How do you defend EC?

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CaityA83's picture
Joined: 05/08/09
Posts: 855
How do you defend EC?

I would love to know what responses you have for people when they question what you are doing and why. I feel like I am always having to defend my sanity, if you will, about using CDs and ECing.

What brought this up is bc I posted on FB that DS had gone on the potty for the first time (about a month ago) and how proud I was of him and that it was one to write in his baby book... He was just over 3 months old at the time and I was thrilled that the practices I had read about were actually working. Of course, there are tons of skeptics and the biggest one is my b*tchy SIL who thinks its her job in life to tell everyone if she thinks they are wrong. She immediately commented and asked how on earth my 3 month old had gotten up, walked to the potty, and stood there peeing in it... I tried to make it funny and said of course he didn't walk to it and stand at 3 months old, that would just be crazy (can you see the humor here?). So she said that I can't write it in his baby book then and that it doesn't count. :rolleyes:

THANKFULLY I have AMAZING friends and they all came to my rescue and started attacking her (for lack of a better word) and that it was so rude and its not her baby book and that I was clearly just excited and looking for encouragement and that if she can't say anything nice don't say anything at all. One of my high school friends (who it turns out uses CDs and ECs) posted a youtube video of her son at 6 months old using his potty in perfect fashion, even though she has to lay him down, remove his dipe and set him on the potty (b/c of course at 6 months he can't walk!) She even said that he was been pooping on the potty twice a day for months (he is about 9 months old now).

I get comments a lot about using the potty. We only EC part time and really just at home... but i'm just wondering how you ladies explain it. I have a hard time figuring out how to not only defend it, but educate those who don't understand what its about and think I'm trying to "potty-train" my 4 month old.... :confused:

Minx_Kristi's picture
Joined: 01/02/09
Posts: 1261


Ok, first of all I don't EC and I only came across it when I saw your introduction post come up in the new post stream.

So, I have some questions for ya as someone who does not get it!

If it isn't potty training, what is it? Why do you do it? Is it to save laundry when CDing?

I am generally curious what it's all about!

Oh and I wouldn't let SIL get to you because you know why and what the benefits are so carry on with what feels right to you Smile


yipeeladybug's picture
Joined: 01/18/06
Posts: 1214

Hi Cait!! I think you are doing a fabulous job! I'm sorry your SIL had to comment on your FB post in such a negative rude fashion. I had a mommy friend who made some comment like that when I posted Evie's use of the potty at 6 mths of age....something about me being cruel.

Yeah, I defriended her, I don't need comments like that. You could hide your SIL's comments if you don't wish to see what she wrote.

Before I defriended my friend, I simply told her that Evie showed us she could hold her poop for a clean diaper at 6 mths old when being changed. At the time, she just started solids and was getting the worst diaper rash ever (and she only *maybe* had a mild diaper rash 3x before that). And that if she could hold it for a clean diaper, then she could hold it for a potty! Used the potty, never looked back.

And really, that is the truth about how DH and I stumbled into EC.

Usually my story is enough to silence those who want to criticize me for ECing Evie. Most comments I get are more like, "Wow, that's amazing! How do you do it?"

I hope that someday soon, you'll get more comments like the latter! I guarantee you, it will happen, when your "baby" can pretty much do his business, and other moms are stressing over their 3-4 yo kids' potty training. Just avoiding an unnecessary power struggle with Evie was more than enough benefit.

Good luck! I'm stalking you for your baby's EC progress! Wink

yipeeladybug's picture
Joined: 01/18/06
Posts: 1214

"Minx_Kristi" wrote:

If it isn't potty training, what is it? Why do you do it? Is it to save laundry when CDing?

I am generally curious what it's all about!

Kristi, it's not training in the conventional sense of the word, b/c really, how can you train a baby??? To me, it is simply recognizing your baby's signals when they want to pee and poop and helping them with clothes/getting to the toilet/etc. so that they can do their pee and poop.

