Things I loved and miss

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Joined: 04/10/11
Posts: 1703
Things I loved and miss

When I saw the other thread, I at first assumed it was about what we miss now that there are little babies in the picture. I'll admit I'm extremely jealous at how ridiculously easy it seems to strap on just the one baby and continue about your day as normal, but maybe my picture of it isn't entirely true. It's a rare day when I get to leave the house so there are things that I liked doing that I miss now. I miss swimming, planning trips with friends, and leaving the house without having to plan my extra pumping sessions days in advance. Anyone else missing things?

sugspop's picture
Joined: 02/22/07
Posts: 1418

It's been a long time since my first baby, but I miss going out on a whim. Not preparing for hours in advance for a simple road trip. Ease and comfort of shopping without a screaming baby or a toddler tearing clothes off the racks. Time to myself! Sleep! Stuff like that. While I miss that, I wouldn't trade my babies in to have all of that back and plus some. I will get it all back when they get bigger. There is nothing like rediscovering the world through your child's eyes, and I can't imagine it any other way. Smile

But I can't imagine twins under 5. I was just saying the other day that I couldn't do it! It's truly an amazing person to be able to handle it, and you are only given what you can handle, right? You must be a strong woman. Hang in there! It gets easier with one as they age, so I imagine it will get easier for you too. Smile

gaidinsgirl's picture
Joined: 08/28/06
Posts: 2004

Ya know, I never do well with this question. The only real thing I miss is sleeping until *I* want to wake up. Dh and I were married for 10 years before we were finally blessed with our ds1. I feel like we had a lot of together time without kids and now we really truly just love being parents. I don't so much mind getting everyone ready to go places and stuff. I do miss little things like uninterrupted scrapbooking or reading time LOL, but I know in 18 years or so I will be crying because my kids are out on their own so I don't dwell on that too much. hahaha

mlle_carrie's picture
Joined: 07/17/05
Posts: 1134

It took me a long time to get pregnant and DH and I are on the older side of first time parents (41 and 34, respectively), so on one hand, we've had a lot of time to get set in our ways and used to doing things a certain way. On the other hand, we both really wanted children and have experienced a lot in our lives, so right now we are happy to be parents and the changes that come with a newborn haven't really bothered us much. That being said, one thing I do miss is being able to sleep without worrying and waking every so often, wondering if the baby is ok. She sleeps through the night...but I don't! It has very much hit me that I will never be able to truly "rest" again. Without children, I only had to look out for myself. Now, and forever, I will be concerned for my child(ren), their safety and comfort, and that scares the crap out of me.

HaganBaby's picture
Joined: 10/17/07
Posts: 334

I'm in the same boat, it took me so long to get pregnant that I had resigned myself to never having a baby (we were thinking of adopting toddler aged) that I look at Connor and I want him to slow down lol. I want him to stay "small" (He was 11lbs so he has never been tiny lol)

.hilary.'s picture
Joined: 01/31/10
Posts: 1505

Sleep, eespecially sleeping in whenever I want. Also spontaneity between DH and I, like just deciding to go for a really nice dinner or road trip or something. We still do those things, but of course we plan them now.

I also do miss DH and I as a couple. I know we will get back to that, but I miss cuddling just the two of us, and focusing all our attention on each other....I admit it, I miss that. But of course I wouldn't trade what we have now for anything, lol!

fireflies11's picture
Joined: 03/26/11
Posts: 613

I guess I'm with those of you that had kids later. DH & I were married for 5-years before DS was born and then 6-years later Jonah. Plus I went to college, partied like a rock star and then lived alone for a few years. I feel like I have had enough "me" time. Especially with Jonah I feel this way! With DS I was tired of nursing, nap schedules ect. But now I realize that it is only a very short time and then poof! It's over! I hold Jonah way more than I did DS, I co-sleep "just because" and I am working hard at nursing for as long as possible. Because I know this is just a few years. For me when it's over I'll just be old Smile

But, I don't have twins!! I cannot imagine how much work that must be, especially as your firsts! I agree with Julie, you are a strong woman to do it everyday!!

