Wanting to BF this time.

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motorjunkie89's picture
Joined: 06/03/10
Posts: 143
Wanting to BF this time.

I am really wanting to attempt to BF this time around. So I am going to tend to lurk around her and get tips and ask questions here and there. Just wanted to introduce myself here so that you learn who exactly is posting or asking the questions.

My name is Courtney and I was married 12-18-2010 to DH Jeffrey. I have a wonderful step-son that we don't often see, Jacob. Jeff is not the father of Ivybeth Louise born 02-09-2011 by c-section, but he is the best father he can be to her. We are expecting Juliet Anistasia in March via c-section.

We have no pets and I am a dedicated couponer. It helps to keep our budget in balance. We use disposable diapers and with Ivybeth we formula fed due to issues, but I am really wanting to try to BF this time.

I really hope to get to know some BF mommies!

Mommyin0406080912's picture
Joined: 02/16/08
Posts: 1644

Hi! My name is Ashly! I want to try and breast feed this time too! This is baby #5 and well we either had feeding problems, nicu stays or formula issues but I have a 30 day goal! I want to do it for 30 days! It's nice to know there is someone else that is kind of in the same boat!

ange84's picture
Joined: 12/28/09
Posts: 6564

I'm Wendy and have been nursing my little dude for nearly 14 months. My tips are, Get a good support network, hubby, family and/ or professionals or organisations. I understand things can be a bit different there but here breastfeeding is so heavily supported from the first feed or was at my local hospital. Support is key though. Also commit to a goal and then keep increasing on that. The first few weeks/ months (for some) can be difficult and keep that in your mind. Also some people find that not having formula in the house works as well, if it's not there you aren't tempted to use it.

motorjunkie89's picture
Joined: 06/03/10
Posts: 143

Thanks Ashly our isssue was a NICU stay with Ivybeth. We are hoping that this is our last child because I am not healthy enough to continue to be a pregnant mommy any more times.

Wendy your tips are very good and thanks for sharing. My support system is non-existant currently. I can't even get the LC at the local hospital to return my calls. My family and DH are not very supportive, but they are letting me do what I want.

I was going to keep some formula handy simply because there are times early in Juliet's life where I will be away from her for a few days. Yes, I will be pumping while she is gone but that early I want to have some formula to supplement just in case while she is staying with my mom.

ange84's picture
Joined: 12/28/09
Posts: 6564

The no formula thing works for some people which is why I threw it in there. If you wanted to keep it away from temptation you could ask your Mum to bring it around when she watched Juliet.

Look into local groups to support you as well, I think it's LLL over there and keep calling the LC. When you are in hospital also tell them you want to see the LC and if they still won't come let them know you will make a complaint.

Hearing stuff like that makes me love my local hospital more, breastfeeding was a part of antenatal classes and normal antenatal care, we actually had a scheduled appointment with an LC in our general care as well as knowledgeable midwives who would come and check how you were going on their normal rounds as part of post partum care.

motorjunkie89's picture
Joined: 06/03/10
Posts: 143

My OB actually told me that I should wait and talk to the Ped. after the baby is born about BF after I brought up the idea. That upset me a little bc like I have said on another board I don't think that it a wait and see kind of topic.

My mom will have Juliet and Ivybeth for about a week within the first two months bc I need to have oral surgery and I know I can't care for the two of them while being miserable.

In my area there is really nothing local. Everything centers around the two cities with hospitals, both of which are a good 45 minute drive. I have heard rumors of in home support after the baby is born but no one will give me any information when I ask for it. The only answers I get are the wait til the baby is born kind.

irishgirl's picture
Joined: 04/10/07
Posts: 1043

I'm sorry you're having a rough time getting some answers from the professionals.
I'm going to say some stuff not to discourage you (I really and truly wish EVERYONE would nurse their babies), but just some stuff to think about.
I have 3 kids. My oldest is almost 4 and she nursed for 33 months. My second will be 2 in March and she nursed for 14 months. My third is just a month old, and obviously still nursing. Wink

I had c-sections with all 3 of them. My first was an unplanned section. I was induced at 39 weeks, 3 days because of pre-eclampsia and after 22 hours of labor my blood pressure went too high, I had a fever,and was failure to progress. My second and third c-sections were planned repeat sections.

