New over here and TTC
I've been reading through some of the posts on here (have plenty more to peruse through, too!). I'm sure many of you can relate to my feelings of wanting to continue bf'ing as long as DS wants, but also feeling like it's time to TTC. I'm definitely not planning to wean my toddler for a baby that very well may never come, but I'm conflicted. We went through infertility treatments (femara, IUIs, injectables, 2 failed IVF cycles) over a three year period before our miracle was conceived. We would love to have another baby and it would be nice if I felt like we had a chance, but I'm on my fourth postpartum cycle and have the typical bf'ing pattern of late ovulation and short lp. I understand the biological side and don't want to shortchange my DS, myself, or a new baby. So why can't I get my mind on the same page? Anyone else in the same boat right now?
I've yet to have PP AF and we're not planning to TTC again until next winter. I'm certain I want DD to be night weened before I get PG again. I had horrible morning sickness last time and I will not be able to deal with a co-sleeping/nursing toddler if my next pregnancy is similar. The #1 reason we're waiting until next winter is that I'll have hopefully have passed my oral exams for my PhD by then. Getting PG before then would really make things difficult. If that weren't the case, I'd feel really conflicted. I'd want to get PG right away. So, I guess I sorta understand. It's hard balancing wanting another child with the needs of your other kids. If I were you, I'd jump on the "not preventing" bandwagon. That takes the pressure off but leaves the door open.
I second Erin, not preventing for a while should be fine.. and then if you are feeling more of a push to ttc seriously, then think more about weaning.
Just want to jump in if thats OK. My DS is just 2 and still nurses at bedtime. And I just got pregnant, due in July. I also got pg with DS when DD was still nursing 2-3 times a day. It is possible:) There are other things you can do as well to lengthen your lp, such as B12 I think (one of those B's anyways), that wont effect nursing. If you really want to start trying I would cut back nursing a bit, and look into what else can help lengthen lp. The TTC 0-24 month board is a really good resource for that. They would be able to point you in the right direction on that (better than me:))
Due to your situation of having to 'try' so hard to get pg the last time, I do recommend looking at this as just letting it happen though, but you never do know!
I didn't take any birth control since I started TTC my first DD. She was one of those crazy addicted fiend nursers. She nursed a million times a day and allllllll night. And I mean ALL night. We wanted to start trying when she was about 8 months old. I didn't get my first PPAF until 2 weeks before her first birthday though . I immediately started charting with OPKs and CP and CM because I couldn't temp with her waking to nurse allllllllll the time.
She was (and is still at almost 4) a HORRIBLE sleeper, and when she was 15 months old I had to night wean her for my sanity. We didn't co-sleep, but I would nurse her all night on the couch, so I wasn't getting any sleep. It took me 6 cycles to get pregnant (and I got pregnant on the first try with DD1) because my LP was short too. The first one that was longer I got pregnant. I took B6 and it was the first full cycle after she was going 10-12 hours at night without nursing. She still nursed like..10 times a day though.
I nursed her through my entire second pregnancy and tandem nursed 7 months and she just stopped asking one day. I never thought she would. She was 33 months old when she weaned.
My second wasn't as interested and was really only nursing 3 times a day and 2 at night when I got AF back, she was 9 months old (so 2 months after my oldest weaned). I only had one full cycle and got pregnant on a flukey cycle. My 2nd DD weaned when I was about 10 weeks pregnant.
Anyway, that long crazy post was to say it happens! Don't give up..find ways to naturally lengthen your LP. If your LO is nursing at night, if that's something you feel okay with cutting, that helps. I remember when I was trying for my second and how hard it was to balance the want for a baby (which I knew she would LOVE having a sibling close) and the want to honor our nursing relationship and do what was right for her in that regard.
Thanks for all of the long, thoughtful replies! We celebrated Thanksgiving on Sat. which threw off my DS's nap schedule for the day (he doesn't just fall asleep anywhere and there was too much going on). It's rare for us to let his nap schedule get disturbed because that always seems to lead to a nursing fiend that night. Doesn't help that he seems to be getting a few more teeth right now, too. I honestly can't imagine him giving up his night time nursing habit. EVER. I know he will one day, but he just seems so, well, addicted. I'm hopeful that getting pg the second time will be easier. When we do get around to weaning I will go back to my acupuncturist. Her advice at this point was to wean my toddler.
My sister is still nursing her 13 month old DD, but she plans to wean her soon and I don't know of anyone else IRL who is nursing a toddler. Most of my friends have older kids. Glad to have found this board! ;)
I had the same feeling about wanting to TTC my next baby while still nursing my 2nd. I was so torn but we decided to just let it happen and I commited myself to keeping nursing my LO as long as he was interested and my body would allow. We got lucky during my 2nd (very strange) pp cycle while DS2 was still nursing about 6 times a day. Even when I found out I was preg. I was mixed with emotion of happy the new baby and sad for what might happen to the nursing relationship with DS2. As time passes though things have fallen naturally into place and I am so much more at peace with it all. My body grated me a normal full supply of milk well into 18 weeks, and even now at 20 weeks the decrease I have noticed isn't enough to turn off my nursing addict. There always seems to be milk there for him, though my letdowns are fewer and farther between and I recently developed some nipple soreness. I don't plan on weaning until DS2 chooses to stop and look foward to tandem nursing my 2 LOs soon.
I have been NTNPing since last June when my cycle came back. Most of that time I've been REALLY hopeful and REALLY wanted to be pregnant. It took DH and I 3 years to conceive DS, so we'll never prevent till we're done having kids. I have no desire to wean DS, but now that we've made it to our original goal of 1 year I would be okay if he ended up weaning due to pregnancy. Sad, yes but okay. I'm not charting right now, but hope to once we're done moving (we're moving cities next week and moving across country in March) and hopefully my stress level is a bit less. Best of luck to you!
Joy, I'm obviously not pregnant but my letdowns are a lot fewer and a lot quicker now. I have zero doubt that DS is getting less milk now since he demands both boobs each session where he used to only get one. However, he doesn't complain at all as long as he gets both of the boobs. I'm sure a part of the milk issue is from his age more so than pregnancy. I hope you don't have any issues and are able to tandem! KUP on that! :D