Those dealing with bad PP tears (lurkers welcome)

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.hilary.'s picture
Joined: 01/31/10
Posts: 1505
Those dealing with bad PP tears (lurkers welcome)

You ladies on Facebook already read about my struggles with this, sorry to repeat! But if there is anyone else out there with some thoughts on this...

So, I think I might be actually getting depressed over my difficult recovery. I plan to talk to my midwife about it at my next appointment. I should have been discharged from here after my 6 week PP appointment (which actually happened just after 7 weeks due to scheduling) but she is keeping me on as a patient because I am not recovered and she would like to see me again at 10 weeks PP. I'm not cleared to exercise or do anything strenuous really. I had significant internal tears, an external third degree tear, and an episiotomy. And a catheter which I think caused additional irritations. Anyway the tears caused me to lose about a litre of blood and they almost gave me a transfusion. I was in hospital for four days after the birth before they let me go home. They don't even keep c-section recoveries in hospital that long here. Then about a week and a half after the birth I overdid it at home one day and hemorrhaged, my midwife just about sent me to the ER but luckily the bleeding stopped on it's own pretty quickly, it was just a lot at once. Finally after about four weeks of extra strength tylenol and ibuprofen taken around the clock (even in my sleep deprivation I would wake at odd hours of the night when my alarm went off to take my meds!) I was able to scale it back a little and just take a few during the day. Then at about 6.5 weeks PP my bleeding finally stopped. I still had a lot of pain but could manage.

But then at 8 weeks PP I was doing a lot of housework and suddenly felt a a sharp increase in pain, and then I was bleeding again for a couple days. I overdid it somehow again...just doing housework!!!! My pain is still enough that sometimes I have to stop and sit down, still have to take my meds, sometimes it hurts enough that I can't sleep. The lt physical exam I had showed everything was healing nicely, I guess there's just a lot to heal. But I never thought it would take this long, I never thought I would still be in this much pain. Has anyone else gone through something similar? Did you eventually feel normal again? I feel like I will never walk or sit comfortably, never be close to my DH again, never be able to exercise!! I guess I just need some hope or something because I am really down about all this. Next appointment my midwife will do an internal exam and maybe I will have more answers then.

Sorry that was really long!!!!

Joined: 04/10/11
Posts: 1703

I'm sorry you're feeling so much pain. I have no idea what's normal. I had a catheter, a third degree front-to-back, and hemorrhoids like nobody's business. My ladybits stopped bleeding at 6 weeks and the butt at 8 weeks. Now at 10 weeks I can wipe and wash normally and can also sit on the floor. Yay! I don't exercise intentionally yet (but I push the stroller around some days and carry two car seats). I get random short-lived sharp pains sometimes. What hasn't recovered yet is my ability to feel when I just sort of have to go to the bathroom so I only go a couple of times a day and it's when I'm bursting with pee or poo. Oh and I am in no danger of getting pregnant again.

.hilary.'s picture
Joined: 01/31/10
Posts: 1505

Oh, I am the same way with the hemorrhoids. I am still bleeding and having a lot of pain from them too Sad I have lost the ability to really feel when I have to go too. I am glad I'm not the only one dealing with stuff like this, though I am sorry you have to go through it too. I tried to do some kegel exercises yesterday hoping to strengthen things, but I barely managed to do one really weak one and it hurt, so enough of that!!

beccasweet's picture
Joined: 04/10/11
Posts: 679

I did not have a bad tear and at my 6 week pp appt my midwife said everything looked fully healed but last week when we were moving and cleaning I had one evening where my pelvis and vaginal area hurt so bad I couldn't walk. I figured I just over did things moving boxes. I had the same thing happen after our longest day driving. I hope you start to feel lots better soon. Just try to focus on small steps. It's probably too cold out to exercise much right now anyway so just curl up with a good book or your daughter and let your body heal a little more.

Starryblue702's picture
Joined: 04/06/11
Posts: 5454

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this Hilary. My worst delivery was my first, as I had an epesiotomy and two internal tears. I cried for about three weeks whether trying to go to the restroom (especially #2) or just sitting down. I bled for a long time, was on medication, the whole enchilada. I definitely didn't go through everything you're going through though, and therefore can't offer you any advice other than just to try and take it easy. Don't do any strenuous housework. Luckily you don't have to work right now and only have your one precious angel to take care of, so that's good. Let your DH (or SO, I can't remember if you're married or not!) take care of anything that you're not able to. Hopefully you'll hear some good news at your next appt, and make sure to let her know how you've been feeling lately!

mlle_carrie's picture
Joined: 07/17/05
Posts: 1134

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this Hilary. I know it's been a huge struggle for you. I had third degree tearing and an episiotomy, but my recovery was pretty easy I guess. Don't ask me how in the world I came out without any hemmorhoids. It makes me wonder if the person who did your stitches did it properly. I have no idea about any of this though. Maybe the stitches have nothing to do with it. I had a week or so of soreness (difficulty sitting for long periods of time, going to the bathroom, etc.) but everything checked out fine at my 6 week PP appointment. DH and I tried to DTD twice now and it was pretty painful. It really bummed me out. I feel like it's going to take a lot of time to get back to where we were. It was strange, when we were doing it, it was like I could feel exactly where my tearing had occurred. I guess I don't really have any good advice here. Just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and I hope you can start to feel better soon.


fireflies11's picture
Joined: 03/26/11
Posts: 613


So sorry you are going through this! i have no experience with tears since I had 2 c-sections. I did want to add to what Carrie is saying that maybe there was something stitched wrong. I would encourage you to continue to speak up about your pain to your doctor until it is resolved! With my first c-section I was in pain for years after! I just dealt with it. However, my OB told me that I was stitched up wrong!! She discovered it with my second c-section (she didn't do the first) and was able to fix it. This time around I have no pain in that area. This pain may be your body's way of alerting you that something isn't right.

