Sad and emotional about weaning

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Kayla1981's picture
Joined: 01/04/07
Posts: 1529
Sad and emotional about weaning

I found out this last Wednesday that I'm pregnant. I'm thrilled that we got pregnant on our own after struggling with infertility and we are still in shock that it happened without us even trying. I want to do what is best for my body and our baby but I'm so sad that I'm having to wean before my daughter and I are ready. I had PTL, among other issues while pregnant with my daughter and so I've been advised by an LC as well as by OB's office to start weaning now. They said I could aim for weaning her fully in two weeks. :(:(:( It makes me cry every time I think about it. I was fully committed to nursing her until she turned two and she still relies on nursing to go to sleep for naps and bedtime. I don't think it will be a bad thing to help her find other ways to go to sleep but that is going to make the transition even harder. Nursing has definitely been a way for her to settle down and she has always been a comfort nurser.

I know I'm SO SO SO blessed to be pregnant. I just wish I could be pregnant and nurse too. I don't think anyone around me understands why it's so hard for me to let this part of our relationship go.

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

I'm sorry! HUGS

What is PTL? Why would you have to wean so quickly?

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043


CONGRATS on your pregnancy! I'm a little surprised they want you to wean so early in your PG due to PTL concerns. I would think that would be a reason to wean closer to the end of the second trimester but I could be completely wrong. Maybe put in a call to another OB just to get another opinion? In any case, welcoming another baby safely into your family is just about the best reason to wean.

Clarkton's picture
Joined: 01/07/08
Posts: 1972

Congratulations on your pregnancy! How very exciting. I hope you have a HH9M's. Smile

Regarding the early weaning...I'm so sorry you are having a tough time. I would feel the same way. I have also had PTL issues; with my first little guy arriving nearly 7 weeks early and the second one just over 3 weeks early (a success in my book :)). I also tend to start having BH's early, like 15 to 20 weeks, and doesn't make me any more calm with the PTL problem. I agree you need to wean early but if it were me I would probably target around the end of the first tri / start of the second. Of course, you should talk to the caregivers around you and take into consideration their recommendations but ultimately it's you who knows your body best. I found my doc was much more cautious than really necessary. You know, err on the side of overly safe type of mentality.

Good luck with whatever you decide. I hope the transition is fairly easy on you both. :bighug:

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

Congrats on your pregnancy! I also agree that I would seek a second opinion on weaning this early due to PTL fears ~ I was told by one Pedi when I found out that I was pregnant and my baby was only 5 months old and EBF to wean immediately. Luckily I got different advice from my LC and my OB ~ the two times I nursed during pregnancies my babies weaned themselves between 21 and 23 weeks after my milk changed over to colustrum.

This may sound weird, but I was simply unwilling to wean in the first trimester. I knew the odds of something maybe going wrong with the new pregnancy, and I was way scared of mourning a loss AND the early or forced termination of our nursing relationship.

Ask around. And I did not have PTL issues, so my situation may be different ~ but it can't hurt to even ask around about delaying weaning just a little bit, to make it easier on both of you! Please update how things are going!

mommycarrie's picture
Joined: 09/07/06
Posts: 358

(((hugs))) I'm so sorry that you're feeling sad - but I will add a few things. I weaned my son at 20mo (my choice, so I suppose I felt differently) but he did quite well. I think you will be surprised how well she will adjust. Secondly, my mother nursed me until I was 16mo, and I don't feel sad at all that she didn't make it to two years! I feel like I was lucky to have my mom nurse me for that long, and your daughter is lucky too! Biggrin

Congratulations on your pregnancy and good luck with the weaning... I hope it goes smoothly!

AmyJo86268's picture
Joined: 12/08/07
Posts: 1406

I mourn the weaning process for people I don't know. I also feel the relationship I have with DS2 nursing is totally less stable than the one I had with DS1. Take comfort that you will be able to nurse another little one in a short amount of time. Congrats on the pregnancy!

