I think it's unrealistic to think that not paying for a smart phone will keep a determined teenager away from social media and online communication.
The sexual activity comparison is a good one. I think if you say NO BOYS to a teenage girl, and NO DATES, you are setting yourself up for trouble and setting her up to have to sneak around, and once you cross that line, the line moves back a little and you cross it again. There is a lot of space between no dates and "here's a condom."
And there's a lot of space between "here's your free smartphone" and "no individually owned technology allowed".
Perhaps my opinion is formed by the current situation with MIL's foster kids. In Law's got to bed around 10pm or so. So this AM I wake to my news feed full of the two older girls having posted pictures all night long (14 and 15). In their night clothes, dozens of webcam pictures. Liking dozens of pictures. Chatting with grown men in the middle of the night. I am sure there are kids that age that are very responsible with the internet, but I have seen what happens when it is 100% un checked.
If you told those two kids NO COMPUTER ACCESS I guarantee they would find a way, and you (as a relative) wouldn't even have a way to know about it.
I still think you're misunderstanding me and presuming that I think you should just give up and let them do whatever they want.
I think 71% is probably a very conservative number. We recently went through an ordeal of sorts with my 10 year old step-daughter regarding this. Her netbook at her mother's house wasn't working properly so she sent it to my DH to fix. You can safely assume her browser history was a shock, even as it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been. All of her electronics here are parental guarded as best as we can, but children are crafty. I don't think anything is truly 100% guaranteed to keep kids from seeing or doing what they shouldn't, especially considering the vast amounts of technology they have access to.
I think the number is right considering what I know about friends' kids, and all the more reason I am assured my husband and I are doing what is right for our family.
We have one computer.
It is in the main room of the house.
We know how to remove the modem.
My children do not know how to access the internet.
My children will NEVER own a phone with internet while under our roof.. no need to.
I won't even buy them a cell phone.. at almost 10 and 11 things will not change that much phone wise to be able to have a good job and a home phone, and no cell. They have access to our home phone and can make calls if needed, we have unlimited long distance right now. and the phones again are in the main part of the house.
I even specifically bought their DS's without internet access.
One of their friends was caught by the mom corresponding on skype (they hacked it) at 11yo and were being given information to use paypal.
But... it was in the boys room.. first mistake.. and they had skype.. second mistake.
My children will not only be taught the dangers of it.. but not given access till I am not worried about them gaining access to it.
I wouldn't mind internet use with my permission for reports in highschool... and tada.. the computer is in the main room.. nothing they research should need to be hidden.
I wouldn't allow them a facebook or myspace.. or twitter or any social media access.. regardless of what new is coming down the pipe in the next 8years or so.
If they want to use social media they can wait till they are adults.. or have real relationships with real people
DH-Aug 30th 1997 Josiah - 6/3/02 Isaac 7/31/03
They don't know how to access the internet? Do you mean by getting the modem set up again? My 3 and 5 year old know how to access the internet even though they basically just use apps.
I think it is a disservice to not teach them how to use the internet appropriately. I use it in my daily life including work. To me, there are many negative implications to not having them know how to navigate today's technology.
I'm not saying they should have a free reign or be on Facebook or whatnot. But to know how to google something for a project? How to research effectively and how to tell how to make sure you are receiving accurate information is an important tool today.
Mom to Elizabeth (5) and Corinne (3)
That is really interesting Rg. So, you homeschool them remotely, and they don't even know how to access the internet at all? I think that the internet is a lifeskill. I'm surprised that you would not want them to learn it, being so intent on teaching life skills and all.
I thought your kids made like hundreds of dollars a month or something in the summer, or am I confused with someone else? Do you take all of the money they earn?