Again, I'm so sorry you're going through this!! Hugs!

I'm_a_pepper's picture
Joined: 10/25/05
Posts: 606

I agree with the is very possible that there is something "not right". I had a vag. birth with my first and there was no time for an episiotomy. I tore up into my vagina instead of back toward the rectum. DTD was so painful for months after...I was like Carrie, I could feel where the stitches/tearing had been. I mentioned it to my doc when I went in for my regular pap a few months later, and he was able to use some silver nitrate and burn off some scar tissue. It really did help. Not saying that this is your problem, I'm sure yours is much more painful and it sounds like you may need a more thorough examination to find out the problem. HUGS!! Hope you get some answers at your appt!

.hilary.'s picture
Joined: 01/31/10
Posts: 1505

Thank you so much helps a lot to vent and hear some empathy. My DH tries hard to be supportive but he doesn't understand what it's like (how can he, he's a man!! Lol!) and so it is just nice to get it out to some other women once and awhile. His responses usually just frustrate me more. At least he is very patient and understanding and knows it will be awhile before things are normal again. It's just depressing. I was evaluated for PPD by a nurse today when we took Elaina in for immuniaztions and I am "right on the edge" according to their little score sheet. I have no doubt it's related to my recovery, but I am also seeing a counselor once a month for reasons related to my traumatic delivery and hopefully she can help with this issue too.

And I tried to take a really good look at things last night and I agree with you all that maybe some stitching wasn't done right, or done too tight. I think it is some bad scar tissue causing me pain. I will check with the midwife and see what she thinks. One day at a time, I guess, eh??

Joined: 10/05/09
Posts: 672

I am so sorry that sounds absolutely terrible to go through!! I had an episotomy and a 2nd degree internal tear, but my pain was gone around 4 weeks pp. My mom had internal tearing with by brother, and she said the scar tissue was giving her sharp pains for a long time afterwards. Did they check with a scope or something what was going in internally? I wonder if some of the internal tears are not healing well. I really wish you a speed recovery - that is so miserable to STILL deal with!!

Panonim's picture
Joined: 11/11/05
Posts: 439

Hilary, I am late replying to this but wanted to give you my thoughts, although it may not be what you want to hear. With my first baby I had a 4th degree tear due to forceps. I did not have the significant bleeding that you had though. I had many weeks of pain afterwards. I remember being so upset & depressed because I couldn't even sit or walk comfortably. I also remember questioning whether the area was healing normally. My family doc checked it at the 6wk visit, then again a few weeks later I think, and reassured me that it looked like it was healing quite normally.

In the end, it took over a year before I was completely back to normal. Somewhere between 12 and 18 months postpartum was when I was finally able to say, I am 100% back to normal. I had NO idea it would really take that long. I know that sounds like forever to you now, but the good news is that I DID go back to normal in every respect in that area.

There are moms who have more complications after a severe injury like that, and maybe you are one, or hopefully you're not. All I can say is that you should keep bringing it up with your doctor/MW so that the area can continue to be checked. If something is not healing right, there are definitely corrective procedures that can be done. But keep in the back of your mind that this is something that can honestly just take a really, really long time to heal. It would have been reassuring if I'd known that it really would go back to normal some day.

Also, just FWIW, my second baby was bigger, delivered with no drugs, 2 years after my first birth, and I only had barely a 1st degree abrasion with him. My third baby was smaller, also no drugs, and had a minor 1st degree tear with him. So don't get too discouraged about future births either! I know it's so hard to see into the future and consider going through it all again. Try and think positive and know that you are not "doomed" to pain and discomfort forever!

.hilary.'s picture
Joined: 01/31/10
Posts: 1505

Nicole...thank you SO MUCH for replying! Especially being able to give me your experience with 2nd and 3rd kids, because that is really a fear of mine, but I am glad to hear is possible to do this all again and not come out the other side so ruined. I need that kind of hope!

Anyway I had my midwife check it thoroughly at my last appointment, 10weeks PP. she said it all looked like it was healing fine, just that the skin was very irritated and angry-looking which was probably part of all my pain. Especially on my internal tears. So I have some prescriptions to help that. And I will be seeing a physiotherapist eventually to help with pelvic floor weakness. I pushed for four hours, so by the end of it I was well and truly done. I also see my midwife again in two never thought I'd be seeing her at 12 weeks PP. But it is for the best and she makes me feel so well cared for! and I will be sure to stay on top of this and make sure it continues to heal well and know that it will be normal again. Thanks for the support Smile