My Weekend (previous m/c ment)
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Thread: My Weekend (previous m/c ment)

  1. #1
    Mega Poster Maddz's Avatar
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    Default My Weekend (previous m/c ment)

    Went to SLC this weekend to visiting my BIL and SIL. They just had a baby in April. It was an okay trip. My morning sickness decided to hit HARD while there. The trip up wasn't too bad but while there it was rough....

    I threw up quite a bit and could hardly eat anything. I stuck mostly to salad and fruit which didn't fill my tummy for long. :/ It's rough. And Then I had a sinus infection hit me in the face. I'm heading to the Dr today to get some prescription and maybe asked to be referred to an ENT (I get them 7+ times a year mostly).

    I had a hard time holding the baby. I didn't want to get her sick but also the first time I held her I just wanted to cry. I almost broken down a few times in tears... I worry that I will have a hard time holding my own baby... Loosing Kamdyn was really hard on me. I got to hold him and spend time with him after I had him even though he wasn't alive. He was so tiny. DH thinks I'll be okay if it is our own... but I worry. I want to be able to go to baby showers for friends and feel excited about mine... It's going to be a rough journey. I might go to the support group this month. He was due May 26th so it's a hard month.

    Anyway.... I took my Thursday belly photo so I need to post it.... I'll bbl. I gotta walk over the the drs (we sold DH's truck and so he takes the car to work if I can't wake up to drive him) It's like a block away anyway so not too bad.
    **Maddie **
    DH Patrick
    DS1 Riley James 04.13.08
    DS2 Kamdyn Carter 01.07.13
    Expecting Daxton Dash 12.19.13





  2. #2
    Mega Poster nidia's Avatar
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    Oh, Maddie. I am so sorry! I think you should go to a support group so you can start healing some more. All of us May ladies are here for you and you know you can talk to me any time!

    I hope your appt went well and can't wait to see your belly pic
    Maddz likes this.


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  3. #3
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    Maddie, processing a loss is a journey - you'll have good days and bad days. The very fact that you're processing it now will put you in a better place for this next baby, IMHO.

    Deep breaths - you're going to be ok. Not the same, never the same after a loss, but OK.

  4. #4
    Community Host lizzib45's Avatar
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    So sorry for your loss. Just take it day by day.
    Sara
    Tommy born 7/13/2010


    M/C June 2013 - 12 weeks
    #2 due 7.15.14 ! No FB comments... Shhhhh
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  5. #5
    Super Poster Mom2009's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry you had such a rough time of it! May the Lord bring you peace through all of this!
    Jana & Aaron
    DS - Braxton (4)




  6. #6
    Posting Addict Audgee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maddz View Post
    I had a hard time holding the baby. I didn't want to get her sick but also the first time I held her I just wanted to cry. I almost broken down a few times in tears... I worry that I will have a hard time holding my own baby... Loosing Kamdyn was really hard on me. I got to hold him and spend time with him after I had him even though he wasn't alive. He was so tiny. DH thinks I'll be okay if it is our own... but I worry.
    The worry never goes away until that new little one comes. I was further past my loss when I had my baby (my little guy was born a couple weeks shy of the 2nd anniversary of us losing his sister) - I was remarkable calm through out my pregnancy which I didn't expect. I think it is because I had been through the worst that could happen, so I felt like nothing worse could happen maybe?
    I had a c-section and the time from between getting into the OR and finally hearing him cry felt like an eternity and it was the hardest part of the whole 9 months. But that little cry and that little guy that was here, safe, healthy and ours, took away all the fear. Not to say that it didn't make me think of and miss my baby girl, but in a different way somehow (like I wished she was there waiting to meet her baby brother)

    Sorry to go on! But I know all too well how you are probably feeling. Give yourself some time on Kamdyn's due date - allow yourself to take the time for him. I have taken the anniversary of my loss as a day solely for her. The rest of the year I have to go on with life, be fully functional, etc - but that is her day, and I take it off work, and spend time by myself with my thoughts and allow myself the time to grieve as openly or privately as I need to.
    Audrey
    DH Sebastian
    DS Sawyer 4/1/06
    DD Payton too beautiful for this earth, born silently 7/19/09 at 33 wks
    DS Greyson 6/29/11
    DS Parker 4/14/14


  7. #7
    Posting Addict Audgee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maddz View Post
    I had a hard time holding the baby. I didn't want to get her sick but also the first time I held her I just wanted to cry. I almost broken down a few times in tears... I worry that I will have a hard time holding my own baby... Loosing Kamdyn was really hard on me. I got to hold him and spend time with him after I had him even though he wasn't alive. He was so tiny. DH thinks I'll be okay if it is our own... but I worry.
    The worry never goes away until that new little one comes. I was further past my loss when I had my baby (my little guy was born a couple weeks shy of the 2nd anniversary of us losing his sister) - I was remarkable calm through out my pregnancy which I didn't expect. I think it is because I had been through the worst that could happen, so I felt like nothing worse could happen maybe?
    I had a c-section and the time from between getting into the OR and finally hearing him cry felt like an eternity and it was the hardest part of the whole 9 months. But that little cry and that little guy that was here, safe, healthy and ours, took away all the fear. Not to say that it didn't make me think of and miss my baby girl, but in a different way somehow (like I wished she was there waiting to meet her baby brother)

    Sorry to go on! But I know all too well how you are probably feeling. Give yourself some time on Kamdyn's due date - allow yourself to take the time for him. I have taken the anniversary of my loss as a day solely for her. The rest of the year I have to go on with life, be fully functional, etc - but that is her day, and I take it off work, and spend time by myself with my thoughts and allow myself the time to grieve as openly or privately as I need to.
    Audrey
    DH Sebastian
    DS Sawyer 4/1/06
    DD Payton too beautiful for this earth, born silently 7/19/09 at 33 wks
    DS Greyson 6/29/11
    DS Parker 4/14/14


  8. #8
    Mega Poster CaityA83's Avatar
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    I'm sorry you're having such a tough time! I agree that the support group would probably be good. It always helps to know you're not alone! *Hugs*
    Caitlin & James
    11/11/07

    Corbin 3/25/11 - after 6 IUIs!
    Kenley 12/1/13 - Our SURPRISE!
    (3 sweet babies in heaven)

  9. #9
    Mega Poster Maddz's Avatar
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    Hey. Thanks girls. I am definitely struggling. Been crying A LOT but hangin in there. Going to go to the support group again this month for sure. And I am going to find a grief and loss counselor. I think hormones are making things worse but I am down for sure. I am doing okay for not being on my bi polar mess though
    **Maddie **
    DH Patrick
    DS1 Riley James 04.13.08
    DS2 Kamdyn Carter 01.07.13
    Expecting Daxton Dash 12.19.13





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