For me, the biggest benefit wasn't saving money or landfills (I used CDs) or saving laundry. but helping Evie to keep awareness of pee and poop, so that she recognizes when she needs to use the potty all through her baby and toddlerhood, and me helping her with her toileting, until she can take care of all toileting aspects herself. It allowed me greater communication with her, simply by being more aware of her body language. The best thing was to teach her that toileting is a natural thing right from the get-go, don't have to put her dipes and then make her unlearn using dipes just to learn toileting.

A side benefit for Evie was that she

Cait - I have a book that I used when I EC'd Evie, I highly recommend it despite the granola crunchy tone in the first chapter or so of the book (altho interesting reading), I used it a lot, esp if I found EC to be challenging at times (which of course it will be, we are dealing with a baby - a little person, after all!). It is Diaper Free Baby by Christina Gross-Loh.

natesangel's picture
Joined: 07/26/08
Posts: 1419

first off congrats!!! i got a lot of neg comments at first too, one or two on my birth board of all places, along the same lines as your sil's comments. i just look at ppl and say this "how do you 'train' them to eat, walk, sleep through the night, or any of the other million things they learn?" all babies learn different things at different times and for some, the potty comes naturally, mine was one of them! as the term suggests it not so much potty training as true english 'elimination communication' i am teaching my child to communicate her bathroom needs with me the same way i teach her to communicate the rest of her needs (ie dirty diaper vs need to make diaper dirty!)

for us it was a simple case of the potty was on sale so we bought it while we could afford to! we like to at least show jade everything that comes into the house for her. she has always come into the bathroom with us so when she saw it she used it, it's been ongoing since then!

sarahsunshine's picture
Joined: 11/29/06
Posts: 1462

How do I defend it? I don't. I don't worry much about what other people think. I have been asked a few times and tried to come up with some "in case" retorts, but mostly I have people who are curious and astounded. My favourite retort currently (that I've never used) is "I don't like sitting in my own pee or poop. If you want to train your baby to, go ahead."

Kristi - Why do I do it? For many reasons. The initial reason was to do what was best for the environment. The eternal debate was "cloth or disposable" and which is better for the environment after the washing and drying. Then we were told about EC. DH travelled all around India and none of the babies there wored diapers, yet babies were everywhere. At the time, it never occurred to him. When I mentionned it to my mom, she said that when she was in Nigeria in the 60s, it was the same way. So we definitely had support.

We started from birth, and it was amazing how many preconseptions went out the window immediately. All those ideas that babies are helpless and can't communicate went out the window in short order. From the very beginning, every squawk meant "I have to pee", "Don't leave me by myself" or "I'm hungry". By taking baby to the bathroom, we could know exactly what was going on with him, if he was getting sick, had tummy troubles, how often he was peeing/pooping, what he could/couldnt digest. We could practically predict a belly ache. Also, because of the constant contact and knowing that his parents are attentive (I have DH's help), all 3 of our children are very happy and independent.

Not only all that, but the only time they have had diaper rashes is when teething or when they ate very acidic foods (oranges with DD).

Lastly, it saves money. We don't have diaper wipes, we just wash baby's bottom with clean water in the sink. This avoids buying wipes or disposable diapers, as well as doesn't bring baby in contact with the many chemicals that are in wipes and stuff (mostly alcohol, I know, unless you use home made wipes or special eco ones).

I guess, for us, it seems like it makes way more sense than disposable diapers. We use cloth, and we use disposables when we go out, but is our cost on diapers is $400 per baby, I'll eat a dirty diaper! I think for DS1, we would have been lucky to have used 3 packages of diapers by 14mo - and he was pretty much toilet trained by then.

Joined: 11/03/05
Posts: 748

My MIL said that DD was too young to be potty training at 4 months. Now, I think she is proud. I spoke to her mother, she was born on Scotland, and remembers helping her mother with her little siblings, holding them over news paper to pee.

If people ask, I tell them that babies are instinctively clean from birth, but we take that away from them by sticking them into diapers. I also explain how only a few generations ago, most kids were potty trained well before they were 2. Our kids today are no more stupid than back then.