Thinking WAY ahead for vacation...

9 posts / 0 new
Last post
Nell4Him's picture
Last seen: 1 year 7 months ago
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455
Thinking WAY ahead for vacation...

Last August was our 10 year anniversary. Evie was born 4 days later. This morning DH texted me saying that he wants to leave all 3 kids with his mom sometime in August for a week so we can go on the cruise we had talked about for our 10 year anniversary (now a year late).

I told him that it depends on when in August cause I don't wan to miss her 1st birthday. And then I started thinking. What if we are sill nursing well. She is my last and I don't want to quit nursing for a vacation. But I won't be able to pump for her, so she'd be on formula and I don't know what else Gramma would try to feed her.... GAH. She's more important to me than a vacation we've been dreaming about for a few years.

I told him I wasn't sure I'd want to leave her for that long for feeding purposes. And he replied "K. Perhaps just the three of us. In a hotel by the coast." Well that doesn't sound romantic to me at all! I appreciate the offer to have her tag along, but it's supposed to be in celebration of him and me. We need that quiet and alone time, too and on the coast we'd have no sitters.

What do you guys think?

DS#1 weaned himself at 8 months after a long downhill from supply issues and supplementing starting at 2 months.

DS#2 was down to one nursing session when he turned a year old and we continued that for a few weeks until he didn't need it anymore.

Evie is our last baby and I want to nurse as long as possible, but I realistically doubt based on history that we will be going past December.

Maybe just a weekend away for our Anniversary and then a cruise in December when I'm gonna wanna be somewhere warm anyway. If his mom comes to the kids instead of them going to her, then I'll be more comfortable about it, I think. I just know she'd load them up with junk at her house.

TiggersMommy's picture
Last seen: 2 years 11 months ago
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Why wouldn't you be able to pump? A week is a long time and it miiiight cause her to wean. Its a personal choice. If it were me, I'd postpone the trip but I've also never spent a night away from my DD, much less a week. Once she's older I'll likely not think twice about it.

Marite13's picture
Last seen: 3 years 7 months ago
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368

This is definitely a very personal choice. I would not do it- especially if you feel you would not be able to pump for her, and it would likely be the end of your nursing relationship. I mean, would she probably be fine in the long run? Yes, she probably would. But would you also maybe regret the artificial, sort of forced end of your last bf-ing relationship? You might.

You said yourself, "She is my last and I don't want to quit nursing for a vacation. But I won't be able to pump for her, so she'd be on formula and I don't know what else Gramma would try to feed her.... GAH. She's more important to me than a vacation we've been dreaming about for a few years."

There is no right answer here- like I said, it's a personal decision for what works for you, your husband, your kids, your family. Some people will answer that for THEM the right answer is to choose their husband/relationship over bfing. But it doesn't sound like that is the right decision for you, based on what you said, at this time.

I fully support you in choosing your kid/bfing relationship over this experience at this time. It isn't a forever choice, it doesn't mean you don't love or honor your husband. It just means there are circumstances that cannot be changed right now, and you will make a different choice later. I think choosing a December or January cruise, when you'd love to be somewhere warm sounds GREAT. Smile

alwayssmile's picture
Last seen: 3 years 1 month ago
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

Very much a personal choice. There's no "wrong" or "right" answer.

DH and I did several days on the beach with DS right before his birthday (the week before actually). We all had a great time. We hung out on the beach in the morning as a family till nap time. Then as Aiden napped, DH and I enjoyed each other and the great view we had (we sprung for the extra to have a full beach view that was unobstructed). Went out to dinner and some sort of fun afterwards (sometimes it was walks, sometimes tourist shopping, etc). After DS went to bed, DH and I enjoyed wine (and more ;)). It was relaxing. I was able to keep BFing, and DH and I were able to enjoy time to ourselves in a setting other than home. DH and I had a lot of great talks and were for the most part, happy with the togetherness we had. We were all sad to leave!
DH and I have never had a honeymoon, unless you count driving across the country to get to DH's first military duty station. Blum 3 We've been married for 5 years. I'm willing to wait longer for *the* honeymoon. I don't want to leave and have retreats personally.
But don't worry, you wouldn't be a bad mom if you did choose to leave. Smile

Nell4Him's picture
Last seen: 1 year 7 months ago
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455

Well, we had a date last night and talked about it further. We are going to wait and see what kind of schedule she is on for feeding and sleeping at the beginning of August and then entertain the idea of booking the cruise for later in the year when I want to be someplace warm.