I'm_a_pepper's picture
Joined: 10/25/05
Posts: 606

I think, no matter how much you wanted and waited to have kids- or if the baby was a surprise- everyone is shell-shocked to some degree when their first baby/babies come. I know I was when DS1 was born. Even though we had been TTC for over a year for him, after he was born, I remember crying, even feeling resentful and jealous of other people w/o kids...thinking I would never have time and freedom to do anything again w/o having to have a baby attached to me 24/7. I think it must be this way times a million with twins. I can't imagine. I kmow it seems like you will be doing this forever, but it does pass...they grow up, they learn to eat table food by themselves and they learn to pee and poop in the toilet, and most importantly (for me, anyway), they learn to talk and tell you where it hurts, and what they want, and they really do have some interesting things to say. Smile
I don't really love the newborn stage..I've said that before. But I've learned to just lower my expectations for awhile, and if I get an unexpected 30 minutes to watch a bit of Toddlers and Tiaras, or grab a 15 minute doze, then hey, it's a good day, and before long, these days will be a memory.
I didn't mean to write so much...it's just I know a little of how you're feeling. To answe your original question, I miss sleep and shopping most of all. Wink

kmm123's picture
Joined: 12/13/08
Posts: 1839

We always had a lot of dogs that require more planning to leave than kids so I can't say there was any real adjustment in that department. My first was a very good sleeper, Rory is not. I do miss sleeping alone and the ability to just put the kids to bed quickly. It takes about 45 minutes to get Rory down and then with in a couple hours he's in bed with us. I miss sleeping alone and quiet kid free time in the evening but we'll get there Smile

Joined: 04/10/11
Posts: 1703

Sorry guys, didn't mean to be all woe is me. But this is so TRUE:

"kmm123" wrote:

We always had a lot of dogs that require more planning to leave than kids so I can't say there was any real adjustment in that department.

I never had nearly as many as you, but still ... I'm constantly amazed that we're allowed to take the babies in restaurants and such. Haha! I got WAY too used to dogs. Wink

Joined: 03/17/08
Posts: 1391

"fireflies11" wrote:

But now I realize that it is only a very short time and then poof! It's over! I hold Jonah way more than I did DS, I co-sleep "just because" and I am working hard at nursing for as long as possible. Because I know this is just a few years. For me when it's over I'll just be old Smile

This is us, too. My first two babies were colicky and refluxy and sooo high maintenance that I quite honestly didn't mind how fast the weeks and months were going. The older they got, the easier it got and that was great! Smile Plus I think the fact that I had them relatively close together, DS was just about to turn 2 when DD was born, I still didn't quite have a good realization of how fast the time really was going to fly. Now that they are both older and so much more independent, I am really trying to savor every second of this. I get all teary a few times a week just thinking about how this stage is just moving way too quickly for me.

BUT, that doesn't mean I don't also miss sleep and shopping (shopping for things I want to shop for in particular! right now it is torturous enough to go get groceries. we don't even bother with the mall, hahaha) and eating in restaurants that don't serve happy meals and heck, even talking to DH! Lol I do. For sure!

Starryblue702's picture
Joined: 04/06/11
Posts: 5454

I didn't really get to experience life on my own before I became a mom. I married my first husband less than a year after I graduated from high school, in April 2001. That following January I was pregnant, and had my beautiful baby boy October 2, 2002. But backing up, I (stupidly) didn't listen to my parents and married the first guy I had ever been with, so I didn't get to do all of the fun and exciting things that a lot of other girls my age did. I'm fine with it, and even though I'm no longer with my first hubby I love him for giving me my firstborn, Reagan. So I guess I really don't miss much since I never got to do much. Now, I regret that I never went to college or got settled into a career and made sure I was making good money before I decided to go and have all of these babies lol... but I wouldn't trade one of them for the world.

Joined: 10/05/09
Posts: 672

Yeah sometimes I miss just taking 5 minutes to myself when we've had a particularly bad night or I am feeling crappy. But that usually passes very quickly. I also miss my outdoor activities (running, paddling, horseback riding), but I know it's only temporary that I can't do them (much) so I am not upset over it. Oh, I also miss eating out - being on my special diet I stay away from restaurants because you never know what you're gonna get.
I also feel that I've done a lot before getting pregnant, and I am very happy with the way things are now Smile
That being said, I feel fully occupied with one baby, having two at the same time must be pretty exhausting.

fireflies11's picture
Joined: 03/26/11
Posts: 613

"Starryblue702" wrote:

Now, I regret that I never went to college or got settled into a career and made sure I was making good money before I decided to go and have all of these babies lol... but I wouldn't trade one of them for the world.

ha! I DID go to college, get settled into a career before having babies. Now I hate my job and I make too much money to change careers lol (at least now anyway)! I love that I went to college when I had no other obligations because it was so easy, but I graduated at 21 and had no idea what I wanted in life at such a young age. I've learned that I have to embrace my 20-something me & the choices I made as a part of who I am (just like you said). Now I want to go back & get my masters!