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

:grouphug: 2 weeks is very sudden. So sorry you're faced with this. I wonder how much the risk really is for nursing during the 1st tri with PTL. You really should celebrate how long you have nursed already!

Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

Kayla! Congrats on your pregnancy! But yes, I would feel so sad about weaning as well. even now, when my boys are 22mo. I hope the weaning transition goes well for you. Hopefully dh can be around and take over some of the bedtime routine, because my kids have always been so used to nursing right before bed, that I couldn't be there to put them to bed myself for a little while.

Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368

KAYLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congrats on your pregnancy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Reading this just made my evening!

But I am so sorry to hear about your weaning troubles. Sad Sounds like there might be a chance at not doing it quite so fast. Might be worth getting some other opinions. I hope you find a path through this that ends up feeling ok to you and Jordan. You are certainly not alone in feeling this way about this- I would feel the same!

Joined: 02/27/09
Posts: 120


I would def get other options about weaning so early. I would think you could go until your second trimester.

mandi04's picture
Joined: 08/10/03
Posts: 2272

"Potter75" wrote:

This may sound weird, but I was simply unwilling to wean in the first trimester. I knew the odds of something maybe going wrong with the new pregnancy, and I was way scared of mourning a loss AND the early or forced termination of our nursing relationship.

Not weird. I felt the exact same way. I got pregnant unexpectedly and was spotting (only 1 out of my 4 children I spotted with). I knew that if the pregnancy didn't work out DS1 was our last child and I did not want to wean only to have something happen with the pregnancy and then have to mourn 2 losses so to speak.

:bigarmhug: I will say that by the time I weaned DS1 I had no milk left so it might have made it easier but instead of nursing him to sleep I started just rocking him to sleep and that worked just fine. It was a much smoother transition than I had expected. I hope your new pregnancy is much easier than your first and you have a healthy little babe in 9 months Smile

sbaldwin's picture
Joined: 07/18/05
Posts: 164

Kayla.....omg omg omg.....I am so over the moon happy for you on getting pregnant. As for the weaning thing i am so sorry you have to wean Jordan now. I am not sure if you do but keep us posted. You are the 3rd person today that i was told was pg. I guess they come in 3's. Anyway so excited for you guys. I think Naya is starting to wean herself but thats a whole other post.

CamelNoodle's picture
Joined: 07/28/04
Posts: 908

Congratulations on 20+ months of breastfeeding! You did a wonderful thing for Jordan, even if you didn't make it to your goal 2 years of breastfeeding.

Kayla1981's picture
Joined: 01/04/07
Posts: 1529

Thank you all so much for the support. I've been reading your responses from my phone all this time. It's helpful to know that others understand that weaning can be an emotional thing.

I'm still nursing Jordan at nap time and bedtime. I'm only nursing on one side though, instead of both sides each time like before. She seems to have adjusted well. I think I will continue to nurse her through my first trimester like so many of you seemed to think would be okay. I have an OB appointment on Friday so I will discuss it with my doctor but I feel like I've sort of made up m mind that I will not stop ANY sooner.

I know I need to remember to be proud that we have made it this far. My first short term goal was one year and we made that goal. Then it was 18 months and we made it to that too. It doesn't look like we will make it to 2 but I will come to terms with it. Maybe I can even learn to appreciate the break before starting all over with a newborn? Maybe.

sbaldwin's picture
Joined: 07/18/05
Posts: 164

I am nursing on one side too. Naps and bedtime and i give her once in the middle of the night. Let us know what your ob says on friday. Big hugs to you and jordan.

carg0612's picture
Joined: 09/23/09
Posts: 1554

KAYLA!!!!! Congrats girl!!!!!!! Awesome news!!!!!!

Sorry you're having trouble with the weaning. It's not a bad thing to want to keep doing it - you've done an incredible job!!!!

Please stop over to the May 2010 chat thread and let our other mommies know about your wonderful news - they will all be so happy for you!!!

KUP on what the doc says, I hope you get the answers you are looking for.

Congrats again and please let me know if you need anything at all.