May I come back?

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Last seen: 2 years 8 months ago
Joined: 11/30/08
Posts: 225
May I come back?

Hi all,

I haven't posted in a very long time, but I was wondering if you guys mind if I come back to the board? My life has been crazy, and every time I try to log in I have to reset my password, so I haven't bothered with it for a while. I really miss having friends on a birth board, and I think with the summer ending I will be able to dedicate some more time to figuring out the password thing, so I can get active here again. I often lurk and read the posts, but can't respond to anything because I can't logged in. I'm familiar with some of you, and look forward to getting to know others. I searched but couldn't find my original intro, but I did find myself on the Gender and Due Date thread.

Quick intro: I am 30 years old. I was married for six years. Unfortunately, some issues came up at the end, and after a year in various religuous and marriage counseling sessions, I left. We have one little boy together, who was born May 2010 (see May 2010 Moonbeam forum). Three weeks after I left, I found out I was pregnant with our second and long awaited child. Since my reasons for leaving had nothing to do with our child/children, going back because I was pregnant didn't seem logical. So I filed papers, which he contested, and we are now in a contested divorce battle. I am very grateful to have the blessing of my parents, whom my little boy and I share a house with. They live upstairs, we live downstairs, and we all share the kitchen. It works out very well, and it's wonderful to be so close to them during this. My little boy is three years old, very high energy, and wicked smart. At two, he was put into the four year old class in his daycare/preschool. Right now we are working on potty training. He understands the concepts, but simply has no motivation to change. It's slow, but just today we've had more successes than accidents. I am SO grateful to have him. Nothing heals my like one of his hugs. I work full time for a big financial agency doing IT provisioning for traders. It can be intense sometimes, but they are flexible with me on my schedule and I can take any time I need off. Because my divorce is contested, I am receiving no financial support from my FH, which means I am paying all child care, child raising, etc costs on my own. I'm pretty darn broke, but I refuse to consider myself poor. Thankfully, my FH is a fantastic dad to our son. I consider it a blessing to have such a great dad for my son, and a blessing to me to have a great co-parent. Sadly, FH had a poor reaction to my pregnancy, and is only just now accepting the baby is his. I believe (hope) it is simply taking him time to get used to, and I'm really hoping he will be as wonderful of a dad to our little girl as he is to our little boy. Whew, that was a lot!

My pregnancy: I had a pretty rough first four months. I have pretty bad morning sickness, and on top of it that's when I had left my home and FH. I was staying on the couch at a friend's apt until I could get into somewhere permanent. I would miss entire weeks of work because I was so sick. I didn't sleep well because I was on a couch. I was a complete mess emotionally. It was awful, and I'm so glad it's over! At this point, things are significantly improved from what they were. I no longer have morning sickness, and that makes everything easier to handle. I was sleeping better being in a real bed, but I'm entering the stage of not being able to get comfortable so sleep is beginning to get less and less. I am carrying higher and more forward this time, so I feel huge. I often feel pressure in my right ribs, and a lot of times stretch out just to get a deep breath. I have a yoga ball at home and at work, and that's helps a lot. I have been feeling her move for quite a while, and other people are able to feel her now too. My sciatic nerve has been acting up for several weeks. I don't see it getting any better, so another reason I'm grateful for my yoga ball.

I am having a really hard time picking a name for her. I thought I had it narrowed down to three names, and a for sure middle name, but then I didn't like any of it and scrapped it all. I now have a list of 15 names long. I have a few that are standing out, so I'm working on those. I need to say them out loud, right them down, google them to see if there's anything horrible associated with someone of that name, check the initials, all of that. It was really hard picking a name for my little boy, so I'm not surprised at the difficulty I'm having picking a name for my little girl. It's not for lack of trying though lol

I plan to birth as natural as I can. I had originally chosen a homebirth, but my insurance has changed and that's no longer an option. So I'm birthing at the closest hospital, with the midwives there. I will use HypnoBabies with this birth, just as did with my last one. (That is another story in itself.) I don't know if my FH will be in attendance or not, but I am setting up a support network of my mom, my sister, and a friend. Also, I have a doula that is willing to trade services with me (I will do work for her for a specific time frame of hours and she will provide me with doula services.) I give birth VERY quickly, and I expect this one to be the same. I also plan to co-sleep/side sleep, breastfeed (and pump when I return to work), baby wear, and any other natural parenting methods that feel right to me. My due has moved all over the place- Dec 6, Dec 12, Dec 22. I guessed the middle of Dec, and my babies are usually a week late, so I think she will be here around Dec 20th.

