Need some tips

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juliekb's picture
Joined: 03/07/07
Posts: 27
Need some tips

My 21 month old is nursing when I get home from work in the evenings and to go to sleep and during the night at least once. I nursed my oldest DS until 23 months and had to wean due to preterm labor issues during my pregnancy with DS2. It was a very abrupt weaning that neither of us were ready for, so I was hoping this time would go smoother and I would do completely self-led weaning with DS2. Only problem is, he is the worst nurser ever! He has to pull my hair (hard, he always pulls out fistfulls), dig his nails into my chest, bite, hit my chest with his fist if the milk isn't coming fast enough, etc etc etc. And if I try to keep my hair away from him or hold his hand back, he has a complete meltdown. I've tried to end the nursing session right when this happens, firmly telling him no, but he still keeps doing it every single time. He also sucks so hard when there's no milk and it just hurts so bad. It's gotten to where I dread nursing him and want to wean, but he definitely doesn't appear to be ready. I just don't know how to get him to be gentle with me. Any tips for dealing with this behavior? I hate to force a wean, but it is getting so hard for me.

mommycarrie's picture
Joined: 09/07/06
Posts: 358

gosh, that's a tough one. It sounds like you were on the right track with ending the session if he's hurting you - sometimes I have to let Katie "try again" if her latch gets strange and she starts being chewy. Have you tried a nursing necklace or robe or lovey? I have one fuzzy robe that Katie really likes to play with if I'm wearing it, or if I'm wearing something more interesting, like buttons or embroidery it gives her something to mess with.

Good luck breaking him of the roughness... :bigarmhug:

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

We definitely have our "Don't Hurt Mommy!" moments. Does changing position help? My DD will treat me like a jungle gym if I side lie during the day. A nursing necklace helped when DD was quite a bit younger but I think now it would be just another thing for her to tug on and drive me nuts. Could you maybe read to him while you nurse? Maybe it would distract him from beating up on you and eventually transition into a bedtime routine without nursing.

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

Maybe singing while you nurse?
My LO is a pincher and I often have to hold his hand and sign a song so that he will stop the pinching. He too gets a little rough between letdowns when the milk isn't coming fast enough and will beat on my chest if he isn't pinching. I also find that the more I look at him and make eye contact the more he does the things I 'don't like'. He gets to the point of pushing my face away so I don't interact with him sometimes. I tend to relax and pretend to be asleep or stare off into the distance. He is way more peaceful when I do that and will often just close his eyes of focus on something. Sounds horrible and like we don't connect during our sessions but I think now its more of a quiet time for him to just be close to me. (When not pinching!) Hope you find something that works for you both.

Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

No fun! I think nursing two has helped minimize the "attacks" because I do remember my son doing some of those things (we weaned at 18mo, so a little younger), but with the twins, they can't wiggle all over and what not. Wyatt tends to "knead" my breast of back, and sometimes it gets very scratchy, but I am very insistent and move his hand and have to hold myself just right to not get his hand back there, its a pain. So sorry, no suggestions, just sympathy. Wink

DrakePlusOne's picture
Joined: 06/29/09
Posts: 1889

Julie, my youngest was a hair puller too. Bad! We ended up getting him a baby doll ('hair baby' he called her) with hair as close to the texture of mine as we could find. It worked like a charm. Be forewarned, not all 'babies' are created equal. When we would try and replace the original with another kind, he would say 'not same' and throw it to the ground. Here's hoping you can find some relief! (((hugs)))