Annoying Mother/ QotD 4.24

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Maddz's picture
Joined: 08/17/07
Posts: 1759
Annoying Mother/ QotD 4.24

So when I had my DS1 my mom was lurking over me and it was annoying. I held Riley for a short about of time before my mom asked for him and I said that DS1 needed to hold him first and she said, "well hurry up and hold him so i can." and so right away tyler (ds1 dad) held him and for a short amount of time and then he went to my mom and around the room.

Because of this I decided I didn't think I wanted anyone at the hospital for delivery. DH Pat had already felt this way to begin with before I even told him that story. My mom was here visiting today and it somehow came up and I said that we aren't letting anyone in the delivery room and we kinda got into an argument with her and she called DH my ex (it's offensive because everyone hates him) and she ended up throwing a small tantrum and leaving.

It makes me not want to let her see us at the hospital AT ALL. We told her we are going to get people take turns once I'm in the recovery room. I think that's fair!

What are your delivery room/ recovery room plans for visitors?

BokkieNYC's picture
Joined: 08/15/11
Posts: 1106

I have always felt that the new parents should have time alone with the baby on the birth day. We only visited my SIL about 6 hours after she'd given birth and even then I waited for her to offer to let me hold Caitie. I just don't think it's right to take the baby away from the new parents, even if it is just to hold the baby.

DH will definitely be in the delivery/birthing room We haven't discussed having anyone else there yet. His mom wouldn't ever consider being there. She's very proper and a little bit of a hermit. I think my mom will want to be there but I'm not sure. My OB's practice has an in-house doula and I think her plus DH will be more than enough for me.

laneybug's picture
Joined: 09/29/08
Posts: 37

We're not sure. On one hand I would like my mother there but I know she won't because she believes delivery should be a time for the new father and mother. I know that DH's parents would love to be there but his dad is a bit over-bearing. Chances are we'll end up calling everyone when the baby has arrived and doing it just us.

CaityA83's picture
Joined: 05/08/09
Posts: 855

With DS we made sure everyone knew that it would just be us in the delivery room and that we wanted at least the first hour together before we let anyone else in the room. It ended up working out well bc he was born at 6:20 in the morning so everyone stopped by on their way to work around 8.

My mom did want to be in the delivery room but I had just told her that I didn't want that for our first baby. I would like for this one to go the same as with DS. It will probably be just us and for at least the first hour so we can experience those first moments and becoming a family before we let others in. So far nobody has mentioned this yet. I am very modest and prude and honestly just don't want that many ppl checking out my sassy business...

grovey2's picture
Joined: 04/08/08
Posts: 938

With DD it was just me and DH- I had a complicated delivery and thankfully my parents were in the waiting room, so they hung out with us while we were waiting to see how I did.....

For this one it ill be me and DH again....I don't know what we will do with DD yet- if she will hang with us for a bit or what....she will be with my parents my mom will at least be there .....when I'm actually pushing its going to be just me and dh

lizzib45's picture
Joined: 12/06/08
Posts: 957

With DS my hubby was deployed in Afghanistan so my mom was in the delivery room and saw everything. Even though I told the nurses I only wanted those in scrubs IE not my mom down getting a full view. But midst of pushing the nurse called her over to watch and I didnt care since I was so focused.
This time my mom will be watching DS so it will just be hubby and I. I have slightly toyed with the idea of MIL being there for it since SIL will never have kids. But I am not that close to mil but I think every grandma would like to be there. I haven't brought that up yet to hubby. Plenty of time to change my mind without committing to it with her.

lizzib45's picture
Joined: 12/06/08
Posts: 957

Thank u iPhone for this post in triplicate

lizzib45's picture
Joined: 12/06/08
Posts: 957

Duplicate again

irskamaminka's picture
Joined: 02/23/08
Posts: 99

My mom will be in the states so it is a moot point, but even though we are very close, I don't think I would want her there until a few hours after the birth. The birth itself- NO WAY. And I feel like those few hours afterwards were so crucial to bonding and figuring out bf'ing and all that for us. I just want that space again to be a family.

Now, if only I could figure out a way to keep my MIL at bay. Wink