You need to read yourself and educate yourself the best you can since you aren't getting any answers. I wouldn't expect the OB (or even the ped) to be much help in my experience. I was truly lucky that my mom breastfed my brother and I and worked as a nursery nurse back in the 80s so she was a great help. If you can find SOMEONE anyone in your life that has successfully breastfed, that's going to be your best resource. With a little bit of googling from your location I see there is at least one LLL group with a website that is fairly close to you. I would contact them. http://www.llli.org/web/pennsylvania.html
kellymom.com is a GREAT website for learning more about breastfeeding also.

I'm going to let you know it's going to be tough for you just by what I've read already. 1) You know you need to use SOME formula. If you're determined, the easiest way (as someone already said) is not to use formula at all. Plus, every time you feed with formula, you need to pump to keep your supply up. Plus you might need to pump extra. Pumps don't stimulate the breast to make milk the way a baby will. 2) The main support people in your life aren't terribly supportive. Your DH (and your mom) NEED to get on board with you. Breastfeeding is hard and when you get to a rough patch and complain, you need a cheerleader, not someone telling you how much easier formula is.

As for when you're in the hospital, you need to tell every nurse, doctor, etc. that you see that you are breastfeeding. I think most hospitals are really supportive of breastfeeding, you just have to know how to talk to them about it and what you need. You need to nurse the baby as soon as you can. I think with all 3 of mine I was nursing them within 2 hours of their birth. You need to nurse EVERY two hours the first few days (You can go 3 at night) while you're in the hospital. For at least 15 minutes, but I would try to get to 10-15 minutes then let the baby nurse until they were no longer interested.
The starting of nursing is the important part. If you can make it the first 6 weeks, it gets easier. Smile

motorjunkie89's picture
Joined: 06/03/10
Posts: 143

I went to that site. The nearest LC is still in Johnstown, near the hospital, which is 45 mins to an hour drive. I only know one person who bf their child. She lives in my town, but i don't see her much. I plan on quitting after teeth come in. I am just wanting to do this for bonding and to help boost a poor immune system issue in my family.

My family isn't going to get on board and the more I am reading and hearing the less I am really seeing this work for me. I was told by several people that it is not ok to do it in public no matter how much people say it is and that it is very uncomfortable to try to do it in public.

My husband is little to no help with Ivybeth so not formula feeding will make it very hard when I have to take care of both kids. I am thinking it might be very hard to be in the middle of bf Juliet and jump up because Ivybeth smacked her head off of something trying to learn to walk.

This is where alot of my concerns lay. I am willing to give anything a try but I think that I may be more likely to give up.

ange84's picture
Joined: 12/28/09
Posts: 6564

"motorjunkie89" wrote:

My family isn't going to get on board and the more I am reading and hearing the less I am really seeing this work for me. I was told by several people that it is not ok to do it in public no matter how much people say it is and that it is very uncomfortable to try to do it in public.

Feeding in public is a personal choice, I did it because for me I had to get out or else I would have gone crazy. I had no issue (and still don't if I have to, but now he is older he can wait a bit) whipping a boob out. It is very discreet once you get it down pat, before that many people choose to use a cover of some kind, I used a muslin wrap. When I am nursing in piblic you see less than you do with the skany teenagers walking down the street with their boobs half hanging out.

Joined: 02/27/09
Posts: 120

Sucessful breastfeeding is often accomplished with mindset. If you tell yourself you ARE going to breastfeed no matter what, you will. You have to be dedicated to it and not give yourself an out. You can very easily exclusively BF even if you are going to be away from your baby. For me personally, I pumped at the beginning after almost every daytime feeding because I had so much milk. I did this for 2 weeks and it gave me a good milk store to use if I needed to. A good electric pump would really help you. Like pp poster said, you will need to pump after your surgery (even if it is pumping and dumping until you are off meds) to keep up supply. This is WELL worth it to be able to BF your baby. You mentioned your family has immunity issues. This should motivate you to breastfeed. I know you have had problems with contacting LCs, but don't let it stop you.

As far as having another little one. You can have special toys at nursing time. Planning ahead and confining all of you to an area will help. It is not that big of a deal to stop in the middle of a nursing session once in a while. With 3 kids, I had to every now and then to help one of my other kids and the baby just picked up where she left off when we started again. Also you become very good at nursing and walking around Biggrin

I didn't have a problem nursing in public. I just covered with a blanket. That is a personal choice however.