I would love to be someone's birth buddy, and join the gift exchange, if you guys are comfortable with it. I hosted the gift exchange on my Moonbeam board, and it was a blast. I am still in contact with my birth buddy from last time, and several other moms from my other board. Like I said, I want to jump back and be part of the group again.

Okay, it's time for me to get off the computer. I need to get little man some lunch so he can go to the aquarium with Papa (his grandpa) and then to his dad's house for the night. I plan to have an easy rest of the day, because I've been working around the house most of the morning. I hope you all have a wonderful day!

PS I will be lurking and keeping up with everyone. I'm going to work on getting this password thing sorted out, so give me some time if I don't respond to any posts for a bit.

grovey2's picture
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Last seen: 1 year 8 months ago
Joined: 04/08/08
Posts: 938

Welcome back and congrats on your new little girl. Sign up for whatever you'd like. Ill be posting a official sign up for birth buddies soon, but am waiting for those who have shown interest to get their post numbers up. I'm hoping to do that in sept.
we have a poll for our board name up and it will be closing soon--- sign up for gift exchange is up too.

Maddz's picture
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Last seen: 2 years 8 months ago
Joined: 08/17/07
Posts: 1759

I'm so sorry about all the hardship. I remember ya! Smile I'm glad you've joined us again and that life will indeed slow down a bit for you! You've been through a lot mama! Hang in there Smile We'd love to have you join in what ever you would like Smile We're glad to have you around. If you will update the boards (if you haven't already) I will make sure all information is correct. Congrats on the baby girl! Smile

Mom2009's picture
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Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
Joined: 04/29/13
Posts: 474

Glad to see you again!! Sorry to hear about your struggles, but hopefully everything will start looking up for you!!

Congrats on team pink!! Smile

CaityA83's picture
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Last seen: 6 months 3 weeks ago
Joined: 05/08/09
Posts: 855

I'm so glad to see you back!! I've been wondering how things were going with you and the separation!! I'm sorry to hear that it has been so difficult but I'm glad you are getting your feet under you again! Congrats on the girl! It amazes me how similar our stories are. I had to ask my DH to leave today bc of safety reasons Sad It's very difficult!

Well I'm glad to have you back and I hope you can get the messy divorce over with soon so you can focus on your new little pink bundle!!

BokkieNYC's picture
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Last seen: 1 year 5 months ago
Joined: 08/15/11
Posts: 1106

Welcome back and congrats on being in Team Pink!

I've wanted to reach out to you a number of times to find out how you're doing since I read your original self-intro but just wasn't sure how to.... I'm sorry to hear that things have only got worse so far with the divorce. I am so happy to hear that you have a good support system tho! Your little DS sounds like a real treasure!

BokkieNYC's picture
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"CaityA83" wrote:

I had to ask my DH to leave today bc of safety reasons Sad It's very difficult!

Caity, I am so saddened to hear this! I hope things work out for the best, whatever that ends up being.

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Last seen: 1 year 11 months ago
Joined: 04/03/13
Posts: 483

Welcome back. Congratulations on your little girl. Hopefully you can get your divorce handled soon. Names are hard. One thing I did was post the two I liked on facebook and asked people which they liked. It helpedme finally make a decision. But the nice thing is you still have time to figure it out before she is here.

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Last seen: 2 years 8 months ago
Joined: 11/30/08
Posts: 225

Thanks ladies!

I heard back from Missy today, and it looks as though the password issue is corrected. I should be able to stay active and involved again.

I have updated everywhere I found on the board, with my guess date, apts, details, etc. And I've joined in some of the chats.

And now that I've done all that, I should get back to work lol Have a great day!

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Last seen: 1 year 11 months ago
Joined: 04/03/13
Posts: 483

Glad you got everything straightened out. Im still trying to hear back on if I get my post count and date back from my name before.

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Last seen: 2 years 8 months ago
Joined: 11/30/08
Posts: 225

So much for that idea. Looks like I'm still having an issue with my password. Had to reset it again because I couldn't get logged in for days. So, I'll be in and out until it's fixed.