Thank you all for your input. I do appreciate it. It's just so hard to look into the future and guess how many times a day she's gonna be nursing, and how many times a night she's gonna be waking up. DS#2 just recently started sleeping through the night at almost 3 years old. And he still wakes occasionally.

Last seen: 3 years 3 months ago
Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

I've taken several vacations away from nurslings (one when DD was just 6.5 months old!) another time leaving a nursing 14 month old, and most recently a 5 day trip away from my nursing 11 month old. Each time I pumped ~ with my young baby I left a huge stash of pumped milk for her, the 11 month old drank pumped milk from a sippie, and the 14 month old simply drank water while I was away and went right back to nursing upon my return.

Everyone is different. Our marriage thrives on time together and time alone as adults, so for us vacations are imperative. Breast feeding was imperative to me as well, but I didn't (and firmly don't!) Believe that the two things can't co-exist! I do bet, however, that I may be the first person ever to pump at the turn at Sawgrass (the golf course :)). I just did what I had to do to make both work ~ my babies continued to nurse and my husband and I got to enjoy luxurious time away together to nurture our marriage. DH and I both would have resented breast feeding if it meant no vacations or celebrations away together without kids, and that would have been bad, so for me I found a way to make both work. When we only had one child who was nursing, we took him with us (he was 9 months old, I was nursing and pregnant) to Grand Cayman and it was lovely.....but with more kids it simply isn't the same ~ we need both family vacations (which we take every year) and just adult vacations (which we take every year).

If you have someone you trust (our kids are watched by grandparents) it isn't a big deal, even if a child is occasionally night waking. Our 6 month old was still up once/night when we went, my mom simply knew that that was going to happen, and had a bottle of pumped milk ready to warm when she heard her.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

Starryblue702's picture
Last seen: 3 years 8 months ago
Joined: 04/06/11
Posts: 5454

Is there any way that you could pump and freeze enough for her to have while you're gone? And like others said you could always pump while you're there. It's definitely a personal choice, and I know how you feel. Our new LO will be going on vacation with us this year because of BF (I'm lying, that's not the only reason, I don't want to leave him... but BF is a big one lol).

Nell4Him's picture
Last seen: 1 year 7 months ago
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455

I don't have enough to pump to store for her and she flat our REFUSES a bottle atm. We leave once a month for a 4 hour date and each time, the sitter can BARELY get half an ounce in her. She just prefers to wait for me. I could certainly pump while away, I'm not worried about it affecting my supply as much as I'm worried about her just not going back to nursing after it's all said and done.

This Friday, DH and I went out for 4 hours. I returned and she was happy for me to be back, but wasn't interested in nursing for a good 10 minutes after I picked her up. Then Saturday I went out for 3 hours with my sister and left her with DH. She was PISSED off at me when I returned. I took her from DH (she practically jumped out of his arms at me) but she refused to look at me and just had a very angry look on her face. She waiting about 20 minutes before she started crying to be fed. I took that as a strike. She was very mad at me and I could feel it.

This wont affect my being away from her from time to time, but it certainly solidifies my thinking that she'll not go back to it if I leave her that long.

Honestly, the longest I've even left either of my boys was the 4 days it took for Evie to be born.

I think I'm just gonna have to revisit this whole idea in May, I think.

Danifo's picture
Last seen: 2 years 8 months ago
Joined: 09/07/10
Posts: 1377

I think you are wise to think about it closer to the date.

For me, I might do a weekend trip away while nursing but a week would be too much. Even if you take just her, it then goes from an adult vacation to one with kids. While I have enjoyed our vacations with kids, I would not describe any of them as relaxing. Smile