You can do it if you put your mind to it Biggrin

motorjunkie89's picture
Joined: 06/03/10
Posts: 143

With my stress level mounting I just want to scream. Information pours in left and right and it is good information that I should be soaking up like a sponge, but its all the horrible stories and the negativity from DH and my mom umoung others that is just leaving me feeling, well, tired.

My mother has been trying to undermine me alot lately. Ivybeth never took to a binky, which I was perfectly ok with bc I don't like them anyway. Just my personal opinion. When she was 3 weeks old mom got her hooked for like a week and we got it away from her. She is now almost 10 months and all I hear when she gets fussy is give her a binky. To humor my mom DH gives her one and she doesn't use it anyway! She chews on the side of it. I am so glad that I kept it from her. It is such a hard habit to break. I don't want Juliet to have one either, but I know she will end up with one, especially if my mom will have her for more than a day or two. I worry that with this new baby a binky will cause issues with latch and stuff. A binky is not shaped like the human nipple last time I checked.

Once I get the things I need I might feel more at easy. I don't get out much at all so the public thing may not be as hard as I am worrying about. The biggest thing is doing it around my family. My dad, mom, brothers, and DH are all making it into one uncomfortable boob joke after another. Its just akward if that makes any sense at all.

The research that I have done so far says that I should be able to BF right after the c-section because although some of the meds I am taking may get into the breast milk and make the baby sleepy they won't do any harm as long as I am under dosage supervision.

I am pretty ok with that considering I still have a huge lack of feeling in my stomac and pelvic regions from my c-section. So I suppose the only question that I really can't google an answer for is, if I decide to get my tubes tied (I really don't want to, but don't want any more kids) I have heard it is far more painful. Will breastfeeding make this better or worse and how much extra time is added to a c-section?

The second part to that I probably will google, but only moms who have been threw this can really answer the first part. Thanks again for all the support and help.

P.S. ange84 very true on the skanky teenager comment. My mother would have locked me away in my room if I went out wearing some of the things I see on 12 year old girls in my town. Smile

ange84's picture
Joined: 12/28/09
Posts: 6564

"motorjunkie89" wrote:

The research that I have done so far says that I should be able to BF right after the c-section because although some of the meds I am taking may get into the breast milk and make the baby sleepy they won't do any harm as long as I am under dosage supervision.

Not sure what drugs you are given over there but I had a c section and all I was given was ibuprofen and paracetemol which were fine while breastfeeding. If you have any concerns I would be telling your ob that you are going to be breastfeeding and any pain relief provided needs to be breastfeeding friendly.

motorjunkie89's picture
Joined: 06/03/10
Posts: 143

My OB listens to me about as good as my infant daughter. They are just in it for the pay check. Very annoyed by it. What I say goes in her ear and out the other or she passes what I say off to someone else.

irishgirl's picture
Joined: 04/10/07
Posts: 1043

After all of my c-sections I had morphine right after surgery and percocet after that wore off (about 12 hrs later I think?) every 4 hours. Both were fine to take and I didn't notice any difference in my babies. My first was really sleepy, but the others weren't so I think it was because of the labor before maybe.

Paci's don't matter much. They CAN make a difference in latch, etc, but only if you use them more often than you nurse. I gave all of mine paci's by the third day. None of them took to them. The first two gave them up by 4 months and the youngest isn't a fan at all but will use one in a pinch.

I didn't get my tubes tied, but I've heard it's the same recovery as a c-section recovery. It shouldn't be more painful, and I think it's just an extra 15 minutes or so. But I could be totally wrong with the time it takes.

I agree with the PP about the mindset. That's the main reason I was successful with #1. I was NOT going to fail. It was not an option. The mindset you have is one of your strongest weapons. That's why it's important to have a strong support system. Or to be able to ignore or tell off the naysayers.

Oh, and don't just look for LC, look for peer groups. Like a local LLL meeting. Most hospitals have a group that meets as well.

Legally, you are allowed to BF your baby anywhere you are legally allowed to be. I never nursed my first in public. My second I did a couple times. My third is a month old and I've already nursed him in public most every time we've left the house. It's no big deal. I was nursing the baby in my carrier talking to my husband and he didn't even realize I was doing it. Most people aren't even going to pay any attention if it's something you need to do.

