every 2 hours and I continued that at home.