I gave DS his first time out today because he was disobeying me repeatedly by messing around with our cat's food and water fountain despite me telling him no sternly, removing him and trying to distract him with other stuff. He did this yesterday too and I was worried this was starting to become a game for him and he wouldn't know that when I say no or stop that I really meant it. Since we are not spanking (kind of new territory for me since I grew up with parents and grandparents who spanked) I decided to use time out as last resort.
I put him in his crib for one minute because I thought that is what I recalled to do from Happiest Toddler on the Block. He cried during the time out but seems to be steering clear of the food and water for most part now. I did have to give him a stern no when he wandered over there once more but he backtracked immediately so I'm hoping he made the connection.
Are you doing time outs yet? What is your method? Also if anyone happens to own Happiest Toddler on the Block, do you know specifically what he recommended for this age group regarding time outs? I checked it out from library couple of months ago but I should just buy it because I liked his methods for dealing with tantrums, etc.
I don't use timeouts. "Disobedience" at this age is merely expanding their boundaries, trying new things, and checking for reactions. I definitely use NO to stop an action immediately, but then quickly move on to distractions and teach them what they can and should do. Distractions work sometimes, but it's also important for me to be clear about what they CAN do. I'm amazed every day by how quickly they learn and want to help. So, for instance, maybe your son can't play with the cat food, but he CAN help you pour the food when it's time and he CAN help you dump out the water bowl and get new water. I also learned that I can put a baby gate between the dog bowl and the kids and avoid the whole issue most of the time. It takes a lot more time and patience to teach what I do want and expect from them rather than use punishments, but ultimately I'm not trying to teach blind obedience.
Sorry, these were the more effective articles I meant to link to! http://www.ahaparenting.com/parentin...ive-discipline
That definitely sounds super frustrating. And I'm not in a good place today to make suggestions sound the way I want them to sound so I'm truly sorry if I sound like a jerk, but it sounds frustrating so I hope you won't mind if I throw out ideas! I feel like that's what I always need to do with my new mom-friends that get it since our kids are newly on the move. How about ... Putting the food up high? Only feeding the cat at particular times when you can watch the babe? Using a gate with wide openings that the cat can get through? Putting the food at the back of a crate or upside down box with a small cutout door? And for the kiddo, since he loves playing with the food, what about redirecting to some beans in a dish to play with (a "you can't touch those because they belong to Kitty, but let's play with this" type of thing)? Making the little box inside a crate-type-thing and putting the food directly on top of it since there isn't additional floor space?
I really do appreciate all your suggestions. I'm used to adapting stuff for my patients and when I had a disabled cat, you would think I could come up with a good solution for this situation, but the frustration probably zapped my creativity. I read the articles and even bookmarked her main webpage for future reference. Well, tomorrow is a new day, hope it goes better for us all. Thanks.
We use methods similar to what Sheila does. But we have been pretty lucky in that Evelyn tends to listen pretty well. We have noticed her pushing boundaries a lot more lately. If she doesn't stop doing what we ask, we typically just remove her from the area and then she knows we mean business. But, like Sheila said, I also let her know what she CAN do, like scooping food into the cat bowl, or playing with pots and pans in the kitchen instead of playing in the cats' water.
Ugh we are in the same boat. DS does not listen AT ALL. He thinks it's funny when I say no, even when I follow it up with actions (i.e., remove him from the area, take something away he's not supposed to have). He will throw mini-tantrums too, screeching and throwing himself on the floor! This kid is strong-willed already... I am scared to see what happens in a year or two.
My strategy is to say no, and if he doesn't listen remove him or whatever he has that he's not supposed to have. Example: he will try to climb into the dishwasher when I'm loading it. I say no, then have to remove him from it because of course he just smirks at me. This process might repeat itself 5-10 times at which point I'm usually done loading the dishwasher or have given up and have closed it.