Taking care of other kids and BFing is just something you do. My husband went back to work a week after I had the baby this time and I have 2 other kids. He worked nights 12 hours a day 6 days a week, so I was taking care of the kids entirely by myself. They're 3 and 1, and they either wait when they need something, or I nurse while I help them. It's not a big deal really and you adapt.

Joined: 02/27/09
Posts: 120

"motorjunkie89" wrote:

With my stress level mounting I just want to scream. Information pours in left and right and it is good information that I should be soaking up like a sponge, but its all the horrible stories and the negativity from DH and my mom umoung others that is just leaving me feeling, well, tired.

My mother has been trying to undermine me alot lately. Ivybeth never took to a binky, which I was perfectly ok with bc I don't like them anyway. Just my personal opinion. When she was 3 weeks old mom got her hooked for like a week and we got it away from her. She is now almost 10 months and all I hear when she gets fussy is give her a binky. To humor my mom DH gives her one and she doesn't use it anyway! She chews on the side of it. I am so glad that I kept it from her. It is such a hard habit to break. I don't want Juliet to have one either, but I know she will end up with one, especially if my mom will have her for more than a day or two. I worry that with this new baby a binky will cause issues with latch and stuff. A binky is not shaped like the human nipple last time I checked.

Once I get the things I need I might feel more at easy. I don't get out much at all so the public thing may not be as hard as I am worrying about. The biggest thing is doing it around my family. My dad, mom, brothers, and DH are all making it into one uncomfortable boob joke after another. Its just akward if that makes any sense at all.

The research that I have done so far says that I should be able to BF right after the c-section because although some of the meds I am taking may get into the breast milk and make the baby sleepy they won't do any harm as long as I am under dosage supervision.

I am pretty ok with that considering I still have a huge lack of feeling in my stomac and pelvic regions from my c-section. So I suppose the only question that I really can't google an answer for is, if I decide to get my tubes tied (I really don't want to, but don't want any more kids) I have heard it is far more painful. Will breastfeeding make this better or worse and how much extra time is added to a c-section?

The second part to that I probably will google, but only moms who have been threw this can really answer the first part. Thanks again for all the support and help.

P.S. ange84 very true on the skanky teenager comment. My mother would have locked me away in my room if I went out wearing some of the things I see on 12 year old girls in my town. Smile

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with unsupportive family Sad Maybe you can show them some of the research about breastfeeding and immunity. http://www.kellymom.com/index.html This is a great site for breastfeeding information. Sounds like they are ignorant about the subject. Hang in there!

motorjunkie89's picture
Joined: 06/03/10
Posts: 143

Thanks. As far as a lactation group around the hospital that is still a huge drive seeing as the closest hospital is atleast 45 mins away. I can show my mom facts and statistics until I turn blue, she just don't care. DH thinks I will be an embarrassment whipping out a boob in public.

The medications mentioned above are fairly similar to the ones that I was given with Ivybeth, so if all went well with that then I don't see a problem.

In another board I remember reading that pain was a little worse with a tubal because more stuff is moved and cut, but I wasn't sure if it was true or not.

I give great credit to moms who care for more than one child. I honestly don't know how well I will be able to do it. I am very skeptical. Thinking at least one of them will have to spend a lil time away from home til I really get into the swing of things.

I really wish all the wonderful women that I met here could just come sit in my livingroom once a week and give me support, but that seems like it would be highly unlikely. LOL Smile

ange84's picture
Joined: 12/28/09
Posts: 6564

If I lived close I would come sit in your living room and support you. Even online support is helpful, it's where most of mine came from once I left hospital. Hubby is supportive but not home a lot, MIL was a PITA, my Mum was all about doing wjhat I thought best and my friends don't have kids.

motorjunkie89's picture
Joined: 06/03/10
Posts: 143

Tonight I brought up my decision to bf at my mothers house. Didn't go well when I asked my mom for help in making nursing covers to try to save some money. She said why waste time on something that I probably won't stick with. Thanks mom, thanks for the support.

I am not a very outspoken kind of person either so I never say anything back for fear of starting an argument or causing anger. I just simply ate my dinner. Tomorrow DH's sister is supposed to be taking me to a WIC appointment where I am hoping to get at least some support, but I will still ask them about formula for supplementing just in case my supply doesn't come in well or anything as the horror stories say (LOL).