Kinda regretting telling people

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kristycoulter1's picture
Joined: 05/20/08
Posts: 625
Kinda regretting telling people

Now that I've told my family and a couple of close friends I'm nervous and kind of regretting telling anyone. I know it's silly - because mc could happen at any time - but I think I'll feel much better once I pass the 5w5d mark where I had my mc. Ugh. I hate this beginning. Can't wait to get to 2T.

Joined: 06/18/11
Posts: 1425

Big hugs. I think it's hard because we want to feel supported, but at same time, there's never any guarantees. Sad

glwolf's picture
Joined: 09/26/11
Posts: 928

i know how you feel! I had a MC as my 1st pregnancy so i felt like i didn't even know if i could carry a baby. so when I got pg with my daughter i was scared I would MC. then at 16 weeks i started bleeding and was put on bedrest and I was terrified! she's was perfect though and I carried her full term so you never know! I'm sure you will be fine this time around Smile ((((((hugs))))))

DrakePlusOne's picture
Joined: 06/29/09
Posts: 1889

Kristie, I totally get that too. When I got my BFP a few months ago, we agreed to only tell our parents and I'm sure we'll do the same again..... whenever that is.... I wanna tell everyone when I see those two lines though!!

mandy-329's picture
Joined: 06/22/09
Posts: 44

We have only told our parents so far. I want to tell more people b/c we're so excited but it's still so early and the thought of a m/c scares the crap out of me (although I have no history of one)...you just never know!

claireCJ's picture
Joined: 04/04/12
Posts: 742

I totally understand what you are saying! It's so hard not to tell, but then it's hard to tell people too b/c you worry something may happen! The thought of something bad happening is always the worst part of pregnancy for me. We lost our baby at 20 weeks last year. The cord was tangled around his neck, arm, and ankle. It was a freak accident. Sad I am trying to hard not to panic about something happening this time, but I feel scared too. I can't imagine telling my work or family that something happened again. I am trying to just focus on the good stuff and hope that this time all goes well. I hope you have a HH9M!!! I hope that for everyone on this board! Smile

rmc
rmc's picture
Joined: 07/27/03
Posts: 340

Although I have not had a miscarriage it weighs on my mind everytime I have been pregnant. We are holding out until my kiddos birthday party to tell most of the family where I will be about 10 weeks. I do not want to take away from someone's wedding a couple weeks later. I did already HAVE to tell my mom though and my direct boss and one close friend all who will not share. Wink

By the way, I am Robin and have been lurking so far. This 3rd pregnancy was a surprise.

Joined: 04/30/09
Posts: 2257

((HUGS)) I can totally understand why you're nervous. I always go back and forth on when to tell people. You want to share the excitement but at the same time you want to feel comfortable too.

Joined: 06/18/11
Posts: 1425

"rmc" wrote:

Although I have not had a miscarriage it weighs on my mind everytime I have been pregnant. We are holding out until my kiddos birthday party to tell most of the family where I will be about 10 weeks. I do not want to take away from someone's wedding a couple weeks later. I did already HAVE to tell my mom though and my direct boss and one close friend all who will not share. Wink

By the way, I am Robin and have been lurking so far. This 3rd pregnancy was a surprise.

Robin, I know you from JuneBugs!

mandynz's picture
Joined: 01/29/12
Posts: 755

Argh, I know what you mean Kristy. I am nearly at our mc milestone, and I have seen a hb but I am still nervous! Bring on the second trimester!!

Astolate's picture
Joined: 07/16/06
Posts: 433

I can totally understand that, I've told our family and a few close friends - there are a few other people I want to tell but I haven't, and I haven't announced it on FB yet. It really hit me the other day that I'm still super early and I could mc, and now I totally regret telling some of the people I did. I'll feel so much better about it once I see a HB on Monday! Biggrin

Kier's picture
Joined: 03/12/12
Posts: 1973

:lurk:

I announced my first 3 pregnancies as soon as I saw the BFP's. With my 2nd, I got a lot of flack from my step sister for telling people as soon as I got a BFP. What I told her was "So? I want to share my excitement, and if I am to lose this baby, then I will also need their support." She shut up pretty quick.

This time around we decided to just tell a couple of people close to us, that we knew would share in our excitement. I had gotten some not so nice comments when I was having complications with my 3rd pregnancy, so I was a little gun shy. Last thursday we went in and had an awesome, surprising, ultrasound (I was having sharp pains on my right side... turned out to be ligament and bladder pains). The tech was surprised to see the baby at all with being so early, let alone seeing a heartbeat through my abdomen Smile

There is always a chance that something could go wrong... the thing you have to keep in mind is that the majority of them are rare, and you cant let the possibility of something going wrong keep you from enjoying it in the mean time :love1:

Joined: 10/28/11
Posts: 43

When to tell is such a tricky one. We have always waited until an u/s at 12 weeks to start sharing the news and in December 3 weeks after we started telling everyone we experienced a miscarriage. I honestly do not know what I would have done without the support of the people around me. I can't imagine having gone back to work with everyone thinking I was just off sick given what I was going through. For me "untelling" people really was part of the healing process. So I don't think telling people who are close to you (family and friends) early is necessarily a bad thing.

That being said, because we have experienced a miscarriage we feel less like our news is exciting news this time. We know that our family and friends will worry so we have decided not to tell anyone right now but more to spare them the worry than anything else. I sometimes feel like it is unfair to this baby but after having my miscarriage I see pregnancy as a means to an end and not a joyous event....it's unfair but unfortunately nothing about miscarriage is fair.

Joined: 10/10/06
Posts: 66

I agree... We just found out today we are expecting, and part of me wants to shout it from the roof top, and the other part of me is screaming to be cautious and keep it to ourselves.... >

Joined: 06/18/11
Posts: 1425

Mom2anb-

I understand your fears. I hope that you will still find joy in each day of your pregnancy.

claireCJ's picture
Joined: 04/04/12
Posts: 742

"Mom2AandB" wrote:

When to tell is such a tricky one. We have always waited until an u/s at 12 weeks to start sharing the news and in December 3 weeks after we started telling everyone we experienced a miscarriage. I honestly do not know what I would have done without the support of the people around me. I can't imagine having gone back to work with everyone thinking I was just off sick given what I was going through. For me "untelling" people really was part of the healing process. So I don't think telling people who are close to you (family and friends) early is necessarily a bad thing.

That being said, because we have experienced a miscarriage we feel less like our news is exciting news this time. We know that our family and friends will worry so we have decided not to tell anyone right now but more to spare them the worry than anything else. I sometimes feel like it is unfair to this baby but after having my miscarriage I see pregnancy as a means to an end and not a joyous event....it's unfair but unfortunately nothing about miscarriage is fair.

I understand what you are saying. (((HUGS)))